We Don't Talk About Bruno (Tagalog)
‘wag pag-usapan si Bruno, no, no, no
‘wag pag-usapan si Bruno, pero
Sa araw ng aming kasal (araw ng aming kasal)
Kami’y naghahanda at walang ulap sa taas (walang ulap sa taas)
Sa mukha n’ya ay may pilyong ngiti (kidlat)
‘Kaw ba magkukuwento o ako?
Pasensya mahal, tuloy ka lang
At sabi n’ya ay uulan (ba’t n’ya ‘yon sinabi?)
At ako ay nataranta
Lola, kunin mo ang payong
Nagpakasal sa isang bagyo
Isang masaya na araw, pero
‘wag pag-usapan si Bruno, no, no, no
‘wag pag-usapan si Bruno
Hoy, lumaki sa takot dahil sa salita ni Bruno
Parati ko naririnig ang mga binubulong niya
Inuugnay ko s’ya sa tunog ng buhangin, ch ch ch
Isang mabigat na kapangyarihan
Parati nagugulo ang lola at pamilya
Sa mga propesiya na ‘di maintindihan
Naintindihan mo ba?
Isang higante, daga sa likuran
‘Pag natawag ang pangalan sila’y masusumpa
Sa iyong mga bangungot siya ay natutuwa
‘wag pag-usapan si Bruno, no, no, no
‘wag pag-usapan si Bruno
Sabi n’ya mamatay ang aking isda (no, no)
Sabi n’ya ako’y tataba at tingnan mo ‘ko (no, no)
At sabi n’ya ako ay kakalbo
At tingnan mo ‘ko (no, no)
‘Di ka makakawala sa ‘yong propesiya
Sabi n’ya ang pangarap ko
Balang araw magiging akin
At ang kapangyarihan ko lalakas
Gaya ng ubas (oy, papunta na si Mariano)
Sabi n’ya ang iibigin ko
Ay nandyan lamang
Pero nasa iba s’ya
At naririnig ko na s’ya
Hoy ikaw, ayoko kita marinig
Um, Bruno
Yeah, tungkol kay Bruno
Kailangan ko malaman tungkol kay Bruno
Sabihin mo ang katotohanan, Bruno
Isabela, ang jowa mo
Kainan na
Isang higante, daga sa likuran
‘Pag natawag ang pangalan sila’y masusumpa
Sa iyong mga bangungot siya ay natutuwa
‘Kaw ba magkukuwento o ako?
oy, papunta na si Mariano
At sabi n’ya ay uulan
At ako ay nataranta
Nagpakasal sa isang bagyo nandito s’ya
‘wag banggitin si Bruno, no (bakit ko binanggit si Bruno?)
Bawal banggitin si Bruno
‘Di ko dapat binanggit si Bruno!
***
Sinubukan ko itranslate yung We Don't Talk About Bruno kasi 'di ko maalis yung kanta sa ulo ko. Sobrang catchy. Medyo singable siya?
***
EDITS:
May binago lang ako para makuha yung meaning hehe.
- Pepa (Sa araw ng kasalan --> Sa araw ng aming kasal)
- Binanggit ay naging pag-usapan sa ibang mga linya
Thank you u/thewaywardgeek sa mga suggestions
I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.
Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.
(Disclaimer: Non smoker ako haha, chicken joy lang bisyo ko)
Tanong: Ano ang karaniwang bisyo na binabalikan ng isang nanlamig na sa mcgi?
Basa, sa libro ni Bruno Mars 6:9 - 10...
6:9 "This bitch got me payin' her rent, payin' for trips Diamonds on her neck, diamonds on her wrist And here I am, all alone (all alone), uh I'm so cold, I'm so cold, you got me out here"
Nanlalamig na ito, sabi nya im so cold im so cold. Ano pa ang maliwanag sa talatang ito? May tampo itong ditapak na to, nanghihinayang sya kasi nagbayad pa daw sya ng rent, so malamang rent ito ng lokal, pati din trips, so baka outing sa morong ito...
"Diamonds on her neck and wrist" aba may pa diamond, simbolo ito ng prestige, malamang nag KAPI member pa ito...
Tuloy natin sa 6:10...
"Smokin' out the window (smokin' out the window) Singin', "How could she do this to me?" (How could she do this to me?) Oh, I thought that girl belonged to only me (mhmm) But I was wrong, 'cause she belong To everybody, everybody, ooh"
So ayan maliwanag, ang unang bisyo na binabalikan ng nanlalamig ay smoking... Pwedeng yosi ito, marlboro lights halimbawa, pwede ring ecigarette o kaya vape, o kung hindi ito takot sa tokhang baka chongke pa issmoke ng nanlalamig na ditapak...
Pero sa talata may clue pa uli kung bakit sya nanlamig... Ang sabi...
"Oh, I thought that girl belonged to only me (mhmm) But I was wrong, 'cause she belong To everybody, everybody, ooh"
Lumalabas naghirap itong ditapak na ito, nung kakabautismo palang nya mayaman pa sya, nakapag bigay bigay pa pero nung siya na ang may kailangan ng tulong hindi na sya nabigyan, so akala nya makakakuha sya pero sabi nga nya "i was wrong"... "She belong to everybody"... ah para sa lahat kasi ang mcgi, meaning dami public service para sa mga hindi ditapak, so si ditapak nanlamig nung hinindian...
Kaya ano ginawa?... nagsmoke. Next...
Do your worst!
I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂
It really does, I swear!
They’re on standbi
Pilot on me!!
Nothing, he was gladiator.
Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.
This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.
If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.
Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.
When I got home, they were still there.
What did 0 say to 8 ?
" Nice Belt "
So What did 3 say to 8 ?
" Hey, you two stop making out "
I won't be doing that today!
[Removed]
This morning, my 4 year old daughter.
Daughter: I'm hungry
Me: nerves building, smile widening
Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.
She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.
Thank you all for listening.
There hasn't been a post all year!
You take away their little brooms
It’s pronounced “Noel.”
After all his first name is No-vac
What, then, is Chinese rap?
Edit:
Notable mentions from the comments:
-
Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits
-
French/Finnish art
-
Country/Canadian rap
-
Chinese/Country/Canadian rock
-
Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap
There hasn't been a single post this year!
(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)
Nothing, it just waved
Him: I can explain everything!
(It's his best joke yet I think)
Bob
So that I could frequently say, "I am going to walk 5 miles now."
Edit: My most popular post on Reddit! 😀 Thank you for the awards.
Just to clarify, 12345678
Me grabbing a soda from my (what I thought was) half full 12pk...
Notices there's only 2;
Me: "Awe man... This is a damn bird box!" Her: "What the hell does that mean?!" Me: (Pulls both cans out & shows them to her) "It's only got Toucans."
I'm not ashamed to admit the look on her face was glorious.
I was just sitting there doing nothing.
(The translation may be spotty in some areas because it was hard to fit syllables in some parts of the song, also if this is the wrong subreddit to post this in please do tell)
Wag talakayin si Bruno no no no Wag talakayin si Bruno, pero
araw ng kasal ko (araw ng kasal namin) naghahanda na kami at walang ulap sa langit (Walang ulap sa langit) Pumasok siya at may pilyong ngiti (kulog!) Sinasabi mo ba ang kwentong ‘to? (Pasensya na aking mahal) Sabi niya "parang ulan" (bakit niya sinabi?) Puno aking ulo ng kalokohan (lola, kunin mga payong!) Kasal sa panahong bagyo (isang masayang araw, pero)
Wag talakayin si Bruno no no no no Wag talakayin si Bruno, Hey!
Natatakot kami sa kanyang mga nauutal Lagi kong naririnig ang kanyang mga bulong Iniuugnay ko siya sa tunog ng buhangin, ch, ch, ch Ang kanyang regalo ay isang pasanin Ikinagalit ‘to ng lola natin Gumawa siya mga propesiya walang nakakaintindi Naiintindihan mo ba?!
Matangkad siya, meron mga daga sa likod Kung sasabi siya inyong pangalan,inyong mundo? karimlan Nakikita inyong mga pangarap, natutuwa sa iyong mga sigaw (Hey)
Wag talakayin si Bruno no no no no Wag talakayin si Bruno
Sinabi niya mamamatay ang isda ko, kinabukasan, patay! (Oh oh) Sinabi niya tataba ako, at ngayon, Sinabi niya ang buhok ko ay mawawala, tingnan mo sa ang aking ulo! ‘di mo matatakasan, mga propesiya niya!
Sinabi niya, mabubuhay ako sa isang buhay na ipinangako Sinabi niya lalago ang mga kapangyarihan ko (Anak, Si Mariano ay papunta na) Sinabi niya, ang pag-ibig ko ay hindi maging sa akin, magmamahal sa iba parang naririnig ko siya, parang naririnig ko siya, Hoy sis, huwag gumawa ng isang tunog (naririnig ko siya!)
Si Bruno… Oo tungkol kay Bruno, Gusto kong malaman tungkol kay bruno! Bigyan ang katotohanan tungkol kay Bruno! Isabela! Nandito ang Nobyo mo! Hapunan na!
(Repeat verses)
Wag talakayin si Bruno! No! Bakit ko natalakayin si Bruno? Wag talakayin si Bruno! Dapat di ko talakayin si Bruno!
