Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?
To get to the... Bottom...
(as told by my 5yo son, I'm so proud)
My wife has started doing lunges to get in shape
It's a big step forward for her
I met a woman with 12 breasts...
That sounds strange... Dozen tit.
Everyone has an L-shaped sofa if you think about it…
…just that some are lower case.
What do you call a dog shaped like a car?
A Volkswagen beagle!
Edit: and when he's happy to see you, he'll be Volks-waggin' his tail!
Why should you never count your money while standing on an ant hill?
Cause you might finance in your pants
I bought my grandson a portable power charger shaped like a lady bug.
Now he has beetle juice!!
saw a girl with a tattoo of a tree on her breast, seems like it would be painful...
3 olives are walking up a hill
When suddenly, one of the olives slips and tumbles all the way to the bottom.
With concern, the other olives yell out, “Are you alright!?”
To which they hear the response…
“Olive.”
7yo daughter told me this one; How do lazy people stay in shape?
Want to hear a soccer joke? ... Why is the triangle the strongest shape in nature?
All is has to do is try, and GOOAAALL!
I like to make cakes shaped like vehicles.
Most of them have been delicious, but one was a little plane.
Why couldn't the bicycle make it up the hill?
Because it was two tired.
Did you hear about the new breast shaped breath freshener?
They are called... supple- mints
If you crumble Tums over an ant hill, the ants will start making bizarre shapes from the mound...
They'll be tripping on antacid!
I thought I heard news of a country making money out of soft pear-shaped fruits with sweet dark flesh and many small seeds...
But I guess it was a fig mint of my imagination.
I’d like a six inch Italian herbs and cheese with turkey breast and ham please, cheese and toasted.
I once told a girl that her body was shaped like a ketchup bottle.
She took it as a condiment.
When I was a kid, having fun was simple, we just rolled down hills in old tires..
Yes..those were the Goodyears.
I was mowing with my dad and saw a big ant hill on a grave.
Dad,”Must’ve been someone’s great aunt.”
Love my dad
My friend who's at a high risk for breast cancer had a masectomy recently to prevent it
She said it's a huge weight off her chest
What do you call similar looking breasts ?
Me: the earth isn’t flat. Fiat Earther: correct. Me: huh? Fiat Earther: it’s the shape an italian car. Me: what?
Fiat Earther: you read my name wrong didn’t you?
Son: I’ve started doing lunges to keep in shape.
Dad: That’s a big step forward for you!
What gets longer when pulled, fits between breasts, inserts snugly in a tight hole and works best when pulled.
I'm PROUD to have a butt like Hank Hill
My face may be a six, but my asinine
How does a demon stay in shape?
I made an explosive snow man in the shape of a cow
Which animal has the biggest breasts
What kind of bees like breast milk?
It's a five minute walk from my house to the pub, and it’s a 35 minute walk from the pub to my house.
The difference is staggering.
Jack and Jill went up the hill
to file a complaint about the location of the well.
If you told me you were a U-shaped stringed instrument
Well, then I’d say you were a lyre.
Well this one really grew pear shaped
Back in 2005, my father used to roll me down hills in an old car tyre...
My wife wants to get in shape, so I recommended lunges.
That would be a big step forward.
My wife wants to get in shape, so I recommended lunges...
That would be a big step forward.
Staying in shape.
My wife said I should do lunges to stay in shape.
That would be a big step forward!
My wife said I should do lunges to stay in shape.
That would be a big step forward
My wife said I should do lunges to stay in shape
That would be a big step forwards
I started doing lunges to get into shape
It's a big step forward for me
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