Our local Lego Store finally reopened after lockdown.

People were lined up for blocks.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CheeseheadDave
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2021
🚨︎ report
Even Ferdinand Feghoot could be outpunned on occasion – but he always rose to the challenge.

There was, for instance, the time he conducted a crew of new S.A.R.H. (Society for the Aesthetic Rearrangement of History -BJ) recruits – all from late twentieth-century Terra – on a training study of Carter’s World, a newly established agricultural colony attempting to support itself by the export of edible nuts. Barely into their second generation, and having yet to show a profit, the colonists were technologically backward. Nevertheless, they showed a surprising ingenuity in the use of their few advantages. It was this resourcefulness that Feghoot was demonstrating to his rookies.

β€œLook at the perfection with which these streets are graded”, exclaimed one student. β€œEarth-moving machinery on this scale is strictly high technology stuff. How can they do it?”

β€œA new alleyway is being constructed, nearby”, said Feghoot. β€œLet us walk that way while I explain.” As they strolled, he told his students that countless centuries before, the Carter’s World system had been inhabited by a now-vanished race of giants. This very planet had served them for a nursery, and among the many artifacts they had left were thousands of childrens blocks, immense and precision-cut. You simply jack one up onto logs, bring it where you want it, put collapsible jacks underneath, snake out the logs, spread soil more or less evenly beneath, and collapse the jacks.

β€œI see”, said the student. β€œIt’s not graded road at all; its a simple hammered-earth base.”

β€œThat’s right,” Feghoot went on smoothly. β€œYou just hit the road jack and don’t come back no mo.”

His students registered dismay and anguish.

β€œIsn’t that right, old-timer?,” Feghoot demanded of an ancient Carterian standing by the mouth of the newly completed alley they had just reached.

β€œAhm afraid not, suh”, said the senior citizen, and the students giggled at Feghoots discomfiture. β€œOh, we used to do it that way, but it was far too much trouble. It’s the soil heah. You see, the very same soil which produced our famous cashews is so high in clay content that a child could roll out a road of it. Then, we simply use a system of lenses to bake it into hardness. Ahve just completed this alley mahself, and ahm just a retired professor of Sports History, much too old and feeble to handle hydraulic jacks.

β€œSo you see,” he finished, eyes twinkling, β€œMah hammered alley is really cashews clay.”

Howls of agony rose from the students, but Feghoot never hesitated. β€œAnd he”, he said, turning to his students, β€œis clearly the gradi

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nomnommish
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2021
🚨︎ report
Settle a pun debate

I asked two friends for the best pun Bond would utter if he'd just shoved a bad guy into a huge industrial deep-fat fryer. Their responses were:

Friend #1: "Play with fryer, get burnt.
(Isn't there an old saying of don't play with fire unless you want to get burnt?)"

Friend #2: "Why is my instinct to say cool off there?
Let's assume it's christmas. 'Thats a real Crisped Kringle' is what I'd say
Or do I know the guy's dad? Let's say I do. 'Youre a chip of the old block'"

I know, I need new friends. Do me a favour redditors and please tell me whose pun is least awful? And if you have any better ones, I'm all ears! (Mine was "Thank God it's fry day", I'm sure you can all do better).

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πŸ‘€︎ u/creaky_thumbs
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
My two sons 5&8 are playing Minecraft this morning on survival. They are working hard together to build their mansion. I crossed the room in front of the TV to grab my phone as they are balanced high on a wall constructing a roof. My son screams out, β€œDad get out of the way!”

I said, β€œYou’re the ones blocking!”

πŸ‘︎ 16k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Colbosky
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2020
🚨︎ report
A group in Denmark is trying to convince the government to use old Legos to re-pave their highways...

...unfortunately, they've been running into a lot of road blocks.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Scientists developed a male birth control gel but it only targets the X/Y chromosome

Theyre calling it "Son-Block"

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kriskidd21
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
🚨︎ report
A small meteorite is reportedly headed for Legoland

The damage is expected to be 50 square blocks.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ“…︎ May 05 2020
🚨︎ report
So proud of my daughter, who ran upstairs to tell me our downstairs toilet was smoking.

She seemed really, really scared. When I told her I couldn’t smell smoke, she showed me this picture: https://imgur.com/gallery/RbplooY, giggling like crazy.

Chip off the old block she is!

Edit: thank you so much for my first ever award!!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/superdad0206
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Can someone connect mental health and dentistry in a pun?

I hope this appropriate to ask here. I am going to create a mental health support group on Facebook for Australian/New Zealand dental students and am needing a catchy/punny name. Currently there exists two mental health support groups that I know of on Facebook, both for dentists and not students. One is called Mental Dental and the other is called The Mental Block (alluding to the mental nerve in dentistry), so obviously I can't use those.

I'm not great with word games/etc so really appreciate any help. Thank you!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fallhaven
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the sword say to the shield after their fight last night?

Why did you block me?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Clone-Commando66
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Can any body help me?

Can anyone help? There’s a bloke in this subreddit who calls himself Buster and he’s driving me mad with constant private messages. Day after day he sends me youtube videos of 70’s glam rockers The Sweet. Does anyone know the way, there's got to be a way to block Buster.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shady7977
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2020
🚨︎ report
What a flow!

Egypt has sent a warning to Ethiopia not to block the Nile, but really, Ethiopia doesn't give a dam about it

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dark_Leome
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Had a chance to get frisky with the wife this morning, but my alarm went off.

I guess I got clock-blocked.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/blue_cole
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2020
🚨︎ report
The LEGO shop reopens tomorrow but I recommend avoiding it for the time being,

People will be lined up for blocks.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tobias_drundridge
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2020
🚨︎ report
I didn't realize the reopening of the Lego store was going to be so popular...

People are lining up for blocks!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/crogers2009
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2020
🚨︎ report
The re-opening of LEGO stores was the biggest event of 2020.

People were lined up for blocks!

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dgpx89
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the grand reopening of the Lego Store?

It was huge. People were lined up for blocks.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AnAverageParodist
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the new LEGO store in the neighbourhood?

Folks are lining up for blocks!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/no1krampus
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Need shredded cheese but only have a block?

Use the block to play your guitar really hard...

Shred it......

Cheesy I know, but I think it's gouda

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πŸ‘€︎ u/joker-here
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2020
🚨︎ report
The re-opening of LEGO stores was a big event in 2020...

People were lined up for blocks.

https://i.imgur.com/Ph9QdvL.jpg

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bill_Baldwin
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about LEGO mini figures protesting?

Block Lives Matter!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/andrewszabo
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2020
🚨︎ report
There's quite a crowd at the lego store

They are lined up for blocks.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thephantomnose
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Hear about the author in jail?

They put him in the writers block. Couldn’t get past his first sentence.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/adamhoolhorst
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do Indians love New York?

Because there's a Delhi on every block.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/khanzunair
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Have you heard the Lego store is open for the first time since the COVID shutdown?

They're lining up for blocks.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nectar23
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Minecraft is a hard game

There’s always a block in the way

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πŸ‘€︎ u/yibredditmemer
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Why are there no cars in Minecraft?

Because the streets are blocked off.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlankPhotos
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2020
🚨︎ report
I was going to make a joke about a professional Boxer

But he blocked my punch line

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Stormtrooper7509
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Got up this morning and ran around the block five times

Then I got tired so I picked up the block and put it back in the toy box!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Whlightning
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2020
🚨︎ report
The government is finally allowing Lego Land to reopen...

...kids are lining up for blocks.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2020
🚨︎ report
"Hey honey did you hear they came out with a male birth control cream?"

It's being marketed as Son-block.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SerbianTarHeel
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Stores are reopening after lockdown, and the Lego store has announced its reopening.

However, I recommend avoiding it, people will be lined up for blocks.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mama_Bear15
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2020
🚨︎ report
I miss Cubs baseball so much that I asked my kid to build me a super realistic Wrigley Field in Minecraft.

She did a great job, because just like the real Wrigley these days, the only seats I could afford had blocked views.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CIMMGW
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the Lego piece that was 323 feet to a side? It was a huge tourist draw...

People were lined up around the block.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2020
🚨︎ report
I was walking up the aisle at my local Home Depot and spotted a cranky looking old man in an orange vest.

β€œExcuse me, could you help me?” I asked.

He grunted in response, barely looking at me.

β€œUm, I’m looking for a way to keep my dogs in my backyard. Do you know where those electric leashes are? I’m trying to decide if I should try that or just block it off with a fence or something.”

He turned to face me and looked me up and down with disdain, β€œDo we look like a pet store?” And he turned around and walked away.

I took a fence.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kgold0
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2020
🚨︎ report
In NYC, after these difficult times many people were excited the Lego store was finally reopening.

People were outside lined up for blocks.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/johnblu5
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Businesses are starting to open up. In fact, the LEGO store is open now, but I recommend staying away for a while.

People will be lined up for blocks.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dasbett311
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the right ear say to the left ear?

Hey! We live on the same block.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bbiiggdd
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2020
🚨︎ report
The new Lego store recently opened up

People lined up for blocks

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Scaulbylausis
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
🚨︎ report
Lego stores have finally reopened in the midst of COVID-19...

and people are lined up for blocks.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2020
🚨︎ report
The Lego stores reopened this morning.

Customers are lined up for blocks.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JRD761
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2020
🚨︎ report
The re-opening of Lego stores was a big event

Really

Oh yeah, people were lined up for blocks

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πŸ‘€︎ u/toolaroola12
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the crowds at the grand opening of the new Lego store?

People were lined up for blocks

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CurGeorge8
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2020
🚨︎ report
LEGO stores reopening will be one of the biggest events of 2020

People will be lined up for blocks

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nebulas-Entity
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2020
🚨︎ report
The re-opening of LEGO stores in 2020 was a big deal

People were lined up for blocks.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Degtyrev
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear they’re reopening the LEGO store?

People are lined up for blocks

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/paperwizard101
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2020
🚨︎ report
The Lego store near me just opened up again and it was crazy!

People were lined up for blocks!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Joker6983
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2020
🚨︎ report

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