Bathyphysa conifera Puns

New tier 8 idea (all jellies get a 40% speed boost and become ungrabable)

1. Moon Jelly (100 hp each but you get 8 of these things) (90 speed) (25 dmg on bite)

New tier 9 that evolves from moon jelly

1. Nomura's jellyfish (700 Hp) (Charge boost to launch 5 poison bards that deal 50 dmg each in a spread) (120 Dmg on bite)
2. Giant Siphonophore (750 Hp) (Charge boost to gain a speed boost and 30% dmg reflect) (110 Dmg on bite)

New Tier 10 idea

1. (evolves from Nomura) Lion's mane jellyfish (1000 hp) (Charge your boost to grow a vortex in your tentacles the vortex will fall off from the jelly after 2 seconds that poisons enemies and pulls people into the vortex.) (140 dmg on bite)

2. (evolves from Nomura) Portuguese man o war (750 hp) (You passively float to the top of the water. Charge your boost to summon a blue glaucus (you have a max of 8 glaucous) click to launch a glaucus at your enemies that poison them and deals 30 dmg, anyone that touches the man o war gets poisoned intensely) (you can't bite people)

3. (evolves from Sipho) Deepstaria (1000 hp) (Charge your boost to lunge forward and grab a tier 5 and higher, when an enemy is grabbed they get trapped inside the Deepstaria they take dmg over time for 4 seconds. When the enemy is spat out they get their amour reduced and bleed resist by 30% for 0.5sec) (160 grab dmg) (130 bite dmg)

4. (evolves from Sipho) Stygiomedusa (900 hp) (Charge your boost to the yellow area to summon a Pelagic Brotula that orbits you (you only can have a maximum of 1 brotula). Charge your boost to the red area to make your brotula latch on the closest and the lowest health enemy. When the brotula is attached you get a 50% damage buff and poisons the enemy that has the brotula attached to them (the brotula lasts for 7 seconds on the target) (140 bite dmg)

5. (evolves from Sipho) Bathyphysa conifera (900 hp) (Charge your boost to launch a part of you that doesn't deal any damage and takes away 200 hp from you that slowly regens. The thing you launch on players is a chunky of you that looks like a blob of flesh and organs. The chunk of flesh thrown on the enemy will slowly mutate and deal damage (20) damage per second (after 8 seconds the chunk of flesh will detach from the host and reabsorb into you that gives you 200 hp and a 20% armor. if a player is killed with a bathy chunk on it the dead body will turn into an amalgam and chunks that have 800 hp and 80% speed. The blobs of flesh will have some resemblance t

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

The nurse asked the rabbit, “what is your blood type?”

“I am probably a type O” said the rabbit.

Mentos

(I will see myself out)

The doctor says it terminal.

Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat

Do your worst!

How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?

Mathematical puns makes me number

We told her she can lean on us for support. Although, we are going to have to change her driver's license, her height is going down by a foot. I don't want to go too far out on a limb here but it better not be a hack job.

Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.

But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.

They were cooked in Greece.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

He lost May

Now that I listen to albums, I hardly ever leave the house.

Said if she ever hosts a gender reveal party, when it comes time to pop the balloon she'll spray everyone with water.

Gender is fluid.

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

But let me give it a shot.

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

He’s the new temp.

And now I’m cannelloni

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

But that’s comparing apples to oranges

And boy are my arms legs.

Amy

Put it on my bill

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

BamBOO!

They’re on standbi

A play on words.

Calcium, nickel, neon

My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.

Pilot on me!!