Asti wine Puns

I have a friend who honestly doesn’t like wine, she’ll drink it on occasion but NEVER enjoys it. she’s young and still has a sort of “baby palette” (not in a mean way, she just doesn’t like bitter flavors or the flavor of alcohol at all). Recently we went out to dinner and she was disappointed that there was only wine on the menu so she asked for something sweet and the waiter brought her a cup of 2018 la dolce val moscato d’asti and she LOVED it. she said it was like drinking candy (note she also doesn’t like things that are sickly sweet). Unfortunately i’ve looked it up online and can’t find that specific brand anywhere near me and am looking for an affordable alternative that i can hopefully purchase somewhere like total wine. sorry if this is the wrong sub but any help would be appreciated! i also don’t know much about wine so sorry if i said anything that’s incorrect. thank you in advance <3

I don't drink alcohol at all so I'm fairly clueless when it comes to red wines. Trying to do something nice for her upcoming bday and she prefers "red full bodied wines" and listed the two names in the title as some of her favorites. Any suggestions on what else would be similar for her palate? Thanks in advance.

Moscato d'asti has become my new favorite, specifically, cupcake wine. Not high end or "fancy" I suppose but I really enjoy it with most anything lately. I'm not a wine expert, but looking for wine suggestions that might be similar. I really like the mild tastes, it's not harsh, bitter or a weird aftertaste... And more importantly there isn't a strong note of cheap alcohol to it. Lol. I need to find something local to the Midwest. I'm in Oklahoma which doesn't allow online ordering / shipping. Seems insane, doesn't it?

Mobile, be kind lol

Slowly starting wine newbie here--I was looking for recommendation few months ago and I (finally) tried it. Needless to say, it was a fine first wine experience.

Just one minor thing is that it's a bit too sweet, so I improvised a bit (I hope that's not against the commandments of wines) and put about 1/3 water and few lemon drops--you should try it!

So I'm ready for next level of recommendation! I'm looking for similar level of sweetness and alcohol. Dictate my next wine!

There are several newbie questions I want to ask as well:

• How long and how many wines have you drank/tasted to be considered well-versed and classy? (does it work well to impress a lady?)

• Are there any tips for memorizing all these wines names? I'm not Italian or French--I'm Korean/Japanese and patterns for wine naming is "type of grape" + "of some city"--is this true for all wines?

• Is there any site that I can purchase some investment wines? To clarify, I want to buy some wine bottles that ages perfectly after decades and sell them. When I saw some wines that cost a fortune, I saw the opportunity for some business. I want to become a wine seller (cellar) as side hobby. By the time I get that old, I'd probably be well-versed in wines, so I can take some strong ones as well (but variety wouldn't hurt); what would be the wines that you would recommend me to invest in?

• As previously mentioned, what would be the commandments for wines? I take cautious steps towards wine culture because it reminds me of chivalry (just my kiddish imaginations) and France seeing foreigners trying to speak French as mediocres of the society.

• I was told that Moscato d'Asti was a champagne. Is carbonation the only rule for champagnes?

• I also learned that in France, wine is cheaper than water, and kids drink wine and that way is preferred. Is it true? What are some of the wines that kids start with (because I'm a starter as well)?

Sorry for bothering you with so many questions and thanks a ton!

EDIT: also, is there any RSS feeds or subreddits for wine sales? As an example, I'm looking for sites similar to /r/buildapcsales or /r/dealsreddit, or perhaps we can turn this subreddit into one?

Edit: for everyone concerned that I won’t buy the things that bring me pleasure, don’t worry, this post is simply pure hyperbole and I’m using the shame as a hook for an otherwise inane statement. I have a free bottle of Asti though from my nan. Winner!

I'm not a wine guy I just like chugging Moscato but I am curious what y'all consider it.

Thank you guys for all the recommendations and rich information.

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Do your worst!

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

They’re on standbi

BamBOO!

Pilot on me!!

Nothing, he was gladiator.

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

When I got home, they were still there.

I won't be doing that today!

Christopher Walken

Hi all,

I am looking or a wine that isn't to pricey that can be paired with a traditional (beef) lasagna. Do you guys have any recommendations? ( my price range is 30 euros/dollors)

Als I am looking for a good wine that is around 80 euro's dollor for my father, because he loves wine and its his birthday soon.

Where ever you left it 🤷‍♀️🤭

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

[Removed]