My lesbian friends wanted a Full House themed wedding, but the priest refused.

He didn’t want to marry Kate and Ashley.

👍︎ 2
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📅︎ Apr 15 2020
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Waitress and me

Waitress: my name is ashley if you need anything.

Me: what is it if i dont?

Everyone: groans and awkward silence

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👤︎ u/hacopac
📅︎ Mar 10 2019
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So we're sat watching the world cup...

And my 9 yr old little brother's trying to learn the players' names and after he's told Ashley Young's name, he goes:

"what about when he's seventy? Will he be Ashley Old?"

I'm proud.

👍︎ 19
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👤︎ u/Joeyonar
📅︎ Jul 11 2018
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Where do pharmacists go to cheat on their spouses?

Ashley Medicine

👍︎ 8
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📅︎ Sep 23 2016
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My son got my wife today...

My sister-in-law is pregnant with her second child.


Wife: "We find out what your aunt Ashley is having tomorrow."

My Son: "A baby."

I was speechless and infinitely proud of my son. He takes after me more than I ever expected.

👍︎ 55
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📅︎ Apr 04 2015
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My dad's proudest dadjoke:

As I'm struggling with draping a tarp over our boat before the rain comes, I ask my sister to come over and help. Dad jumps up from his chair and yells, "Ashley no! It's a tarp!"

👍︎ 14
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👤︎ u/sannaryan
📅︎ Mar 24 2016
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The Pope

So some background information. I used to play college basketball with a girl who's last name was "Pope", and we always called her Pope. For privacy purposes let's name her "Ashley Pope".

Anyways, today I am texting my dad, a serial dad-joker:

rugbybackliner: I'm pissed, TIME Magazine failed to recognize me as Person of the Year yet again! They copped out and gave it to the Pope.

Dad: I'm sorry, but tell Ashley congratulations.

👍︎ 2
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📅︎ Dec 12 2013
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My pastor friend refused to participate in a Full House themed lesbian wedding.

He didn’t want to marry Kate and Ashley.

👍︎ 7
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📅︎ Mar 16 2020
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