I saw a pack of gummy worms that said β€œNo artificial flavor.”

Who buys gummy worms hoping they’d taste as close to real worms as possible?

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pllarsen
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2021
🚨︎ report
If you are offended by my dad jokes, don’t get mad and ask me to go to the artificial excavation filled with water.

I mean well.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PaulFromTheParty
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2021
🚨︎ report
South Korean scientists created an artificial star for 20 seconds...

It's a whole new take on Asian Fusion.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JustStargazin
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2021
🚨︎ report
I used to make artificial foliage for the movie industry,

until I got fired for barking up the wrong tree.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Bad packaging

I recently spied a bag of gummy worms which said β€œNo Artificial Flavors”.
Which got me to wondering: who is buying gummy worms hoping they’ll tast like real worms?

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheMightyViking
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2021
🚨︎ report
Scientists have invented artificial vocal cords.

The result speaks for itself.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/danielsoft1
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2020
🚨︎ report
When asked whether his former coach liked artificially flavored sugary soft drinks, Lionel Messi replied

ΒΏPep? Β‘SΓ­!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/klaymens
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2020
🚨︎ report
In the future it will be possible to incubate humans in artificial uteri. If you want yours in the one by the window, it will be more expensive.

After all, it always costs more for a womb with a view.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ivegot_back
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend created an artificial heart from stuff he got from a mine and an old pistol...

The heart is a vital ore-gun.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2020
🚨︎ report
I opened a shop selling used artificial limbs

I called it the second hand second hand store

πŸ‘︎ 49
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mr-m-meeseeks
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend started a business exporting artificial limbs to hospitals in foreign countries.

He’s an International Arms Dealer.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2020
🚨︎ report
I have created the world's first artificially intelligent pottery!

It is a ware!

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Swedish inventors have created cyborgs which are hard to distinguish from real humans.

Critics are concerned about the use of artificial Swedeners.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeFas
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2021
🚨︎ report
My wife made me get an artificial Christmas tree last Christmas.

It's just not Fir.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gwailo27
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Artificial knees should be called phoknees.
πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rubbernipple
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend used to work for the forgeries division of INTERPOL with a specialization on the trafficking of fraudulent paintings.

He was an artificial art official.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sully1227
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2021
🚨︎ report
An amputee found a cheap artificial arm for sale on Ebay.

It was secondhand.

πŸ‘︎ 51
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fatandsalt
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2018
🚨︎ report
I didn’t like this artificial turf when we laid it

But it’s growing on me now

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/magicrichy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2019
🚨︎ report
PRO TIP: The biggest myth about travel is "packing light" - don't bother! Light is available from the sun and artificial sources worldwide.
πŸ‘︎ 46
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Diok22
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2018
🚨︎ report
Just bought my wife an artificial leg for Christmas.

It’s not her main present, just a stocking filler.

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chooboto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2018
🚨︎ report
Where do they build artificial noses?

At the ol' factory!

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/penguinland
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2018
🚨︎ report
If you're pretending to be Swedish don't use the name "Splenda". They'll know you are an artificial Sweden-er
πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pm_me_anything___
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2017
🚨︎ report
After all these years someone found out that my bowl of artificial fruit isn't real fruit

I think it was inedible.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Man_207
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Her: What do you do for a living? Me: My company artificially inseminates cows for big farms.

Her: I don’t believe you.

Me:Trust me. No bull.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you cross Hannibal Lectar and Pamela Anderson

Dinner At Hooters

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CanadianTrainFan
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call someone who immigrated to Sweden?

an artificial Swedener

πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Confused_gay69
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you cross a wall unit with artificial intelligence?

Shelf-awareness

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pjaay
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2018
🚨︎ report
A sculpture of an expert art critic could be considered an artificial art official
πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shoelessdrummer
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2015
🚨︎ report
Wurst Case Scenario
πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KnifeKnut
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2018
🚨︎ report
I just heard the first song made by artificial intelligence

You could say it was a real Siri-nade

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NoDragonsPlz
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2016
🚨︎ report
I own a fake town which is actually a horror theme park and I only let a few people in at a time to keep demand and prices high.

It's called artificial scare-city

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TomBaiRaise
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Scientists have come up with an artificial retina that can cure blindness

I bet nobody saw that coming.

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Blue_Phoenix912
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2016
🚨︎ report
Hear they’ve made a new artificially intelligent Oreo?

It's one smart cookie.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bigfoothobbit
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2017
🚨︎ report
I thought you'd like this one.
πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Psykonick
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a blonde in a brunette wig

Artificial intelligence

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tjeters
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2020
🚨︎ report
I made this joke on my old account but I got a new phone so ima say it again... What do you call someone who immigrated to Sweden?

An artificial Swedener

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/good_old_jrmint
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Very fishy

Reporter goes to a brand new fish farm. The owner is showing her around. "These are our salmon, our trout are over there..." As the owner is speaking, reporter trips & her billfold falls into the nearest tank. It floats away, carried by the artificial current.

Reporter asks if the owner has a pool skimmer or something. Owner proudly says "No need, just watch - these fish are smart!"

Reporter watches as her billfold pops above the surface on the nose of a fish. The wallet is then tossed up, and another catches it.

This goes on until the last fish tosses the lost leather case into the reporter's hands. "That's amazing," she says.

Owner grins & says "Yep! We're proud of our carp-to-carp walleting!"

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/earthwulf
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Former US Vice President Al Gore is known for having invented the internet ...

Not many people know that he's also a pioneer in Artificial Intelligence and music. In fact, he's just published a new paper detailing a theory that combines his research in both fields.

He calls his theory the "Al-Gore-rhythm".

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/toe-haver
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when a blonde dyes her hair brown?

Artificial intelligence.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2019
🚨︎ report
My brain hates me

Thoughts that keep my brain from being able to sleep 😴 at night:

Why isn’t artificial cinnamon flavoring called cinn-onym? πŸ€¦πŸ»β€β™‚οΈ

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2019
🚨︎ report
So, my dad and I were talking about birds today..

and the fact that there is a giant artificially planted tree in our back yard that is going to get too big to support itself eventually, or whatever, and we'd have to cut it down. I said we'd have to relocate the birds that have made a home in our tree first, naturally, or wait for them to leave. He said "how are you going to relocate the birds? You can't just send them an email and be like 'be out of here by next Thursday'." There was a pause, and moments later he says "oh you know what to do. " "You send them a tweet."

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tehfrog729
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2015
🚨︎ report
If you're pretending to be Swedish don't use the name "Splenda". They'll know you are an artificial Sweden-er.
πŸ‘︎ 253
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pm_me_anything___
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2017
🚨︎ report
What do you call someone who immigrated to Sweden

Artificial Swedener

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrumSpace
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2019
🚨︎ report

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