Idk he hadn’t opened his present yet
Is really just tasteless
With a chip on his shoulder.
“You were supposed to be practicing expelliarmus on him, not this!”
“That’s what I did! I disarmed him!”
He kicked ass.
I said "don't worry, he's armless"
He says: " 'ello 'ello 'ello, you look 'armless, hop in!"
They see laying on a bed a man with no arms
Dad: Don’t approach him son! This man lost his arms in a mighty struggle and is dangerous!
Man without arms: Don’t worry guys, I’m armless.
Personally I think they're armless
Because they were mostly armless.
The priest said he was unsure if he could hire him, but would give him a chance. The man went to the bell tower and started running into the bells head first to make the most beautiful sounds the priest had ever heard. Unfortunately, on his second attempt the man missed the bell and fell out of the tower and died. The priest ran outside to the body and asked the gathering crowd if anyone knew who he was and they all said no, but his face did ring a bell.
A few minutes later another man walked up and claimed that the armless man was a dead ringer for his brother.
A bit of armless fun.
'Allo, 'allo, 'allo! You seem 'armless enough. 'Op in!
A Call to Arms A Plead to the Limbless
The Armless are a stump among society and could easily achieve more. It’s bothersome that somebody with great potential could allow themselves to lose grip of what they aspire for. The radius of support and development that surrounds these people is astounding. Yet they bite the hand that feeds and throw away opportunities. With each passing day they are crippled by the errors in their ways. Not only are they not properly handling the situation, they are doing a disservice to society. Most will say to refrain from pointing fingers, but it is pertinent that we show them their faults.
All aside we should most certainly not try to elbow my way into their lives. However, if they were to branch off into their own progressive groups it would be most beneficial. And severance is a good thing between them and the public. This doesn't mean a complete amputation of them from society. Perhaps selective assistance will help these people find a well fitted sleeve within their communities. This process is difficult and lending a helping hand can make the difference.
On the other hand, we have those who don’t try to succeed. Their negligence is worthy of more than a mere slap on the wrist. When somebody refuses to apply themselves, they are holding back progress. By giving themselves mental limitation they are creating a prosthetic disability they must abide by. The majority of working to achieve goals is believing you can reach out and grab them. But, somebody who gives up is cutting themselves short of success Seeing somebody give up is the furthest thing from being humerus. Urging these people is a necessity, otherwise they will never try their hardest, encourage them to use some elbow grease and put forth full effort. Any small contribution is better than being a detriment, community service, obtaining greater education, enlisting in the armed forces, these all benefit society. Drastic changes of this scale are sure to cause discontent, grab a tissue if need be, but never give up. For all those that are currently wasting away without contribution, it's time to limb’er up and take charge.
An armless one!
So in France in the 1500s there was an old tall church, and recently, the man who rings the bells grew sick and died. So the priest decided to hold interview for the job of the bell ringer. Nobody showed up but one man, he was a tall, strong looking man, but he had no arms. The priest, not wanting to turn anyone away, gave the man an interview, he seemed qualified but the priest didn't know how he would ring the bell, so he said no "Oh please father let me do it I'll prove myself, oh it'll be the best you've ever seen" the priest decided to give him a chance, they went up the winding stairs for a while till they reached the top. The man looked at the massive bell, but with excitement not fear, he was to ring the bell 5 times. He stepped back and ran full speed hitting his face to the bell, BANG. He stepped back, a bit shook up, but he shook it off and ran at the bell again, once again with his face, BANG. He did that two more times, then after the forth time He stepped back for the grand finale. He ran full speed and smashed the bell with such force it could be heard towns over, but with the force he was knocked back over the threshold and put if the tower to his death the priest ran full speed down the stairs to find a crowd around the mangled body of the of the armless man, a man walked over the priest and said "father who was this man who fell from the tower" to which the priest replied "I never caught his name but his face rings a bell".
So I was having dinner with my Wife's family and her niece is telling us about a shark attack she heard about.
Her, "It bit off his arm and swam away!"
Her Dad, "Well at least the guys 'armless now."
Me, "I just hope it was his left arm. Then he'd be all-right."
I was talking to my dad about spiders,
Me: "Huntsmen are great, they kill other bugs mostly."
Dad: "Yeah I really like them, they're armless."
Me: "armless?"
Dad: "yeah they're all legs."
I was looking at one of the damaged soldiers, which had only one hand. I said to my dad 'Look, he's 'armless'. My dad, without hesitation, pointed to a group of soldiers which were complete only up to the neck and he said 'those ones just laughed their heads off at that joke'
... "I wouldn't be afraid of him, he's 'armless"
BONUS DAD-JOKE: If the person is only missing their left arm... "I like that guy, he's all right"
I'm 25 and I have used these jokes on several occasions.
I was in Paris and uploaded a photo I took of the Venus de Milo.
Dad: This guy looks pretty 'armless Me: oh dear Mum: besides which, I think it's a girl Me: the boobs give it away Mum: ya reckon?
Shut down, dad.
