So I just found out that Chad Kroeger from Nickelback, loves to taking part in Nativity plays. He’s been a shepherd, the inn keeper and one year, he even played the rear end of the donkey...
But he never made it as a wise man
Podiatrists are always on edge in fashion season, and always disappointed by the end.
They keep waiting for the ortho shoe to drop.
Why did all the windows and doors almost end up in big trouble?
Because they had been framed. In the end, though, it was the floor that was grounded.
We survived 2020, only to find out in the end that 2021. And if that doesn’t beat all, it turns out next year is …..
2022
Disclaimer: reconstructed joke
What’s round on the ends and hi in the middle?
Why did the match between 1990 and 2020 end in a tie?
Because 1991 a game and so did 2022.
Went to the city pool and decided to pee in the deep end
Lifeguard blew his whistle so loud I almost fell in
A rope walks into a bar. The bartender looks up and says says, “Get out. We don’t serve rope in here.” So the rope goes out, cuts itself in two before tying the two sections together. It then pulls out a comb and combs its ends. The rope then walks back into the bar.
The bartender says, “Hey! Aren’t you the rope that I just threw out?”
The rope replied, “No. I’m a frayed knot.”
I took my dogs for a tour of the Milk Bone factory and gave them treat samples in every room. Just before I let them into the dog park at the end of the tour, I asked them how they liked their treats.
“De-leash us," they replied.
I posted this on r/eyebleach and in the end it got heavily downvoted but I wasn't missing the opportunity to post a terrible pun
Goldilocks, running from the 3 bears, finds herself in a dead end with nothing but a bag of ice. Papa bear is Drunk and scary. What happens next?
A Goldy-smack with a cold sack in a cul de sac, which is more than a bear with beer could bare.
In a field with lots of sheep and lambs roaming around, a giant wolf appeared and swallowed whole a baby lamb. The lamb whined and yelped nonstop for hours on end. After a while the wolf started getting sick, and yet the lamb yelped and whined ever louder.
Finally the wolf died and the baby lamb walked out of the wolf and rejoined it’s momma in the flock of sheep. Turns out the wolf died of internal bleating.
All credit goes to my coworker.
I always wondered about the fight between Dio and Jotaro. Even though Dio had trained for months before facing him, Jotaro still destroyed him in the end
Ig he really didn't stand a chance
I never expected the vintage movie I was watching to end with everyone doing a dance popular in the early 60s which is inspired by rock and roll.
My daughter was acting up so I stuck one end of a piece if wire in the ground and told her to hold the other end.
Two men went fishing one day. They sat in the boat all day, drinking beer and trying different baits. But they caught nothing worth writing home to mom about. So at the end of the day as they were loading up their boat, the first fisherman, whom I'll call John said,
"I bet I reeled in a lot of the redditors looking for a punchline, eh?"
The other fisherman said, "yeah, the reel joke is usually in the comments!"
Towards the end of December, I saw Bobby Fischer and Gary Kasparov in a hotel lobby, both saying they were the better chess player.
That's the best thing about Christmas - chess nuts boasting on an open foyer.
"What's the difference between a raven and a crow?" asked my son. "Ravens have seventeen wing feathers with the end feather called a pinion, in contrast to crows having only sixteen wing feathers." I answered.
I continued, "Therefore, it's just a matter of a pinion."
What US state is round at the ends and high in the middle?
I got a call in the middle of the night, and when I answered, the person on the other end of the line’s teeth were chattering...
Turns out it was a cold caller!
A string goes into a bar and orders a beer. Bartender says "Sorry, we don't serve strings here, mate". String goes out, loops itself and frazzles the bitter end. Goes back in the bar and the bartender says "Aren't you that string from a few minutes ago?"
Which came the reply "Nope, I'm a frayed knot."
Last week in Warsaw the government asked its people how they felt about an expedition to stick large metal rods in the northern and southern ends of the globe.
it was the Poll of Poles on the pole poles.
I went swimming today and took a pee in the deep end
The lifeguard noticed and blew his whistle so loud, I almost fell in
What's round on the end and hi in the middle?
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