The very first self-driving vehicle was invented by the Amish in the 1700's...

..the horse was great, the car was a little buggy.

πŸ‘︎ 64
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you cross an Amish man with an octopus?

I don't know either but it sure can pick corn!!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PensionNo8124
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call an amish man with his hand up a horse's a**?

A mechanic.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2021
🚨︎ report
What’s an Amish woman’s fantasy?

2 menanite

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/UberPutin69
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2020
🚨︎ report
I was going to tell an Amish joke, but it's a bit insensitive

But then I remembered they'll never read it here anyways.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/soaraf
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
🚨︎ report
How did we know we were driving through Amish country?

By the bad Yoder in the air.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sonofbro4
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2020
🚨︎ report
You know why Amish SUVs get such bad mileage?

Because they’re real grass-guzzlers.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RAClef
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2020
🚨︎ report
The Amish have begun moving to New England.

They will be called Mainennites.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/insanechef58
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Why was the Amish girl excommunicated?

Too Mennonite

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Cottleston
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2020
🚨︎ report
What's an Amish person's favorite raisin?

A barn raisin'

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/snuffy_tentpeg
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Do you suppose Amish pyromaniacs practice barn razing?

When Amish build barns it's called "barn raising". But raze is also a term to destroy, ruin or flatten.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SoundTrax
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Amish
πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mukesh610
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2018
🚨︎ report
Why don’t the Amish drink alcohol?

Because they’re always on the wagon.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Loamawayfromloam
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2019
🚨︎ report
My Amish friend invited me to a house party this weekend!

We're about to get churnt up!

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Pup_n_sudz
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2019
🚨︎ report
A schwing and a Amish
πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lmjueju
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2019
🚨︎ report
The Amish can't use pneumatic tools.

They only use oldmatic tools.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Have you heard of the new Amish rapper?

His name is Two Churnz

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/s7oc7on
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2019
🚨︎ report
He's a man on Amish-ion
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2019
🚨︎ report
The Amish have an auto-immune disease.
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jefuchs
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2018
🚨︎ report
What type of music do Amish people like

Tech no

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wizard404
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2019
🚨︎ report
This time of year, everyone should know the symptoms of the Amish flu.

First you get a little horse, then a little buggy.

πŸ‘︎ 48
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jeaux_seph
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2018
🚨︎ report
This is my home. Yes I live in an amish pair of dice.
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Dawnqwerty
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2018
🚨︎ report
Amish dad outside making butter.

So whose churn is it next?

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Cfox1B
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2019
🚨︎ report
How did the Amish know they didn't prepare their butter right?

It left their stomach churning.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ceejayzz
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2018
🚨︎ report
What is an Amish man's favorite dried fruit?

A barn raisin!

πŸ‘︎ 305
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/barthm1
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2014
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the Amish prostitute?

She did 3 Mennonite.

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bmiller62
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2018
🚨︎ report
My dad and I are driving down the highway when we see a sign for fresh Amish cheese...

The sign- "Made with real Amish milk!"

My dad- "Huh, I wasn't aware you can milk the Amish."

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/berjyboy
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2016
🚨︎ report
Amish murderers get the acoustic chair.
πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ericmc80
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2017
🚨︎ report
How can you tell if Amish people live on a particular road?

It has a "no outlet" sign.

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PityandFear
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2016
🚨︎ report
How do the Amish hunt deer?

They sneak up on it and build a barn around it.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bucktuck
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2017
🚨︎ report
We went to parade in rural Ohio yesterday and saw a lot of Amish folks

But I did not see anyone that was completely Am.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GeekYogurt
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2014
🚨︎ report
Amish or Mennonites?

My fiancee and I were driving when we passed two men who appeared to be Amish riding their bikes.

She asked if they were Amish, or Mennonites...

I replied, "No, those are men on bikes."

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mybeardisred
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2014
🚨︎ report
What does an Amish drive by shooting sound like?

clip clop clip clop clip clop BANG BANG BANG clipclopclipclopclipclopclipclop

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/IAMA_Printer_AMA
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2015
🚨︎ report
Amish man got Vanilla Ice on first episode of Vanilla Ice goes Amish. "Did you know I also sing solo?"

"Solo you can't hear it." My sister-in-law pulled it up on Netflix because it looked like a good laugh. As soon as the old man said that I was dying.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Tyler8245
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2015
🚨︎ report
Any time we drove through Amish Country.

Dad: How did the Amish Girl get in trouble?

Me: ugh...

Dad: Too many Mennonite.

Ok, I'll admit it, it always makes me laugh.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/awful_hug
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2013
🚨︎ report
Why did the Amish girl get excommunicated?

Too Mennonite

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/marv_alberts_hair
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Why was the Amish girl excommunicated?

too Mennonite

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2019
🚨︎ report
What's an amish favorite type of raisin?

barn raisin'

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/adi_2787
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2019
🚨︎ report
Why was the Amish girl excommunicated?

Two Mennonite

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dd0sed
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the Amish girl get disfellowshipped?

Too Mennonite

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bassicallybob
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2019
🚨︎ report
What type of music do Amish people like

Tech no

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wizard404
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2019
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.