Allo Puns

Google Allo comes with what they are calling Google Assistant. You can ask it to tell you jokes and so far they are all like dad jokes. What's more you can have it schedule a daily delivery at a certain time.

For example here are some:

> Why did the coffee taste like mud? >> Because it was ground just a couple of minutes ago ☕️

> How do you get over a fear of elevators? >> Just take some steps to avoid them!

I held it out to my spouse an mimicked a British accent as I said “Allo, luv!” I was rewarded with the eye-roll that tells me I’ve delivered another classic dad joke.

I'm against hair loss but propecia.

This is Un, this is Deux, this is Trois, this is Quatre and this is Six.

But when I asked him where his 5th one was he said "Cinq"

These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.

Well it’s quicker than saying “‘Allo Vera...!”

'Allo, 'allo, 'allo! You seem 'armless enough. 'Op in!

As soon as they found out they were in trouble, they started over the radio, “Mayday, Mayday, We are Sinking, I repeat, We are sinking!”

A little while later the German Coast Guard responds, “ Allo, zis is zee German Coast Guard, Vat are you sinking about?”

Every time he pulls it out of the medicine cabinet, the family hears a great big 'ALLO SIG' from Dad, as if he were a cockney brit saying hi to someone named Sig.

Every bloody time. Same thing happens if any of us need aloe vera.

I asked it to tell me a dirty joke

Why did the coffee taste like mud?

Because it was ground just a few minutes ago