Q: What do you give a sick bird?

A: Tweetment

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DarthBalls1976
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2022
🚨︎ report
Q: Anyone know where I can buy a soccer shirt?

A: New Jersey.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wafflecheese
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2022
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A DAD JOKE IN THE FULL SENSE OF THE WORD - Q: What did the dad buffalo say to his son as he was leaving the house?

A: Bison!

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2022
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My wife was getting ready in the morning and asked for a Q tip

I walked over and said "I have one for you: The trial never ends!"

Edit: it's a quote from a character in Star Trek called Q.

It has nothing to do with Q Anon <--- I can't believe that needs to be said.

Source: https://youtu.be/T1w309q3dbQ

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cbstryker
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2022
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Q: What's the difference between a cat and a complex sentence?

A: A cat has claws at the end of its paws and a complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MaCk_Pinto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2021
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Q: What does a volcanologist keep in his waiting room?

A: Magmazines

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jmorelock76
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2022
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Q: What do you call a balloon in choir?

A: a POP singer!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2022
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A, B, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, & Z are all racists.. How do I know?

Because they're all not 'C's.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RedPlanetCorridor
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2019
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Q. How do you tell a weasel from a stoat?

A. A weasel is weasely recognised, and a stoat is stoatally different.

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sourceshrek
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2021
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My pirate friends always bring a box of Q-tips to poker night.

The loser has to swab the deck.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DadFounder
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2022
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Q: Why does a chicken coop only have two doors?

A: Because if it had four, it would be chicken sedan.

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MaCk_Pinto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2021
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Q: What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?

A: You can tune a guitar, but you can't tuna fish.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MaCk_Pinto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2021
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Q: What do you call a film director who's been in lockdown for too long?

A: Tentin Quarantino

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Osariik
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2021
🚨︎ report
Q: What do you call a Satanist who only eats low-carb pizza?

Κ‡snΙΉΙ”-ᴉʇuβˆ€ ǝΙ₯β”΄ :βˆ€

πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zigbigidorlu
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2018
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Q:What do you call a waffle at a beach in California?

A: A Sandy Eggo!

Note: my 7yo daughter told me this, her dad joke game is unbelievably strong!

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Key-Fishing6132
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2021
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Q. What do you call a baby in full suit armour?

A. Infantry.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sourceshrek
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2021
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Q: What do you call a rabbit that has fleas?

A: Bugs bunny.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MaCk_Pinto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2021
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Q: What kind of key opens a banana?

A: A monkey.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MaCk_Pinto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2021
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Q:What was the first choir ever called? A:The prior
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SnooHobbies6674
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2021
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Q: How do you know if you are a hillbillly?

A: ancestry.com and eharmony.com both send you to the the same web site

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/td941
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2021
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Q: What do you call a deer with no eyes?

A: No eye deer.

Q: What about a deer with no eyes and no legs?

A: Still no eye deer.

Q: What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs if you set it on fire?

A: Still no flaming eye deer.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/crayonfingers
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2021
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A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y,Z

Happy No L!

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/big_macaroons
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Q: What do you call a pothead with two spliffs?

A: Double jointed.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/scoobsboob
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2021
🚨︎ report
If you tilt a Q-tip on it's side, /r/Jokes/comments/mh26ew/…
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TwerpOfThunder
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2021
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What do you call a subreddit exclusively for the letter Q?

A Q-mmunity.

I see the exit door.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CharlieRanger-04
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2020
🚨︎ report
My son said I was like a "q."

...Because a q is just a "weird 'o'"

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NnyBees
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Q: Why would Eminem make a horrible bartender?

A: Whenever you try and order a round he says, β€œYou only get one shot.”

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WJLindley
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
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Q: What's a vampire's favorite fruit?

A: A neck-tarine.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ralph-Hinkley
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2019
🚨︎ report
Q: What is a pirates favorite letter?

A: Aye, you think it's the C, but it really be his mate-E's

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_Landers_
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Q: Why Did The Pony Ask For A Glass Of Water?

A: Because He Was A Little Horse!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_1XCharlieX1_
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Q: What do you get when a chicken crosses a pig?

A: Beef

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sevenaces
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Can I play World War Z without having played World War A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X and Y before? /r/ShouldIbuythisgame/com…
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JonaSavage17
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Q: What did one shepherd say to the other after seeing a wolf in the distance?

Let's get the flock out of here.

πŸ‘︎ 248
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2015
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"Q: What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an agnostic, and a dyslexic?

A: Someone who stays up all night wondering if there is a Dog."

An oldie but still good.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/oxfordthethird
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Q: Which weighs more: a pound of water, or a pound of naphtha?

A: water weighs more.

The lighter fluid is naphtha.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/td941
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Q: What’s the definition of a cocaine dealer?

A: A person who sticks their business in other people’s noses.

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jchabotte
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2018
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Never leave a dad in charge of answering Q&As
πŸ‘︎ 139
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jinmeister
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2013
🚨︎ report
Q: What key do you use when opening a banana?

A: A monkey!

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nuk3st
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2020
🚨︎ report
A little Christmas song. A B C D E F G H I J K M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

NO L, NO L, NO L, NO L, NO L, NO L...

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/December_Soul
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
🚨︎ report
I have updated the alphabet for festive period. A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, Z

No-el no-L

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RikM
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Q. What’s the difference between a weasel and a stoat?

A. A weasel is weasely recognised, and a stoat is stoatally different!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/maryfountain
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2019
🚨︎ report

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