Bill Clinton's VP could have won in 2000 if he had found the right flowchart

But he just wasn't using the right Al Gore-ithm

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrDewinYourMom
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
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This 2020 Presidential election reminds me of the 2000 Election

But a lot less Gore-y

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πŸ‘€︎ u/heybuddy313
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2020
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TIL the first photo was not from 1826, but in fact over 2000 years earlier in ancient egypt:

"TheΒ earliest exampleΒ of a prosthesis ever discovered is not a leg, arm, or even a fake eye, it’s a toe. A big toe, belonging to a noblewoman, was found in Egypt and dated to between 950-710 B.C.E"

...the very, very first faux toe ;)

Non pun related, the egyptians were the first to grind lenses too, not used as glasses but instead inserted into statues for creepy eye effects

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πŸ‘€︎ u/berninicaco3
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2020
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How do you pronounce β‚©2000 in English?

A Wonton.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tsaot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2020
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I just found out how to burn 2000 calories

I left my brownies in the oven too long

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mafiaworks_08
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2020
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I cremated my grandfather back in 2000 and bought him the best urn.

It was the urn of the century.

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
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I just burned 2000 calories...

That's the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I take a nap!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WispyNarwhal
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2020
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What can a 2d animator and a hacker from an early 2000’s movie agree on

The main frames are key

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Daydreemur1
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2020
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I spent $2000 on a top-of-the-line DSLR camera to take a picture of a beautiful wheat field at sunset...

...turned out grainy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2020
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I bought one of those early 2000s robot dogs but have nowhere to charge it

I need to find a pug socket

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2020
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I saw 2000 pounds of quarters the other day

That’s a ton of money!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NekoLover72
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2019
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Why was the pirate afraid of the year 2000?

He thought it might be argh-mageddon.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2019
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What is a 2000 pound skeleton called

A skeleTon

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Squishy-sock07
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2019
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Did you hear about the 2000 lb Chinese guy?

He weighed wonton.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CMoy1980
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2020
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Just burned 2000 calories today

I won’t forget to remove the brownies from the oven next time.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/school-yeeter
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2019
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I just ate 2000 pounds of Chinese soup

It was Won Ton

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PianoPlayer1323
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2019
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I mean he is 2000 years old
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ahkaab
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2018
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Why would anyone fill a box with 2000 tiny pieces of cardboard.

I'm puzzled.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wmyspr
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2019
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I ordered about 2000 lbs of delicious Chinese soup

It was wonton

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chateau512
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2019
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Someone just caught me listening to a cheesy early 2000s boy band

Busted

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GaryTheKnight
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
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Reacting to a $2000 foldable smartphone...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sai_anand
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2019
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I just saw a man bench press 2000 lbs.

He really raised the bar

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2019
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I burnt 2000 calories yesterday.

I forgot to take my cake out the oven...

(Yes, all credit goes to Sorted Food)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JimmyNuggets
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2019
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Someone I knew called Jennifer really disliked 2000's music.

So you could say Jenny Was A Friend Of Mine.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/missredacted
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2019
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There was a draw for $2000 worth of free tires at the fair today

As I was filling out the entry form, I said to the girl: "If I win this, I can re-tire!"

She didn't even acknowledge the joke.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/scamperly
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2015
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I showed 2000 lbs of my things to my friend.

He said β€œWoah, that’s a ton of stuff!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Carter16891
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2018
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If I get a falcon born between 1980-2000

If I get a falcon born between 1980-2000, I would officially own a millennial falcon. I wonder how fast it could do the kestrel run.

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πŸ“…︎ May 19 2017
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What do you call a 2000 lb Asian dumpling?

A one ton wonton.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jollyroger24
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2017
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I'm going to go ask the 2000's out.

They just turned 18 so they're legal now!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/welderjoe83
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2018
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TIL in the late 2000s RIM was developing a voice interface to compete with Apple’s soon-to-be revealed Siri.

Hal-E-Berry.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Freklred
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2018
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I can hear him chuckling from 2000 miles away

I am sure he is real proud if this one πŸ™„

https://imgur.com/gallery/CRiGc

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EmbarkingZebra
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2017
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What did the 1990s ask the 2000s?

Y, 2K?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madk3p
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2016
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I ordered 2000 pounds of Chinese soup.

It was won ton.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/drozzi007
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2019
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I burned 2000 calories today

I left my food in the oven for too long.

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2019
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I ordered 2000 pounds of chinese soup

It was won ton

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jorielross
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2019
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I burned 2000 calories yesterday.

I left my pizza in the oven too long

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πŸ‘€︎ u/killer_pop_chilly
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2019
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I burned 2000 calories today.

I left the brownies in the oven on accident!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sasschary
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2019
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I burned 2000 calores yesterday.

Left the brownies in the oven for too long.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Obimark
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2019
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I just burned 2000 calories!

That's the last time I'll leave the brownies in the oven whilst I take a nap, that's for sure

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RishDaBoss
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2018
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I ordered 2000 punds of chinese soup.

It was Won Ton

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ModeratlyBigDick
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2018
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What do Chinese people call 2000 lbs...?

Wonton.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Popsiclesaucing
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2018
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I ordered 2000 pounds of Chinese soup.

it was wan ton.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nbv1
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2017
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