A hippopotamus only goes to college in your mind...
You know... at the hippocampus.
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︎ Apr 17 2021
Not to brag, but I experimented a lot with drugs and sex when I was in college.
Unfortunately I was part of the control group.
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︎ Mar 09 2021
My girlfriend from college was obsessed with trying to find the largest known prime number.
I wonder what sheβs up to now.
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︎ Mar 28 2021
God got into every college he applied to. His son got rejected everywhere.
He got hung up on his boards.
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︎ Apr 12 2021
So I peed on my college application and submitted it to get into my choice college. Guess what they told me?
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︎ Mar 19 2021
My college roommate, Anthony, was really into Italian food and Jamaican music.
We called him Reggae Tony.
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︎ Apr 15 2021
I learned a lot about belly buttons in college...
I went to the Navel Academy
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︎ Apr 11 2021
A meteorology student did research on the necessity of temperature change when he was in college.
It was a degree requirement.
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︎ Mar 30 2021
In college I took a class on braille.
The professor said we'll probably touch on everything.
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︎ Feb 24 2021
Sadly, Aquaman was never able to finish college.
All his grades were below C level.
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︎ Feb 19 2021
What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college?
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︎ Mar 10 2021
My dad worked in a pizza shop through college so he could afford to eat something other than ramen.
He was kneading the dough.
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︎ Feb 26 2021
TIL that Noah had a college degree.
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︎ Feb 10 2021
In college, I worked part time as a butcher's assistant.
You know, just to make ends meat.
π︎ 5
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︎ Feb 21 2021
Why do a lot of nurses go to college at the North Pole?
Itβs where the Icy U is
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︎ Feb 23 2021
I sent a circle to college, and it quickly became the smartest object on the planet.
Seriously, it had 360 degrees!
π︎ 6
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︎ Mar 05 2021
My daughter was watching The Little Mermaid so I asked her if she knew why Sebastian was kicked out of college?
It's because all his grades where under da c
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︎ Jan 17 2021
In college, I used to live on a houseboat, and started dating the girl next door.
Eventually we drifted apart.
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︎ Oct 30 2020
I tried to study abroad once in college
She asked me if I had a staring problem
π︎ 4
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︎ Feb 09 2021
The College Board announced today that it will be dropping the essay section from the SAT.
Itβll now just be called the T.
π︎ 34
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︎ Jan 20 2021
I went to a college in Oklahoma...
π︎ 4
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︎ Feb 09 2021
I called an old college classmate and asked what he was doing.
He replied that he was working on "Aqua-thermal treatment of ceramics, aluminum and steel under a constrained environment."
I was impressed...Upon further inquiry, I learned that he was washing dishes, with hot water, under his wifeβs supervision.
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︎ Jan 01 2021
In college, we had a buddy who always gave us suggestions as to what booze or drugs to try.
He was the original trip advisor.
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︎ Jan 16 2021
What is a Rubix Cubeβs favorite part of college?
π︎ 13
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︎ Jan 01 2021
Why didn't the sun go to college?
It already has like a million degrees!
π︎ 50
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︎ Dec 23 2020
When I was in college, my roommate used to clean my room, and I used to clean his.
We were maid for each other.
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︎ Nov 12 2020
I thanked my student loans for getting me through college.
I just don't know how I could ever repay them!
π︎ 44
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︎ Dec 15 2020
Thank you for getting me through college, student loan providers.
I don't think I can ever repay you.
π︎ 21
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︎ Jan 05 2021
My kid would've been in college by now.
π︎ 5
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︎ Jan 15 2021
I asked "should I go to college?"
They replied "of course you should"
I said "I degree"
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︎ Dec 09 2020
I can now legally tell dad jokes so heres my favorite. What did the father buffalo say to his kid when he left for college?
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︎ Nov 21 2020
My son is going to college in a town in Iowa...
He Ames to get a good education.
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︎ Dec 29 2020
Why's it hard for Americans to go to Canadian colleges?
Because... you must graduate High School with all Eh's.
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︎ Nov 08 2020
When I was in college, all the fraternities rejected me because I was circumcised.
You had to be a complete dick.
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︎ Sep 12 2020
I went to college to become a meteorologist but I quit because
too much of the grade was based on class precipitation.
π︎ 7
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︎ Nov 14 2020
When my kid graduates high school I want him to go to Indiana for college.
Then I can have a βHoosier Daddyβ bumper sticker.
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︎ Oct 07 2020
I wrote a card for my friend who just graduated high school and wants to study geology and/or paleontology in college. She also likes puns :)
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︎ Jul 26 2020
I have two college friends who studied ancient Egyptian plumbing.
They were pharaoh faucet majors.
π︎ 8
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︎ Oct 10 2020
What do you call scientific equipment that went to college?
π︎ 3
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︎ Aug 28 2020
What did the Buffalo say to his son before he left for college
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︎ Jan 31 2021
What did the buffalo say to his son when he went off to college?
π︎ 15
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︎ Feb 28 2021
How do you get into college?
π︎ 18
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︎ Feb 19 2021
My girlfriend in college was obsessed with trying to find the largest known prime number.
I wonder what sheβs up to now.
π︎ 6
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︎ Dec 31 2020
In college, I used to live on a houseboat, and started seeing the girl next door.
Eventually we drifted apart.
π︎ 39
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︎ Aug 11 2020
What did the buffalo dad say to his son when he moved out for college?
π︎ 5
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︎ Nov 03 2020
What did the Buffalo say to his son when he left for college?
π︎ 8
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︎ Sep 30 2020
What did the buffalo say when his son left for college?
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︎ Jun 12 2020
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