A disgruntled employee of an axe throwing establishment was leaving one-star Yelp reviews

Apparently it was a real hatchet job

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/P8ntballz
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
🚨︎ report
i was reading Yelp reviews of local mortuaries

found one that was rated cad-average.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/berninicaco3
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2020
🚨︎ report
The solar system wouldn’t do well on Yelp

It only has one star

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/scooterT12
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2020
🚨︎ report
The wise men come to the Virgin Mary and baby Jesus in the night, rapping on the door of their Bethlehem cottage suddenly. Mary yelps, answers the door, and says, relieved:

"You scared the bajeezus out of me!"

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gaiusnutcassius
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
🚨︎ report
A Parasite yelp review

Atmosphere was terrible and the HOST was so rude

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GDGameplayer
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you see the Yelp! review of Orion's belt?

it's so, so it only has 3 stars

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/anvil-14
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2019
🚨︎ report
I was looking on Yelp for some good seafood in my area and there was one place close by.

But it only had tuna half stars.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/OliveBoobs
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2017
🚨︎ report
In a field with lots of sheep and lambs roaming around, a giant wolf appeared and swallowed whole a baby lamb. The lamb whined and yelped nonstop for hours on end. After a while the wolf started getting sick, and yet the lamb yelped and whined ever louder.

Finally the wolf died and the baby lamb walked out of the wolf and rejoined it’s momma in the flock of sheep. Turns out the wolf died of internal bleating.

All credit goes to my coworker.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/robertmmoore143
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Sitting around watching the birds crowd around the bird feeder,

My brother says, "Someone must have left a good Yelp review." I said, "Yeah, somebody tweeted about it."

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mama_Bear15
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2021
🚨︎ report
Gabe had a heavy load this semester

Math, physics, comp sci. The only easy class was "The American Century." Open book midterm and final, so he wasn't going to do any of the reading all semester.

β€œIt’s a huge waste of time, Dad,” he laughed when I objected. β€œI’m not learning a damn thing in the class.”

β€œWell, then you’re just going to have to take that class over again,” I snapped at him.

β€œWhat are you talking about?” he yelped.

β€œYou know why, Gabe,” I said. β€œThose who don’t learn from history are condemned to repeat it.”

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cja1968
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Why haven't the Aliens visited our Solar System yet?..

Why haven't the Aliens visited our Solar System yet ?

They looked at the reviews .. Only 1 star.

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ELKakashi
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you know that dogs keep track of how many times you've stepped on their tails?

It's your Yelp score

πŸ‘︎ 81
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/all-the-puppies
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2018
🚨︎ report
Dad Joked by a Thomas Jefferson Impersonator at Work Today

Would this be considered a dad joke or an 18/19th century dad joke? Either way, I just about walked out the building after reading this.

ME: Hi Tom,

Thank you for taking the time to speak with me today and if there is anything we can do in the future, please don't hesitate to ask.

I was hoping you would be able to leave a Yelp review for other potential clients to see. I know that we will not be working together anymore, but we would really appreciate the feedback.

Thomas Jefferson: Matt,

Happy to offer you an encomium, however, I know of no connection between hounds striking the line of scent on a fox and complimenting a business enterprise of the 21st century.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Smashfield5
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2016
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.