Only Fallout and Witcher fans will get this one
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📅︎ Nov 24 2019
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Dad Joke for Star Wars Day

This one made me lose it this morning!

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👤︎ u/Bonzo205
📅︎ May 04 2015
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x-post from /r/talesfromretail. Customer was classic /r/dadjoke material.

I apologize for this wall of text, I didn't know where I should cut out parts because they're all relevant to the story. Sorry again.

Hey TFR people! So for background, I work at a kiosk in a mall where I repair cracked phones and do other mind numbing work that I can now probably do in my sleep. I've been doing this job for a little over two years and can fix an iPhone, for example, in about 15 minutes. I apologize for the wall of text. Anyway, this story happened last night.

So, a family of three walk up (mother, father and daughter) but only the father spoke to me and this is where conversation starts. Note: When I was handed this girls phone she had a case with this image on it and was already about to laugh. Customer will be C and I of course will be Me.

C: How much does it cost to fix my daughters phone and can it be fixed?

Me: Oh it's very repairable, after tax and labor, it comes to $xxx.xx.

C: Do it

Fuck, he's one of these guys...

Me: Alright then, I just need a name and signature on this disclaimer we have.

At this point, I've taken their phone and am prepping to work on it.

C: Do I have to use my real name?

PAUSE Now, over the 2+ years I've worked here, I have never heard this question. So I was kind of taken by surprise by it. For a minute, I thought he was one of those paranoid people. PLAY

Me: Um.. Well I guess you don't have to. It's preferred since we can look you up in our system faster later.

C: Oh ok.

I turn back around and start to use my tools on the phone when customer guy throws me another curve ball question.

C: Can my daughter still play the piano when this is done?

I manage to turn and see him smirking a little and go back to his serious poker face so I pick up that he's joking.

Me: Well I would hope so. Slight laughter

C: Oh ok great! She's never even touched one before so it's good to hear her skill won't change in the slightest.

I'm on the verge of outright laughing at this point. I manage to hold it back and finish my repair. I snap her grumpy cat case back on, hand her phone back when she mentions the home button isn't working.

Oh that's an easy fix

Me: Ah, don't worry. Give me one second and I'll have that fixed.

C: One. Try it now "Insert girls name"

Me: Haha well I haven't done what I need to yet.

I pull out a giant clear bag half full of spare parts.

**

... keep reading on reddit ➡

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📅︎ Jul 16 2014
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One of my dad's go-to classics when I was growing up

About 8/10 when my dad was checking out at the grocery store or best buy or somthing with a rewards card he would do the same dad joke (which I now find hilarious). If the cashier was a woman, this would go down:

>Cashier: Your total is $x.xx. Do you have a rewards card with us?

>Dad: uhh...I don't think so...

>Cashier: Well what's your phone number?

>Dad: Sorry I don't just give my number out I'm married.

idk if this counts but it was one of my dad's go-to's and the amount of times he did it combined w/ the eye roll punchline made it one to me.

Teenage me cringed, probably gonna do it myself at some point now. I accept my dad joke fate.

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📅︎ Sep 23 2017
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Who would win in a fight?
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👤︎ u/MRdaBakkle
📅︎ Aug 21 2016
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Proof that even The Doctor was a dad at some point in his life/lives

https://scontent-b-iad.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/t1/q71/558657_782683335080915_976773368_n.jpg

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👤︎ u/Link_95
📅︎ Dec 21 2013
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Regarding the Super Bowl's Roman Numerals

Me: Is the next Super Bowl just going to be "L"? Cause that doesn't sound as cool as XLIX. It needs lots of Xs.

Dad: Maybe it'll be XxV, get it? Like X times V.

Me: Uh-huh. Wait, did the Romans even know how to multiply?

Dad: Of course they did, that's why there were so many of them!

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👤︎ u/tornato7
📅︎ Feb 02 2015
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"It feels like we're walking around in circles."

https://scontent-a-sjc.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn2/l/t1.0-9/1002564_10152084893704418_275552485_n.jpg

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📅︎ Jul 12 2014
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Two dadjokes I used on my friend, now posted from his perspective on facebook
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👤︎ u/DemRocks
📅︎ Nov 26 2014
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Cold Hard Cash.

https://scontent-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn2/q82/s720x720/1461215_562850550456577_1918780076_n.jpg

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👤︎ u/t17389z
📅︎ Dec 16 2013
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