X Terminal Puns

My doctor says it's terminal.

It was a terminal illness.

(Special thanks to my dog's friend's dad for this one)

Doc says it’s terminal.

He said it was terminal

I had them tested and one came back positive. Google says it’s terminal.

He eventually died. I guess the condition was terminal.

Which is one more than eight. I feel this has to have been part of the name creation. “We’ll do you one better than terminate, we’ll termiNINE”.

The doctor said it was terminal

So at work this morning I opened up a new can of coffee grounds and thought “If I spilled this on the floor...would that be grounds for termination?” 😆

The doctor says it’s terminal

Me: I played video games

Interviewer: Why were you terminated?

Me: I played video games.

He's terminal ill

He was an ex-terminator

Terminal Illness

I now have a terminal hangover.

He didn't want to pay an early termination fee.

In-terminant farting

Now they call me the ex-terminator.

Hope it’s not terminal.

Me: the actors who played anakin, emperor palpatine, and darth vader came to meet and kid with a terminal illness recently.

Dad: You'd think that Hayden Christiensen would've thought the kid had suffered enough.

as an exTerminator

I think it's terminal.

Arnold: I’m not a terminator anymore, I’m retired

Me: But my house is filled with cockroaches & rats, please help!!!

Arnold: How‘s that my concern?

Me: If you’re retired doesn’t that make you an exterminator?

If your onion sang hip-hop, would that be a rapscallion?

I used to be an astronaut, but I got tired of eating out of satellite dishes. I wasn't allowed to eat the Milky Way, even though I had to look at it every day. The worst thing was, I never got to visit The Space Bar. Then, when I was visiting the dark side of the moon, I was bitten by a parasite. Now, you might think it's crazy, but the doctor who removed it called it a lunar-tick.

If "womb" is pronounced "woom" and "tomb" is pronounced "toom", shouldn't "bomb" be pronounced "boom"?

China recently tested a new steroid. It basically turns you into The Hulk. The side effect is it could turn you into a crazed zombie that tends to rip the upper extremities from people. People are saying that this could be the zombie apocalypse. In my opinion, lips have nothing to do with it. I call it ARMageddon. The only way to stay safe now is to not let anyone close enough to disarm you.

I recently was going to join the railroad union. I decided against it because it's complicated. If I received instruction on driving the locomotive, would they call it engineering, or training?

I got a sad story about a flower. I don't know who the heck she pissed off, but damn, now she's a Black-Eyed Susan.

I finally figured out what makes leaves angry. Fall. They get so mad they change color. Some are yellow. They're just afraid and run from their problems. The other ones usually just leave.

I went parachuting with my military buddies once. We landed on a department store. I told him I think we're at the wrong coordinates. He said: "Nope. We're right on Target"

I asked a psychologist if Native Americans have strong emotions. He said "Oh yeah, they're intense".

If a psychotic person thought something made sense, would that thought be psychological?

If Matt Damon were searching for a secondhand store, would he be Goodwill Hunting?

My friend is a Marksman for the military. One day, he went to the armory and asked for 3 snipers. They gave him a candy bar. It was a 3 Musketeers.

I want to be there if Dwayne Johnson ever uses a pizza stone. That way I can smell what "The Rock" is cookin'.

Christopher bought a lemon, and the car broke down. Now Christopher Walken.

Have you heard about the latest bank battle on Wall Street? Capital One and Chase got in a fight and Capital One.

You know what a pirate says to his wenches when he sees the shoreline? "LAND HO!"

A man finds a lamp in the desert and dusts it off. Poof! A genie p

It’s soda termined

Terminal velocity.

At that point it is fired and becomes an ex-Terminator.

I'm a nervous flyer, and just curious, as to why in the heck the building we catch the plane from is called a terminal...🤔

He acquired a terminal illness.

In my experience, patients under observation do far better than the terminally ill.

Did you hear about the Italian chef with a terminal illness?

He pastaway.

Cannoli do so much.

Now hes just a pizza history.

So the person's profile only talks about airplanes. I wanted to send a message totally jammed packed with airplane puns but I don't have that many. It's probably a fake profile but I still think it would be fun.

Here's what I have so far. Hey Girl. Most of the girls on this website are so 'plane' but you're the exception. I have a 'terminal' illness and hope to meet my copilot before I go. Just kidding. My health is 'A oK47'. I was just 'play'n' around. Just to let you know I have some baggage from some 'turbulence' in a previous relationship but Shirley I can get past it. My previous relationship taught me that two wrongs don't make a right. However, two Wrights made an airplane. I hope a new relationship can 'takeoff' with you though. I would be a great boyfriend. I have financial 'security' and could buy you anything you want with my 'visa'. Have you seen the movie, "Planes, Trains, and Automobiles"? It's really good, except for the train and automobile parts.

I think it may be terminal

My doctor says it’s terminal

My doctor says it terminal

My doctor says it’s terminal.

My doctor says it's terminal.

my doctor says it's terminal

The doctor says it's terminal.

I had one of them tested, and it was positive. Hope it's not terminal.

The doctor says it's terminal

... My doctor says it’s terminal.

Terminal illness.