True story, I was at a work function where lunch was served. A co worker came over with a plate and his tie had somehow ended up in the plate.
I thought I was hilarious when I asked “I didn’t know they were serving Thai (tie) food.
Nobody got it, wtf was it that obscure a reference?
I never believed that my dad was stealing from his job as a road worker,
but when I got home all the signs were there.
My SO is currently in the process of becoming an Ophthalmologist and she has been woking on jokes for her patients and co workers.... She just made me proud.
SO: Where do Rainbows go when they are bad?
Me: Idk you got me on that one..
SO: They go to Prism......
*crickets chirping*
SO: but dont worry its just a LIGHT sentence!
Had this conversation with my co-worker.
After a long time, I told my hot co-worker how I felt. She felt the same way!
What do teachers and road workers have in common?
They both grade on a curve!
What is a construction workers favorite dance?
What they call the ship where only workers are slaves?
Workers recently dig up an unidentified body.
What do we call it when two airline workers fall in love on an airplane?
After taking product to a customer today I told my co-worker that I had removed the liver from the box
He responded "whaaa?"
So I told him the product was de-livered!
Did you hear about the dog that was a construction worker?
His speciality was roofing.
Worker bees were fighting among themselves about building the beehive.
Queen bee: Silence! Beehive yourselves!
My husband met our new neighbor
OK so I'm the mom but I've got all jokes!
My husband says "I met our neighbor and he's a train engineer from a long line of rail workers."
To which I replied..
sounds like he got railroaded into it or maybe he just came to a crossing.
I'm sure he didn't want to blow his own horn though.
Is this joke running out of steam?
At this point my husband walked away saying " this is why I don't talk to you" 😂
Why was the toilet paper a good worker?
They always plyed their trade!
A man walked into a hardware store, picked up a can of fly spray and asked the assistant, "Is this good for wasps?" The worker explained…
The Starbucks drive-thru worker said "Can I get a name for the order?"
"Let's call it, 'My Little Special Friday Coffee.'"
What my co-worker uses at work.
Perks at the morgue: each worker gets a coroner office.
Why are postal workers such good comedians?
Because they have a special delivery.
Did you hear that Coca-Cola was downsizing?
A lot of workers got canned
I bet that isn't how they wanted to cap off their careers
Worker: Boss, can I have a week free around christmas? Boss: ...it's May. Worker: Oops, sorry, boss.
MAY, I have a week free around christmas?
The local beavers used to be real hard workers
But now they just don't give a dam
Co-worker: "A woman's work is never done."
Me: "That's why men get paid more, because we get the job done."
What would George Strait sing if he'd be an office worker?
All my Excels live in XLSX!
You should check out the new musical about construction workers
What did the construction worker say to the other construction worker after he sealed a doorframe?
I took my 8 year old girl to the office with me on "take your kid to work day". As we were walking around the office, she started crying and getting very cranky, so I ask her what was wrong.
As my co-workers gather round, she sobbed loudly "Daddy where are all the clowns you said you worked with?!"
How do the Nintendo workers say yes in French?
What’s every road-worker’s favorite candy?
Ok, I admit it. I’m an unemployed leather worker.
What do you call a worker bee who stings you to protect the hive?
Construction workers don't have side chicks
Clock tower maintenance workers are going on strike!
“It’s about high time,” commented the union representative.
A guy started a company that honors construction workers.
After years of research he started selling bouquets of laminate, hardwood and tile. He became the first floorist.
Where do sex worker monks live?
What does a worker at the Irish sperm bank say after you are finished?
Do sex workers pass gas?
No, they let out little prostitoots
What's a lazy worker's least favorite keyboard key?
Workers rescued after a cave in, were reported saying
That it was a miner inconvenience
The Dalai Lama walks into a pizza shop
The worker asks “what can I get you”? The Dalai Lama asks “can you make me one with everything”?
I didn't want to believe my dad was stealing from his job as a road worker
But when I got home all the signs were there
I refused to believe my son got fired as a road worker for theft.
But when I got home, all the signs were there
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