Yea, I was out back taking a break and at least 50 crows flew by, maybe 100.
"It turns out out that they're typically lyres".
"Wanna change my clothes, my hair, my face"
The Quaranteens
He had a good mental faculty.
4 witnessed everything but was 2 squared to tell anyone
This guy walks out of a store screaming how they're cheats and frauds. He then proceeds to knock over a mannequin and a few other decorations.
He then buys a coffee, is a jerk to the cashier and then spills some on the floor. He walks away and snaps his fingers at the janitor to clean it up.
The last straw was when he walks up to a group of school kids and starts ranting about how they should drop out of school and rise up against the establishment.
Security finally escorted him out kicking and screaming. Finally things calmed down a bit.
All in all, it was just another dick in the mall.
Apparently they don’t like people knocking on their doors.
The events that followed were a-bomb-in-a-bull
Policeman: Can you describe the shooter? Waiter: 6 feet, white male, grey shirt and a skirt made of parsley. P: Parsley? W: Yes. It was just a herb he wore.
Someone who knocks on your door for no apparent reason.
They were pioneers.
An Aggreshiv
Do you know what a sarcasm is? Sarcasm in its singular form?
It is the gap that exists between the creator of sarcastic wit and those that don't get it.
A Sarchasm....
…is a sudden shift of wit.
One is a cat loaf and the other is a cattle oaf.
Witnesses were stunned, startled, aghast, taken aback, stupefied, confused, shocked, rattled, paralyzed, dazed, bewildered, mixed up, surprised, awed, dumbfounded, nonplussed, flabbergasted, astounded, amazed, confounded, astonished, overwhelmed, horrified, numbed, speechless, and perplexed.
That’s the bear minimum.
He woke up like 5 minutes later tho
He dyed on impact.
Sorry, I've got florets
Witnesses said the encounter was within their 'eyeshot'
It’s called the Witch Tower Society.
They are cutting edge technology.
But as I got closer it flew away
Not many words rhyme with “paper”.
He was arrested when cops saw people actually letting him in.
Now that you're here, do you have a moment to talk about our Lord and Savior?
The children all lived in a nearby apartment complex. The younger siblings lived in apartment 8D and the older ones lived in apartment 9D. Detective Johnson advised Detective Smith that she probably shouldn’t bother question 8D’s children about what they saw, since they’re too young to have a reliable memory. He believed that Smith would have a better chance of getting good information from the older children, since only 9D’s kids will remember.
We have to play something other than monopoly next time
I only counted 2 crows though, so I guess it was really an attempted murder
.. but stealing someone’s soap really takes the cake.
Carrie underwood
"Yes, my master, I have."
"And a waterfall, spilling mightly over the stones without taking anything out of its proper place?"
"Yes, my master, I have witnessed it."
"And the moon, when it touches the calm water to reflect all its enormous beauty?"
"Yes, my master, I have also seen this marvelous phenomenon."
"That is the problem. You keep watching all this shit instead of training."
Passenger: Which bus are you?
Driver: I'm not a bus, I'm the driver.
It's his surprise witness.
It was a heavy bird into bear.
To be sure. I’ll let myself out.....
Does that make you an iWitness?
Witnesses were stunned, startled, aghast, taken aback, stupefied, confused, shocked, rattled, paralyzed, dazed, bewildered, mixed up, surprised, awed, dumbfounded, nonplussed, flabbergasted, astounded, amazed, confounded, astonished, overwhelmed, horrified, numbed, speechless, and perplexed.
Witnesses were stunned, startled, aghast, taken aback, stupefied, confused, shocked, rattled, paralyzed, dazed, bewildered, mixed up, surprised, awed, dumbfounded, nonplussed, flabbergasted, astounded, amazed, confounded, astonished, overwhelmed, horrified, numbed, speechless, and perplexed.
The Italians dont like any witnesses
