To be honest this is pretty demolarizing
"If they haven't yet, its probably because Amazon shipping has been delayed." I said.
As she was laughing, I shrugged. "I thought that was a good one. I just came to me," I paused, "Probably because I have Prime."
Doesn't sound very wise to me.
Because I'm full of holes and everything hurts.
[removed]
“Cause it’s killing me!”
Love him.
I told him "That's why they are called 'wisdom' teeth:because they smart!"
Dad: We have to go pick up your sister's medication on the way too.
Me: Medication? What happened to her?
Dad: She got her 2 bottom wisdom teeth removed yesterday.
Me: Ohhh alright.. Wait. Why only 2?
Dad: They didn't want to make her too stupid! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Me: ....
"Hey son, do you miss your wisdom teeth?"
"No, why would I?"
"I don't know, you just seemed pretty attached to them."
Felt like a dad when she asked for a milkshake and I walked in with a gallon of milk and said "how shaken do you want it?"
Me: "Do we have any apple sauce?"
Dad: "Yeah."
Me: "Sweet."
Dad: "No, it's the unsweetened kind."
"A know it all patient is trying to tell the surgeon how to do everything. The surgeon throws up his hands and says 'Suture yourself!'"
(Suit yourself)
Cue eye rolling from me and my mom...
Got my top two wisdom teeth taken out. I came home and my dad asked me when I was getting the bottom two taken out. I told him I didn't have to because I don't have my bottom two. He just goes "Well that's strange, I guess you are not really that smart."
Thanks Dad.
I told my family via our family Whatsapp chat group that I had just found out that one of my wisdom teeth had decided to grow horizontally into the root of the next tooth requiring both teeth to be extracted. My Dad replies with this.... https://imgur.com/a/XbGg5KB
Went into the dentist for tooth pain, was told they are going to extract my upper wisdom teeth. The receptionist scheduled me two weeks from now at 2:30.
"Huh, that's funny."
"What's funny?"
"My appointment. It's tooth hurty."
Groaning and laughter ensued.
My brother went in to discuss getting his wisdom teeth removed with his dentist. He was talking about the meeting with my parents and he got to the point about where he talked about anesthetic. He said that he was just going to have them numb the area around his teeth. Then my parents were saying that they are surprised he wasn't going under. This is where i struck, saying that "it would be foolish to go to Australia to get his teeth pulled".
Groaning ensued
The other day I witnessed the first ever dad joke to come out of my dad's mouth. He is 66.
Conversing about dental work:
Dad: "They keep telling me to get my wisdom teeth removed. I am 66."
Me: "Yeah, seems a little late for that."
Dad: "I never got wisdom teeth on this side, but I have them over here, which is probably why I am half stupid..."
I laughed immediately. It took the rest of the family a little longer to notice the dad joke.
So my wisdom teeth have been coming in lately and my dad hit my mom with this one.
Dad: Yeah I've never had any wisdom teeth
Mom: Huh?!
Me: Some people don't get their wisdo-
Dad: ALL MY TEETH WERE STUPID TEETH!
While grinning like a maniac while my mom groaned.
Me- "Mom told me that I'm getting my wisdom teeth out at the end of July"
Dad- "Does that mean you won't be as smart?"
-_-
Edit: Formatting (on mobile)
My dad and grandma were talking about his wisdom teeth.
Dad: "They've been coming in and it's been starting to hurt pretty bad within the last couple years."
Grandma: "Are you sure it's your wisdom teeth?"
Dad: "Yup, I can promise you it's the tooth and nothing but the tooth."
So my dad takes me to the dentist to have my wisdom teeth out. When I wake up from being knocked out, the nurse guides me down the hallway. To the waiting room where my dad is waiting. I'm really out of it so the nurse is having a hard time since I'm a big guy. The nurses says to my dad, "With your son being so big, what happens if he falls over?". My dad looks at her and says "I don't know about you, but I'm getting the hell out of the way!"
Me: "Am I going to get my wisdom teeth taken out any time soon?" Dad: "Probably not because you don't have any"
So my step daughter is recovering from having here wisdom teeth pulled 3 days ago.
She just asked "so how do I brush my teeth"? (Her dentist gave special instructions).
I replied "with a tooth brush".
She flips me off. God I love my kids.
My sister is getting her wisdom teeth out today, and so last night I was trying to encourage her to not worry. As anyone else who has gotten wisdom teeth out likely knows, it's tough to eat solid food for a few days, so to make her feel better:
Me: Look on the bright side! You get to lose a few pounds!
Her: You're right! These teeth weigh 2 or 3 pounds each!
Thanks Jackie.
So I'm at a meeting in work, and one of my co-workers wisdom teeth are coming in and he has the right answers to everything.
Me: You got the right answers to everything, Ivan.
Girl I work with: He's just becoming wiser.
The guy running the meeting and I start busting up laughing and everybody else groans. It was amazing.
Dad: if they take out your wisdom teeth, how will you graduate college?
"Does your face hurt? 'Cause its killin' me!"
