“Hey Watson, is that mud on your boots?”
“No, shit, Sherlock.”
Cop: I’m arresting you for illegally downloading the entire Wikipedia!
Man: Wait, I can explain everything!
What do you call a piece of tube-shaped pasta that watched too much anime?
Arigatoni.
I am my father's son.
I asked what my sister was listening to, she says "LeAnn Rimes" and I says "with what?"
