Mom was talking about her friend who's up in Canada taking care of her mom with Esophageal cancer.
Dad: Wow, I bet that diagnosis was hard to swallow!
He's light-years ahead of the competition now.
Terrible joke, only 3 stars.
Edit: I've been told there is a triple star system and a binary pair so it may be 6 star joke
... is it called an Edison?
A man gets a new job at the zoo.
On his first day, he still doesn't really understand what exactly he's meant to do, just that it involves the Gorillas. He goes and checks in and the manager sits him down to explain.
"Now look," says the manager, "We've been having some troubles lately with our gorilla. He was acting up, getting really agitated with the environment, so we had to send him away. We told the people that enclosure's being repaired, but we're actually looking for a new gorilla - can you do it for us?"
The man is unsure, but he needs the money, so he agrees, puts on a gorilla suit and goes out there. At first he's a bit mopey, so he sits around a lot.
After a couple of days he begins to warp up and eats a couple of bananas and wanders around a little.
Over the course of the next few weeks he becomes progressively more outgoing, moving around, playing in the jungle gym, hollering around and beating his chest. He's a big hit and everything's going really well for him, until one day he's on his monkey bars and getting really into it, but he slips and flies through the air, over the pit, clears the fence and lands in a pile of bushes in the next enclosure.
He is just beginning to pick himself up, when out of the corner of his eye, he sees something in the foliage.
A pair of eyes lock with his.
It moves closer.
He knows this is it.
He begins to pray.
Suddenly the creature leaps and tackles him - the biggest, ugliest lion he's ever seen!
It leans in close.
He can see every gleaming tooth in it's mouth
He can smell the lion's breath
It opens it's mouth
And from inside the lion he hears a whisper.
"Make this good or we'll both lose our jobs."
A warp party.
He must have it in his Genes.
But seriously check out his Star Trek track listings. The guy loves a good pun.
Star Trek
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Star Trek
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Nailin' The Kelvin
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Labor Of Love
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Hella Bar Talk
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Enterprising Young Men
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Nero Sighted
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Nice To Meld You
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Run And Shoot Offense
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Does It Still McFly?
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Nero Death Experience
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Nero Fiddles, Narada Burns
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Back From Black
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That New Car Smell
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To Boldly Go
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End Credits
Star Trek Into Darkness
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Logos / Pranking The Natives
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Spock Drops, Kirk Jumps
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Sub Prime Directive
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London Calling
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Meld-Merized
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The Kronos Wartet
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Brigadoom
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Ship To Ship
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Earthbound And Down
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Warp Core Values
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Buying The Space Farm
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The San Fran Hustle
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Kirk Enterprises
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Star Trek Main Theme
Star Trek Beyond
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Logo and Prosper
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Thank Your Lucky Star Date
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Night on the Yorktown
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The Dance of the Nebula
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A Swarm Reception
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Hitting the Saucer a Little Hard
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Jaylah Damage
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In Artifacts as in Life
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Franklin, My Dear
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A Lesson in Vulcan Mineralogy
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MotorCycles of Relief
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Mocking Jaylah
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Crash Decisions
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Krall-y Krall-y Oxen Free
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Shutdown Happens
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Cater-Krall in Zero G
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Par-tay for the Course
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Star Trek Main Theme
