Volumnia counting her son’s wounds aa soon as he steps through the door from a long war
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πŸ‘€︎ u/petruschin
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
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"Action is eloquence." β€”Volumnia in Coriolanus
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Masonlevyofficial
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2019
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Blind Girl Here. Give Me Your Best Blind Jokes!

Do your worst!

πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Leckzsluthor
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2022
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Dropped my best ever dad joke & no one was around to hear it

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies πŸ˜‚

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vegetable-Acadia
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2022
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What starts with a W and ends with a T

It really does, I swear!

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PsychedeIic_Sheep
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2022
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This subreddit is 10 years old now.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/frexyincdude
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2022
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What is a a bisexual person doing when they’re not dating anybody?

They’re on standbi

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Toby-the-Cactus
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2022
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What do you call quesadillas you eat in the morning?

Buenosdillas

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FarronKeepSucks
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2022
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Geddit? No? Only me?
πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shampy311
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2021
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I wanna hear your best airplane puns.

Pilot on me!!

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Paulie_Felice
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2022
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E or ß?
πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Amazekam
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2022
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No spoilers
πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Onfour
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2022
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i Karenough to
πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Amazekam
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2022
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Covid problems
πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/theincrediblebou
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2022
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These aren't dad jokes...

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lance986
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2021
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I had a vasectomy because I didn’t want any kids.

When I got home, they were still there.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/demotrek
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2022
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What did 0 say to 8 ?

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/designjeevan
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2022
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Spi__
πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fast_Echidna_8520
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2022
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I dislike karma whores who make posts that imply it's their cake day, simply for upvotes.

I won't be doing that today!

πŸ‘︎ 15k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/djcarves
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2021
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The Ancient Romans II
πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mordrathe
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2021
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How do you stop Canadian bacon from curling in your frying pan?

You take away their little brooms

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Majorpain2006
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2022
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