This guy always makes vegetable puns, i wonder what's tomato with him
Vegetable puns are great!
My kids and I are in search of some fresh vegetables puns.
I have a really good vegetable pun
I’d tell you but I’m worried you’d think it’s too corny
I'm looking for some vegetable puns
if you think of any lettuce know
Bad vegetable puns don’t produce laughter.
It’s a rotten experience.
Plz halp, I need as many vegetable puns as possible ASAP, the epic vegetable pun battle of the century is now being waged and I am quickly running out of ammo while the enemy shows no signs of retreat
You're about half as likely to die from a vegetable pun
BREAKING: North Korean Leader in vegetative state following surgery.
They're going to start calling him Kim Jong Un-Responsive
You need to stop talking to me about vegetables.
What’s the fanciest outfit a vegetable can wear ?
"Egg-plant" shirt by me. Never got why the vegetable was called that until I found out that they used to be white and look like goose eggs back in the day
What's the best vegetable at standing in a line?
What do you call a vegetable grown in Russia?
What’s president Obama’s favorite vegetable?
What's the most hated vegetable in the world?
What’s the best vegetable to have around when you get a flat tire?
I'm really happy with my vegetable patch.
I haven't wanted a vegetable in weeks.
My friend Jack claims that he can communicate with vegetables.
What's Bruno Mars favorite vegetable trick?
Being a plumber and out of work because of the lockdown I've started my own vegetable patch.
It's going really well and I've just noticed my first leek!
My nephew just started eating vegetables
It salad that never Ceasar's to amaze me.
Lately, I’ve grown increasingly apathetic towards eating vegetables
Some days, I just don’t carrot all
My 4 year old daughter’s first dad joke...Why did the dinosaur eat vegetables and fruit?
Because he didn’t like sour mice.
How do you know priests like vegetables?
Because they always say: “peas be with you”.
What do you call a vegetable grown in a brothel?
What vegetable is the most confusing?
I was chopping vegetables for dinner
But then I saw the pizza burning so I had to cut it short.
Which vegetables are best at fundraising?
When Kim Jong Un returns from the vegetative state, can we call him Slim Jong Un ???
What’s a drummers favorite vegetable?
What vegetable is only a little bit cool?
What's a body builders favorite vegetable?
Due to COVID-19 a grocery store started paying its employees in vegetables
Which vegetable is best to strangle an artist with?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables...
What does a humanitarian eat?
What do you call Kim Jong Un in a vegetative state?
What's the best vegetable to have in your car if you have a flat tire?
Which vegetable is the most qualified?
I bought some stocks from vegetable companies.
I stole my sister's vegetables
I was just trying to stop her from getting herpes
What do you called a vegetable-based fortune telling card?
What vegetable isnt allowed on cruise ships?
My buddy gets all the girls. I watched him work once. He approached a lady and said, "girl, you remind me of a thick, creamy beverage made from raw fruit, vegetables, and sometimes dairy products, typically pureed using a blender!"
He's such a smoothie talker.
What should you do if you drop a root vegetable face down?
You can't throw out vegetables
What's the vegetable's favourite part of the song?
Her: Honey, should we buy some vegetables for tonight?
Most people know some peanuts are assaulted, but do you know which vegetable did it?
What's one vegetable you should NEVER bring on a boat?
LEEKS.
(my 10yo told me this - he said he thought it up himself.)
What type of vegetable tries to be cool, but is only partly successful at is?
What do you call a depressed vegetable
Where does Thor grow his vegetables?
Who is the best kung fu vegetable?
What is the executioner’s favorite vegetable?
What do you call a vegetable planted at a whore house?
My dad made his first dad joke in a long time
For context: we have a vegetable garden and a dog named Max
During dinner, my mom remarked how her stir fry was made almost entirely out of vegetables from our garden except the eggs, to which my dad said “well then we’ll just have to raise some chickens.”
I reply, “well what about Max?”, implying that he might attack the chickens.
And without hesitation my dad replies, “well he can’t lay eggs”
What vegetable can be used as a weapon in prison?
Why did the vegetable want a pay raise?
Because he wanted a bigger celery. And maybe even a stock option
I got a job at a farm where I got paid in vegetables.
My brother and I are trying to come up with an extensive list of vegetable related puns
Lettuce know if you have any
What do you call sad vegetables?
Even though I insisted there was no need for repatriation, my neighbour has just brought round a root vegetable in exchange for the reading material I gave them.
So thats a turnip for the books.
Whats the hardest part about eating a vegetable?
Vegetable Buddies
Which vegetable is most likely to be your friend?
The bro- ccoli.
Found at the grocery store
What do you call a pastor who wanders from town to town, looking for leafy green vegetables?
A romaine Catholic priest.
What is a DJs favorite vegetable?
A carrot and his wife are walking home from a party late at night and he gets hit by a car.
Mrs. Carrot takes him to the ER and after a day of surgery, the doctor steps out and says, "Mrs. Carrot, I have good news and I have bad news. The good news is, we saved your husband. The bad news is, he's going to be a vegetable the rest of his life."
My wife said I only eat white tasteless vegetables...
Someone asked if I were the black man that makes the "Hope" brand of vegetables.
Did you hear about that show that tests the listening skills of vegetables?
Its tests the ears of its corn-testants
What is Thanos' favorite vegetable?
A vegan said to me that people who sell meat are disgusting. I said to him people who sell vegetables are Grocer!
I must confess that I've started stealing vegetables from the local grocery...
I can't help it! I get to the store and I have to take a leek!
Where do vegetable children go when they've been bad?
What did the vegetable say at the party?
My brother turned into a vegetable.
I guess now he has fryngers and potatoes.
I’ve recently designed a miniature IoT smart kitchen implement for straining vegetables. It’s a source of much discussion and argument between people in the culinary world.
You could say my creation is a little device-seive.
Have you heard the new song from the band that entirely consists of vegetables?
What are a submissive's favorite vegetables?
What do you call it when vegetables have siblings?
I'd tell you about a girl that eats nothing but vegetables
But I'm sure you've herbivore
What do you call the Commander of a vegetable army?
A kernel.
Sorry guys, a bit corny that one.
My mum was putting away a container of raspberries and remarked that is was leaking
I said "Maybe you should put it in the vegetable drawer"
wanna hear a vegetable joke?
never mind, i don’t think your mom will lettuce hear it
Why didn't the cannibal eat the guy with no legs ?
Because he was lacktoes intolerant
After my failed attempt at growing vegetables this year, I've decided to become a music producer.
I've got a ton of sick beets.
TIL Jack can communicate with vegetables...
Jack and the beans talk...
I have a friend named Jack that can talk to vegetables.
Jack and the beans talk!!!
What is the best kung fu vegetable?
What vegetable is kind of cool?
What’s the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?
What’s Michelle Obama’s favorite vegetable ?
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