Every morning, I wake up to find someone has dumped a box of play doh in front of my door.

I don’t know what to make of it.

πŸ‘︎ 73
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2020
🚨︎ report
For the past few days, I wake up to see someone has dumped a bunch of LEGO blocks on my front porch.

I don’t know what to make of it.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2020
🚨︎ report
I woke up this morning and found that someone has dumped a bunch of celery on my front porch.

I think I’m being stalked.

πŸ‘︎ 106
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2020
🚨︎ report
β€œFrom a neighbor who posts dad jokes on little signs in his front yard. Started during the isolation to cheer up the community”

β€œCOVID19 DAY20

Ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon.

I’ll let you know”

πŸ‘︎ 87
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/zomida
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2020
🚨︎ report
What would you do if your bathroom suite turned up at the front door?

Just let that sink in...

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Datolite7
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2020
🚨︎ report
I paid off my new limousine up front, but now I can't afford to hire a driver. So much money spent.

And nothing to chauffeur it.

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KairuSmairukon
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2020
🚨︎ report
A woman is running up the front stairs of a church. She asks the boy sitting at the top, "Is mass out?" The little boy looks at her and says...

"No, but your hat's on crooked."

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sineofthetimes
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Why does an ambulance have two seats up front? πŸš‘ For the Pair Of Medics
πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Inquivious
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2020
🚨︎ report
I was queuing up to get into the supermarket yesterday. Dwayne Johnson was in front of me. Behind me was a fish holding the trolley above his head!

I was between The Rock and a hard Plaice

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Cyryoonake
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2020
🚨︎ report
So I was driving uber tonight and I picked up a girl from the dorms at UNCW. She sat in the front and we were chatting when suddenly she sneezed.... Now. I didn't realize it while talking, but she had a glass eye, and when she sneezed her glass eye came flying out at me.

I caught it, handed it back to her and she popped it in and said thank you. I didn't know what else to say...

So, we rode in silence for the rest of the trip until we got to the bar. When we arrived at the bar, she turned and asked if she could have my number. I was flattered because she was so pretty, but I told her I was happily engaged.

She smiled at me and said, "That's a shame, you really caught my eye."

πŸ‘︎ 45
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/izzy10200
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2019
🚨︎ report
A rabbit used to come up to my front yard every day for food, but hasn’t shown up in a week.

Now it’s just some bunny I used to know.

πŸ‘︎ 186
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2019
🚨︎ report
During my trip to Madrid I was staying at this small motel when I grew pretty ill. Thankfully the people at the front desk sent the on call doctor over and he was able to fix me up real quick. I told him I didn't expect such a small place to have such a good doctor, to which he told me

Nobody expects the Spanish Inn Physician

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RKO-Cutter
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2019
🚨︎ report
On a hot summer day, a woman has a hankering for a hot dog. She walks to the nearest hot dog stand and gets in line. Looking up to the front of the queue, she sees an elderly gentleman ordering a bratwurst...

He picks up the ketchup bottle, glances at it and gives a hearty chuckle before slathering his brat in ketchup.

Puzzled, the woman watches as the next customer, a young girl, walks up to order her hot dog.

As she takes the container of relish, she bursts into a fit of giggles and walks off with her food, still laughing merrily.

A middle-aged man steps up next. Shoveling sauerkraut onto his hot dog, he laughs uproariously and walks away grinning.

When she reaches the front of the line, the woman asks the hot dog vendor,

β€œExcuse me, sir, but why does everyone laugh when they get their hot dogs?”

β€œIt’s simple, ma’am.” he says, handing her a piping-hot sausage. β€œI’m surprised you haven’t discovered for yourself.”

Glancing at the mustard, the woman lets loose a peal of laughter.

β€œYa see, ma’am? The real_joke’s always in the condiments!"

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2019
🚨︎ report
A sink walked up to the front door of a family's home, knocked, and asked to be let in.

Son: "woah, what the hell, that's a walking, knocking, talking sink, like what is that, can they even do that?"

Father: "of course they can, son. For centuries. Millennia even. They lay dormant for years at a time and then reanimate every once in a while to go somewhere new. "

Son: " I literally had no idea, that's insane, Dad."

Father: "pretty crazy, right? Now let that sink in."

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hyptian
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2019
🚨︎ report
Growing up, my brothers and I weren't allowed to sit in the front of the car

We were the back seat boys

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Chakasicle
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2019
🚨︎ report
My dad said you should always be up front with everyone...

Great man, terrible goalkeeper...

πŸ‘︎ 300
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a snake pressed up against the front glass of a car?

A windshield viper.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/2donutkid2
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Every morning I wake up to find hundreds of flowers without heads sitting on my front door.

I think I’m being stalked.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2018
🚨︎ report
Another Dad cut in front of me in the after school pick up line

It really pissed me off. So the next day I got there early and taught his kid how to ride a bike.

And you can never get that back

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SykoKilla_ii
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2018
🚨︎ report
A man opened up his front door...

and then he entered the house!!

(it's ok if you don't laugh- it's a bit of an inside joke.)

πŸ‘︎ 39
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/do_0b
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2017
🚨︎ report
What do you call blondes lining up in front of the grill at a pork roast?

A Barbie-Queue.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dirtytom
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2015
🚨︎ report
Friend had a tie on in front of a fan. He kept saying "go up for the selfie", to which I replied ....

I think you need Tiagra. TIE-AGRA. HAHAHAHA SOMEONE KILL ME.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2014
🚨︎ report
Every morning after I wake up, I find that someone has dumped a bunch of LEGO on my front porch.

I don’t know what to make of it.

πŸ‘︎ 55
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2020
🚨︎ report
I woke up this morning and found that someone dumped a bunch of legos on my front door step.

I don’t know what to make of it.

πŸ‘︎ 395
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2019
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.