So, on Sunday my wife and I were making stir fry for lunch after church. I chopped up some flank steak and test fried a piece in the wok, pulled it out, cut it in two, and we each tried a piece to see how it tasted (in case it needed more ginger or garlic or oyster sauce). This conversation happened.
My wife: (enjoying the flavor) How do couples where one person is a vegetarian handle meals?
Me: I guess the man has a help meet for him like Adam.
Her: I'm being serious, how do they do it.
Me: I know, right? People get married for lots of carnal knowledge.
Her: (annoyed) All kidding aside, I'm curious how people make that work.
Me: Give me some time to flesh out my argument, and I'm sure I can find a couple that hasn't butchered their relationship.
"Why is the ghost ship always lost? Because it has a skeleton crew!"
"How do you repair a broken jack-o-lantern? A pumpkin patch!"
"What do gay cows eat? HHAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYY"
I didn't knoe what to say and he just left.
As a dad/bartender, this is one of my favorite dadjokes.
Did you hear about the woman who had to have her whole left side amputated? It was touch-and-go for a while but she's all right now.
She had her name changed to Ilene though. And she had to get a new job at IHOP.
(Talking about the differences between generations)
Grandma: What generation am I in then?
Me: I don't know, the old fart generation?
Grandma: Well, sometimes I make new farts too.
The mother says, "Hey everyone, look at that. Isn't that amazing?" The father, unimpressed, replies, "It's just an algorithm".
But she just kept saying I had too much baggage.
Making breakfast, say to my fiancée "I'm making puncakes, I think you'd batter have some." After she rolled her eyes at me, I complete the trifecta with "sorry, I do waffle on some times"
