Did you know that Fruit of the Loom (TM) once took Hanes(TM) to court?

It was a BRIEF case.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BastetLXIX
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
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This is the OG fanta(TM)stick
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FrokoFroderik
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2019
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What US state won't ever have to wear Depends^TM when it gets old?

Hawai'i - because it's not incontinent /original?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AbelianCommuter
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2017
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And she calls it "This Land"

Having a bit of a discipline issue with my daughter... she'll bring a pile of sand inside and make what she calls her "land". It's sand arranged in a flattish layer, with toy animals and her lego house (Friends^TM , why she no like diggers and helicopters and whatever, why she gotta be so girly??). She doesn't like getting her hand dirty while she's doing it, wears a glove to keep clean, so you'd think she could understand the concept that I don't like the floor getting dirty... but no, she doesn't give a shit.

Had her third birthday party recently, and gave her a Skye (Paw Patrol) plushy, she loves it. Because it's her newest and most favourite toy in the whole world, and because it was for her birthday, we can't confiscate it no matter what.

Very next day, she makes her land again, Skye's there at the side - she's too big to sit in the middle, it would dominate all the plastic dinosaurs and lego Friends people (not the usual mini-figs, they're a bit more anatomically correct, anyway that's not important right now). So I'm all angry and "why you keep doing this", take the glove off her and sweep up the sand. Put her in the time out cage for a bit. Well, we call it the cage, it's just a cupboard under the stairs which is a bit shorter than her so she has to sit there if she doesn't want to bump her head. Throw her in there for one minute per year of age, is the standard procedure.

Anyway, as we close the door she starts singing...

Take my glove

Take my land

Take me where I cannot stand

I don't care

I'm still three

You can't take this Skye from me

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cman_yall
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2021
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Got my girlfriend with this earlier

we're heading through grocery store checkout. She looks over at the candies and says

"Ooh! Mentos!"

"I already have Mentos."

"Really? Where?"

"On my men feet!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sauron1209
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2018
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I just stumbled on this subreddit, and I'd like explain why (from an outsider's perspective) this sort of thing is not my cup of tea.

It's because this is my cup of tea.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/aspacecodyssey
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2015
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My dad died in 2004, we still get calls for him at times.

this happened a few years ago. It's about my dad and something my dad would have laughed hard at.

phone rings I pick up

me: Hello

TeleMarketer: Hello is Mr ThrashandBurn's Dad available?

Me: ahhhh no he isn't

TM: do you know a better way to reach him?

with out hesitation

ME: Not unless you got a shovel.

I could hear him holding back his laugh wile trying to give his condolences.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThrashAndBurn
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2014
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My daughter keeps getting mad that I use her Anna and Elsa bowl

I told her I need it to keep my ice cream Frozen^TM

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MarkovManiac
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2018
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In Israel, when a basketball player makes a shot without hitting the backboard or the rim, it's traditional to have some chocolate drink.

It's called "Nothing but Netanyahu".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/edhere
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2017
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