I need Monet
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gamergod4now
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2020
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Monet and the Nose

A painting by Claude Monet was recently discovered. It's an illustration of a man's nose. The museum decided to title it Mon Nez

Explanation :

Mon and nez are respectively French for my and nose. If one pronounces mon and nez correctly, and rapidly, it sounds a bit like Monet (mo-nénè)

Edit: I made an error with the accents; chose aigu (Γ©) instead of grave (Γ¨)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SteadfastDrifter
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2018
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I would pay serious Monet for this
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sati1984
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2019
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I hear they're putting all of Claude Monet's paintings in a free gallery

They're de-monet-ising his work.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BearryBonds
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2019
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Monet never liked his cat Oscar

Because Oscar Claude Monet

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gareththegood
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2018
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At the art museums today, looking at a Monet exhibit, my dad said "these paintings are priceless..."

"They must cost a lot of Monet!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hornwalker
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2017
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Just saw Mark Knopfler walking down the Road...

He was carrying a 19th century French masterpiece under his arm and a cage with 2 baby birds in his hand.

I asked how much they were and he said, "I got my Monet for nothing and the Chicks for free".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/adfunk101
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2021
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Why did the art thief’s van run out of gas as he drove away from the museum?

Because he had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OwenJthomas89
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2021
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I want to open a sandwich shop called Salvador DelΓ­

We’ll specialize in melts.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IceCoolBrutus
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2020
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Dude, where’s my
πŸ‘︎ 18k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Marcus-Prince
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2019
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What's the definition of Baroque?

When you run out of Monet

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PrettyPeeved
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
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How do you figure out what videos won’t be monetized?

You have to hop back and forth, figure out what works, kinda like DDR; you have to play an alga-rhythm game.

Please don’t shun me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chiraux
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2017
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I can’t afford expensive art

I have no monet.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/eormada
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2020
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Collecting Impressionist art is a pricey hobby.

It requires a lot of monet.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2020
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Why was the art restorer sent to prison?

He was a Monet launderer.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ivegot_back
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2020
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I had a YouTube channel where I talked about famous painters, but YouTube took it down

I've been de-Monet-tized.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrDobble
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2020
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Why didn’t the family go to the Louvre?

The didn’t have the Monet to get Degas to make the Van Gogh!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/garboooge
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2019
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My friend is weirdly addicted to going to museums and kissing Impressionist paintings.

He puts his Monet where his mouth is.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2019
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I would have won the art contest

But it ended in a draw.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GotMyOrangeCrush
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2019
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I decided to quit my job and become a museum curator, but to be honest

I'm just doing it for the Monet

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NeerCrimson
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2019
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I think she Handeled it well
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Yoshesh
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2018
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A thief attempted to steal paintings from the Louvre in Paris...

But was captured two blocks away when his van ran out of gas. All he could say for himself was β€œI had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh. But I tried anyway because I had nothing Toulouse!”

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πŸ“…︎ May 17 2019
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I’m not sure why my friend quit his perfume making business and started hoarding old paintings.

He’s got more Monet than scents.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2019
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I was trying to think of the artist who painted The Water Lily Pond.

But I just can't remember him for love nor Monet.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xz03yx
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2018
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What did the treasure hunt organizer say when people couldn't find the impressionist painter he'd hidden?

That wasn't very cache Monet of you.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Weirfish
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2019
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Why couldn't the art forger pay his rent?

Because he didn't make any Monet.

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2018
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Did you hear about the gold digger who married a rich art collector?

She was just in it for the Monet

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Feral1991
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2017
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Dreamt I was running in France...

Eiffel.

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2015
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Paul McCartney grew irritated that he couldn't purchase a call girl with impressionist paintings

He said, "I don't care too much for Monet. Monet can't buy me love."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Socrathustra
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2017
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My friend just dad joked me.

So we were going to see an Impressionist exhibit at the art museum and my friend, in her best Jerry Maguire voice, goes "Show me the Monet!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fowlerbaby123
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2014
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At a museum with my friend's family

At a museum with my friend's family when I was looking at a sculpture by Edgar Degas. My friend's dad walks up to me and goes "Hey, this is one of the 3 guys who tried to rob The Louvre". I looked at him confused before he continued "Yeah, luckily they couldn't get away because they ran out of Monet, so they couldn't get Degas to make the Van Gogh".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VinLi11
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2013
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How did the art thief get caught?

He didn't have the Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kevo31415
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2013
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