What's the weakest part of Tiger Woods game?

Driving

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Light-Insight
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2021
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How did the police find all the missing wood from the lumber yard?

It was chipped.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Yeoshua82
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2021
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A father and son were sitting in the woods.

Son: Dad, do trees poop?

Dad: Of course son, how do you think we get #2 pencils.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/beek77
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2021
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I put a piece of wood in my garage and came back the next day and there were two pieces. The day after 4 and the day after that 8!

It was multi-ply wood

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Justlikeyourmoma
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2021
🚨︎ report
A priest in the woods has been attacked by a pack of wolves. In a moment of desperation, the priest started to ask God how to get out of this situation.

The wolves may be predators but he pray

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MegaFamous
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2021
🚨︎ report
Why do you want to sleep in the woods?

Forrest

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DeathBirdie
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2021
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True story: So we were out today and sat at a table for some food. My 4yo asked what the holes and and notches were in the wood and my wife says β€œthey are knot holes”.

Miss4 says β€œif they are not holes, what are they?”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DannyGere
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2021
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I'm building my own guitar, but every time I look at the wood I've bought for it, I get overwhelmed by anxiety about how it will turn out.

I shouldn't have started with the fretboard.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/arrenlex
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2021
🚨︎ report
There was a lumberjack who moonlighted as a serial killer. He used wood chippers to dispose of the bodies, which is why he was so prolific.

Every once in a while, these guys come out of the woodwork.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2021
🚨︎ report
Every time the camper heard something rustle in the woods he shouted, "It's a grizzly!"

Guess he was a bit bearanoid.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Deejaydoug
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2020
🚨︎ report
My dad told me he met that famous actor on his walk in the woods.

Huge axeman

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
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A guy is walking through the woods one day when he comes across a suitcase. He takes a look inside, only to find a fox and her cubs. So he calls the ASPCA and tells the woman who answers what he’s found...

She says, β€œOh, that’s horrible. Are they moving?”

The guy replies, β€œI don’t know, but that would explain the suitcase.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s the scariest wood?

BAM! BOO!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TagMeWhenAliens
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Walk in the woods

Two guys are walking through a forest when they come across a lamppost. The first guy turns to the second and says "Whats a lamppost doing out in the middle of knowhere" and the second replies. "That's Narnia business"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SirFallsAlot32
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
🚨︎ report
A woodcutter once decided to build his own motor bike. He used wood for the frame, wood for the engine, wood for the brakes, and even a wooden gas tank.

Did he ride it? No. It wooden start

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πŸ‘€︎ u/_methematician
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2020
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How did the crazy people find their way out of the woods ?

They followed the psycho path

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2020
🚨︎ report
If a tree falls in the woods and nobody hears it

It means my illegal logging business is a success

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πŸ‘€︎ u/taylorgs12
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Two lumberjacks were cutting wood. One of them shouted at the other over the noise of the chainsaw, β€œWhat was the name of that tree ring dating app you were using?”

The other replied, β€œTiiiiimmmber!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pippingigi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
🚨︎ report
What's the spookiest type of wood?

Bam-boo!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/buttengine
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2020
🚨︎ report
I am sure someone has posted this one before, but, since I haven’t seen it, here goes! What did the wood screw say to the machine screw?

Wow! Those are some fine lookin’ threads, brotha!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pippingigi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2020
🚨︎ report
What's the best way to carve wood ?

Whittle by whittle

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2020
🚨︎ report
I saw a great deal online for a 'Replica Rolex' for only $50. I just opened the box and found it is completely made of wood...

To make matters worse, it is covered with a dark circular imperfection in the wood grain. I won't accept this - knot on my watch.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2020
🚨︎ report
I walked into a bank, pointed a long, thin piece of wood at the ceiling and shouted…

"This is a stick up!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Two travelers are lost in the woods when they come across a man lying in their path.
         One says, β€œWe’re saved! We can ask him for directions!” His friend, however, had a somber expression on his face.
          β€œDoesn’t something seem off to you about this man?” he replies, gesturing to the figure lying prostrate on the road before them.
          β€œWhat do you mean?” said the first, confusion splayed across his features.
          β€œI mean we can’t trust a thing he says. He’s a pathological lier.”
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ForestValkyrie
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2020
🚨︎ report
He wood've turned out great too, had he not turned to the other side
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πŸ‘€︎ u/i_like_miniwheats
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Why can’t you cook wood on the stove?

Because it’s a non-stick pan...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/d__n__a
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2020
🚨︎ report
What wood be the problem?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/M-3-R-C-U-R-Y
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you find your dog if it's lost in the woods?

Put your ear up to a tree and listen for the bark!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlankPhotos
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2020
🚨︎ report
A lumberjack went into a magic forest to gather wood. As he found the perfect tree to cut down, he began sharpening his axe, and the tree exclaimed, β€œNO! Don’t chop me down! I’m a talking tree!”

The lumberjack responded, β€œAnd you will dialogue.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/articElite0
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a man looking for his wife in the woods?

A dear hunter.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/revenges_captain
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2020
🚨︎ report
I think my friend who owns the apiary got into some poison ivy or something during a hike in the woods...

He has hives.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2020
🚨︎ report
I was hiking with my friend in the woods and bear attacked him

It was unbearable to watch

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PanDzikipan
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the blonde walk into a bank with a bag full of shredded wood?

She wanted to open a shavings account.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2020
🚨︎ report
People sometimes ask why I like going to the woods

Forest

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πŸ‘€︎ u/invisible_being
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2020
🚨︎ report
The Wood Glue I just bought doesn't stick.

I guess I got the wouldn't glue instead.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rewind44
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2019
🚨︎ report
I was going to take a hike in the woods today but realized tick season is starting

and I like my Corona without Lyme.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/themissamos
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2020
🚨︎ report
What was the disobedient beaver’s favorite kind of wood?

Knotty pine

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πŸ‘€︎ u/n07myusername
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2020
🚨︎ report
I walked into a bank, pointed a long, thin piece of wood at the ceiling and shouted…

"This is a stick up!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Why couldn't I fry wood on the stove?

I used a non-stick pan.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dead---inside
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2020
🚨︎ report
How do crazy people get through the woods?

They take the psycho path.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fingadod
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2019
🚨︎ report

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