A lot of the jokes on this sub are just terrible, but at the end of the day...
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︎ Apr 20 2021
Seems like he brings a lot to the table XD
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︎ May 28 2021
A lot of people canβt tell the difference between entomology and etymology.
I canβt find the words for how much this bugs me.
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︎ Apr 26 2021
A lot of people say the me and my older brother look alike
I agree because I have his jeans
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︎ May 23 2021
Did you hear about the guy who had lots of phone sex?
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︎ May 20 2021
UFO's have been in the news a lot lately but no one seems to care.
Frankly, I think it must be over most people's heads.
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︎ May 18 2021
What reptile uses the phone a lot?
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︎ Apr 11 2021
A lot of conflicts in the Wild West could have been avoided....
....had the Cowboy architects just made their towns big enough for everyone.
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︎ May 02 2021
My son grows a lot of fur and manufactures products of art or craft on nights when the moon is full...
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︎ Apr 28 2021
Jay Leno went to Morgan Freemanβs house and had a lot of drinks. Leno suddenly started to urinate on Freemanβs carpet. Freeman was furious and ran after him as he kept on urinating. The banker next door saw the whole thing and decided to start a bank...
Kids, that is the true story of how Jay-pee-Morgan-chase was named
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︎ Apr 30 2021
If you change word "Love" to "Lunch", you can totally change the meaning of a lot of songs.
All You Need Is Lunch
Do You Believe In Life After Lunch
Lunch In An Elevator
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︎ Jan 23 2021
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "You are in here a lot, do you think you have a drinking problem?"
The horse says, "I don't think so," then disappears into nothing.
This is the point in time when all the philosophy students in the audience begin to giggle, as they are familiar with the philosophical proposition of Cogito ergo sum, or I think, therefore, I am. The classic philosophy put forward by RenΓ© Descartes.
But to explain the concept aforehand would be putting Descartes before the horse.
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︎ Sep 05 2020
My wife uses nasal spray a lot, to the point we think she is addicted to it. I tried to send her to rehab, but she didn't like it.
She said it was just a bunch of stuffy people.
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︎ Mar 21 2021
What do you call a truck driver who knows a lot about the truck but can't read or write fluently?
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︎ Apr 05 2021
I found out the other day that the flying spaghetti monster has a lot of anxiety.
I guess he suffers from impasta syndrome
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︎ Mar 28 2021
There's a lot of different ways to depict Jesus, but I always think of him up on the cross
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︎ Mar 08 2021
What is the best month to drink a lot of beer?
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︎ Feb 01 2021
I use a lot of the jokes from here, but I always tell folks where I got them.
Just giving cReddit where it's due.
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︎ Dec 29 2020
Youβll do a lot of dumb things in your youth, son, and thatβs okay, because most of the consequences wonβt follow you into adulthood. But you know what will always come back to haunt you?
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︎ Mar 15 2021
With the A380, Airbus really had a lotβ¦
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︎ Mar 22 2021
Why do a lot of nurses go to college at the North Pole?
Itβs where the Icy U is
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︎ Feb 23 2021
I went to my best friend's wedding today. He is an awesome fisher. I like him a lot and always come with the finest catch.
But something is very fishy with his new betrouthed.
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︎ Feb 16 2021
I owe a lot to the sidewalks. Theyβve been keeping me off the streets for years.
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︎ Jan 01 2021
I've decided to start storing everything in the Cloud, and it's a lot easier than you'd think
Although I'm still not sure how exactly I'm supposed to get anything back down... I guess I'll just have to wait until the balloons pop to use my TV again.
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︎ Feb 10 2021
What do you call someone from Florida with lots of teeth who likes to spend money on the stock market?
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︎ Jan 14 2021
The US Navy will start to equip all their subs with emotional support dogs. After a lot study, they decided on Dachshunds...
...they will be subma-weiners.
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︎ Oct 24 2020
I found a $20 bill in the parking lot of the grocery store. I asked myself, what would Jesus do?
So I turned it into wine.
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︎ Oct 19 2020
Im gonna tell my kids that the Titanic was carrying a lot of mayonnaise
And that it sunk on the 5th of May which is why we commemorate the Sinko de Mayo
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︎ Jan 05 2021
Dad to Son: "Have you heard about the new online game that's just been released that's heaps popular and getting a lot of press?
Son: "What's it called?"
Dad: "Month."
Son: "Huh?"
Dad: "Apparently it's twice as good as Fortnite".
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︎ Sep 28 2020
I was supposed to park on the east side of the lot...
...but I occidentally parked on the west
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︎ Oct 25 2020
In a field with lots of sheep and lambs roaming around, a giant wolf appeared and swallowed whole a baby lamb. The lamb whined and yelped nonstop for hours on end. After a while the wolf started getting sick, and yet the lamb yelped and whined ever louder.
Finally the wolf died and the baby lamb walked out of the wolf and rejoined itβs momma in the flock of sheep. Turns out the wolf died of internal bleating.
All credit goes to my coworker.
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︎ Dec 09 2020
A lot of people are shocked by the recent events in NASCAR
What is often characterized as a very conservative organization has taken a stance against racism. I'm not surprised at all though. To anyone who's been paying attention, from its very beginnings, NASCAR has always been veering to the left.
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︎ Jun 22 2020
The ancient Romans made a lot of deadly poisons. The fourth one they created, however, just made people itchy.
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︎ Nov 26 2020
I just drove my new car out of the lot only to find the reverse gear broken.
Thereβs no going back now.
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︎ Sep 27 2020
People have a lot of time to get creative in the quarantine
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︎ Apr 15 2020
There was an old hermit who lived in a cave and walked a lot, but didn't have shoes. He also didn't have the greatest health and had really bad breath. They called him the:
Super Calloused Fragile Mystic Plagued with Halitosis.
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︎ Jul 20 2020
My 3yo is in a phase where he makes up words a lot, and today I heard him singing "Crotch-ohs, crotch-ohs" over and over. I told my wife, "That sounds like the worst breakfast cereal ever..."
"But at least it's made with whole groins."
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︎ Oct 12 2020
I don't think she brings a lot to the table.
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︎ Jul 22 2020
So, in the Bible, Lot's daughters got him drunk and had sex with him, ultimately getting pregnant...
I bet Lot's wife was salty when she found out.
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︎ Aug 06 2020
What do you call the love between two people that never engage in sexual activity and love eating a lot?
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︎ Sep 04 2020
I was backing out of the parking lot earlier when I backed into a car! The driver was only 3 feet tall....!
He got out of the car and started waving his hands above his head! He kept yelling "I'm not Happy, I'm not Happy!"
So, I got out and yelled back, "Well, which one are you!?"
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︎ Sep 26 2020
What did the Eastern European say to his friend who was swearing a lot?
Hey, stop using such Bulgar language
(Eastern euro joke 6/7)
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︎ Sep 03 2020
What happened to the midget who smoked a lot of pot ?
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︎ Sep 01 2020
I believe a lot of conflict in the Wild West could have been avoided completely....
.....if cowboy architects had just made their towns big enough for everyone.
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︎ Dec 11 2020
I drove my new car out of the lot only to find that the reverse gear is broken.
Thereβs no turning back now.
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︎ Sep 05 2020
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