After I was arrested, my ex-wife decided to hang a picture of my mugshot on the wall in her living room.
But she still won't admit she framed me.
While visiting the museum, I saw my ex girlfriend standing across the hall, but I was too self conscious to say hello.
There was just too much history between us.
What did the train conductor use to murder his ex-wife?
Investigators aren't sure yet, but they discovered he had a loco motive.
Sure, Poe Dameron is a handsome ex-smuggler, but he's not the only one
My ex told me she was watching the "Peaky Blenders". So here we are...
I ran into my ex girlfriend at the gym.
"My ex couldn't name a single metal band from the 80s."
"Slayer?"
"No, I just shook my head."
My ex girlfriend had the laziest cat, she was so lazy I actually at one point thought it was dead.
Turned out it was just catatonic.
Why did the pirate get back with his Ex?
Because that’s where he buried his treasure.
I just got word my ex wife was rushed to the ER and tested positive for COVID-19!
So I guess she wasn’t sick of me?
My ex girlfriend was obsessed with trying to find the largest known prime number.
I wonder what she is up to now.
Me and my ex cell mates talk all the time.
We like to talk about spreadsheets.
I can't believe my ex wanted the expanse of open rolling infertile land in addition to my trailer home...
She wanted my mansion and moor!
What do you call an ex director of the KGB served with gravy and cheese curds?
The last time I saw my ex girlfriend, she was getting on a plane to go to Helsinki.
Then she vanished into Finn Air.
Ex-hula hoop champions wouldn't even understand the sophisticated techniques of current competitors.
They've just been out of the loop for too long.
To which state did my ex-wife move after the divorce?
I don't know.
But if I see her, Alaska!
So my fiance recently divorced from her stay at home ex whose name is Ali. He was making a fuss about not getting his cash settlements from the divorce. I had to calm her down and tell her to
Just saw the star of Crazy Ex-Girlfriend preform in London for the first and (maybe) only time.
It was a 'once in Bloom moon' experience.
I've just spent all my savings on the world's largest bottle of Tipp-Ex
I told my ex girlfriend that the world is flat. She got really angry.
When I told her she was my world, she decided to break up.
We should get all the ex-USSR states back together
Then we could have a Soviet re-Union
Her ex-husband had a heart attack after winning the lottery
But he'd neglected to update his will. She just couldn't bereave her luck!
What did the ex of Ed Sheeran do?
Hear about the ex-body-builder couple that broke up?
They just weren't working out like they used to...
Last time I saw my ex-wife, what she said made me so mad I pushed her in the river
Q: What did she say?
A: SPLASH!
Just got the ex.....
Jusy got a random text from her after picking up my son for the weekend.
Her: Hey, how much do used PS3'S run?
Me: Not a whole lot, they don't have legs.
No idea why I'm single. I'm fucking hilarious.
My ex-wife called the other day.
She says: “The lightbulb in the bathroom burned out and I don’t know how to change it?”
My reply: “First, you fill the tub with water...”
My Ex made the worst coffee.
I thought it was grounds for divorce.
The digestive system didn’t want to run into his ex wife at his sons wedding...
Why did the watchmaker hate that his ex couldn´t do somersaults?
Because he only liked roll exes
The brothel where the ex-NBA star overdosed may have to close its doors for good...
Because they never received the money that Lamar Odom.
Did you hear the ex CEO of Fox news died?
Why does the ex-con get a boner every time he sees a clock?
Because he's used to doing time.
The day after getting a tattoo my ex-wife asked how it was feeling
Dadjoked my (possibly soon-to-be ex)friends at the bar
We were just having a couple beers and watching football when our waitress came by and showed us the tip she received- a $1 bill folded into an origami frog.
Friend: "How do you make $1 origami frogs?"
Me: "Well, first you start with $1 origami tadpoles"
(collective groan)
Ex gf's dad said this all the time, made me uncomfortable the first time it was directed toward me
Someone would burp/sneeze/etc and say, "excuse me" to which he would reply "there is no excuse for you."
I saw my ex girlfriend standing on the opposite side of the museum hall, and I was too self conscious to say hello.
There was so much history between us.
While visiting the museum, I saw my ex girlfriend standing across the hall, but I was too self conscious to say hello.
There was just too much history between us.
I saw my ex girlfriend across the museum hall, but I felt too self conscious to go say hello.
There was just too much history between us.
I was at the museum and I saw my ex girlfriend across the hall, but was too self conscious to say hello.
There was too much history between us.
I looked across the museum hall and spotted my ex girlfriend but I was too self conscious to say hello.
There was just too much history between us.
I saw my ex girlfriend across the museum hall, but I felt too self conscious to go say hello.
There was just too much history between us.
My ex girlfriend was obsessed with trying to find the largest known prime number.
I sometimes wonder what she is up to now.
My ex girlfriend was obsessed with trying to find the largest known prime number.
I wonder what she’s up to now.
I saw my ex-girlfriend standing on the other side of the museum, but I didn’t go and say hi.
There was just too much history between us.
The last time I saw my ex girlfriend, she was boarding a plane for Helsinki.
Then she just vanished into FinnAir.
I saw my ex wife from across the hall in a museum...
I was too self conscious to say hello.
I mean there was all this history between us!
My ex girlfriend was obsessed with discovering the largest known prime number.
I wonder what she is up to now.
I ran into my ex wife at the gym.
I ran into my ex girlfriend at the gym.
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
