How did the dinosaur get clean?
What do you use to clean the air?
How does the Earth keep itself clean ?
The first company to rename their dinner rolls "gravy mops" is really going to clean up.
How do you clean your hands at the North Pole?
You use hand Santa-tizer.
I play minesweeper while my wife cleans the house...
Because she is dealing with hersweeper
Why did the flatbread become a clean comedian?
He wanted to be naan-offensive.
Many Folks Don’t Know that Santa Often has to Clean the Small Bits of Poo from his Reindeer Butts.
They call them Jingle Berries.
Who keeps the ocean clean?
A mermaid!
Courtesy of my 10 year old daughter
Why was the tailless horse so clean?
[META] Dad jokes should be clean, not just groan-inducing. That's what makes it a Dad joke, we can tell it to the kids in front of Mom and not get in trouble (other than maybe for the punchline).
How do you clean the inside of a Uterus?
Two cowboys walking through the plains, no food or water, death imminent. When through hazy vision one of them spies a tree, covered in bacon by an oasis of pure clean. One cowboy hide behind a rock, as his confused friend runs to the tree... only to be gunned down by some bandits.
The second cowboy is relieved to be alive, and thankful that he knew that that was no bacon tree.
It was a ham bush
What does the Mandalorian use to clean up Baby Yoda's messes?
He uses Bounty [a paper towel brand in the US]
I'm very proud--my teenage son just came up with this one, though I see a few variations when searching through past dad jokes.
When you clean the vaccum cleaner, you become the vaccum cleaner
What's the best way to clean up fake shit?
When I was a young boy, I was walking down a gravel road with my grandpa. I accidentally slipped and fell to the ground, cutting my knees. Grandpa gently bent down and began to clean the wound, removing the little pebbles now embedded in my skin as I cried...
I'd always heard adults talk about it, but I finally knew what they were talking about.
I'll never forget the pain of my first kid knee stones...
What do you call someone who cleans the outside of the International Space Station?
A colleague at worked complained he couldn't find any clean cups. "Maybe they're in the naughty corner," I offered. "Why would they be there?" he asked.
"Because they were acting like mugs."
A queen went travelling to a foreign land. She asked her two ladies in waiting to clean for each other while she was gone, so they wouldn't be out of practice when she got back. When she returned, the two had fallen in love and gotten married.
They were maid for each other.
What did the mermaid use to clean her tail?
What do you call it when the grocer fails to clean up a mess in the store?
A wrecked aisle dysfunction.
Who is in charge of keeping the ocean clean?
what did the pancreatic cancer say to the lung cancer after the lung cancer told him to clean his room?
I tried to give the guy who came to clean our septic tank out a beer. He said, “I’m not the type of guy who drinks on the job.”
I said, “Yeah, you wouldn’t want you’re boss to catch you shit faced.”
What snakes keep the windscreen clean?
Why did the boy clean the toilet?
Accidentally used a dirty cloth to try and clean the table.
My Latin wife dances a lot as she keeps the floors clean...
Ugh...It's my turn to clean the front entrance
“Son, go clean the attic.” “But dad, theres asbestos up there!”
“Just clean it as-best-os you can.”
Source: my dad
What is the hardest part to clean of a Star Wars ship?
I took apart the coffee maker to clean it but can't figure out how to put it back together.
My wife says this is grounds for divorce...
I was suppose to clean out the fish tank today...
But I have no idea where they drove off to
Dad: I’M GOING TO BUY A BROOM AND CLEAN THE KITCHEN FLOOR TODAY!!!
Dad: Oh wait. It’s Wednesday. Tonight I have to be at work until 9.
Dad: I really shouldn’t make sweeping declarations.
My child was setting up a science homework project on the dinner table. I swiped the table clean and threw the table outside. He asked "what was that for?"
I said, it's a periodic table. You cant use it right now.
When you partied too hard last night, now you gotta clean up the litter the next morning
What does a racecar clean the house with?
I went fishing today and caught 36 bluegill, each a slabber in its own right! I got home and dumped em in the kitchen basin, to clean. My wife got pissed!
No one respects the panfish sink decision...
The Mars rovers have to be sterile before being sent to the planet to prevent cross contamination. Just one germ and they must clean the spaceship again...
The whole mission must be scrubbed.
What did the clean DNA say to the dirty DNA?
Wife asked me to clean the bathroom so I asked for the dolphin spray...
Wife: What!?
Me: You know, the all porpoise cleaner.
Wife: You're a fucking idiot.
Sorry if this is a repost but I've never seen it before so it's new to me!
My wife is furious that I don’t clean the coffee from the machine after I am done with it.
How do you clean the ocean?
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