What was the dark blue sea lion mistaken for?
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︎ Jan 13 2021
Why was the cow award a blue ribbon?
The cow was out standing in his field.
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︎ Nov 30 2020
Did you hear about the violent crash between the red ship and the blue ship?
All the sailors were marooned!
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︎ Oct 16 2020
Did you hear about the Minotaur they found under the Blue Mosque?
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︎ Nov 05 2020
How do the Japanese say farewell when feeling blue?
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︎ Sep 24 2020
What's the difference between red and blue thermometers?
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︎ Sep 28 2020
The other day, I thought my blue car had turned red
But it was just a pigment of my imagination
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︎ Sep 25 2020
What does the color blue do when it's done using the computer?
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︎ Oct 14 2020
What happened when the red boat crashed into the blue boat?
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︎ Jul 31 2020
Something weird happened today. I went to talk to a friend, and he asked me to calculate arcsecant out of the blue.
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︎ Sep 25 2020
What did the blue sheep say to the red sheep?
Voting third party is a waste.
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︎ Jul 08 2020
What happened to the man who stepped on a blue jay
He was arrested for jaywalking
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︎ Aug 31 2020
We can't decide whether to put in soft pink or baby blue flooring in the nursery
It's an infantile problem
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︎ Jun 14 2020
TIL the color magenta doesn't exist, it is your brain trying to make sense of your red and blue cones activating while the green is inactive.
Turns out, it's a pigment of your imagination
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︎ Feb 28 2020
The colours red, white and blue are the colours of freedom.
Until they are flashing behind you.
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︎ May 09 2020
What do I have if I have 8 red LEGO bricks in one hand and 16 blue LEGO bricks in the other hand?
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︎ May 01 2020
Dad: βI like to have my shoes match my pants. For instance, my brown shoes go well with my blue pants and my black shoes go well with my gray pants. My stripper heels on the other hand...β
β...donβt go with anything.β
My dad never makes βdad jokesβ but, he actually said this yesterday and Iβm so proud.
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︎ Jan 20 2020
I can't wait for the Korean blues singer to come to town!
I hear his sound is very Seoulful and reminiscent of the 70βs.
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︎ Apr 06 2020
The fact that everything we see in monitors is made up of only red, green and blue is amazing. I suppose you could say...
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︎ Jan 08 2020
Found a baby blue jay on the ground. Not sure what to do with it.
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︎ Sep 23 2019
What repeatable, documented procedure do artists use when formulating the perfect shade of blue?
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︎ Feb 08 2020
Why is the ocean always blue?
Because the shore never waves back.
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︎ Nov 17 2019
Why did the fireman wear red, white, and blue suspenders?
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︎ Nov 13 2019
Dad joke pun the GF hit me with this morning regarding blue jeans
While putting on a pair of jeans this morning before work, I remarked to my gf something along the lines of "I've had these jeans for years, they're so old!"
To which she replied: "Yeah I can see that, they look like they've been in your family for generations."
I'm still absolutely floored with pride.
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︎ Sep 05 2019
If Green = Spring, Red = Summer, Orange = Autumn, and Blue = Winter, which colour is the wettest?
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︎ Feb 25 2019
Breaking news: A red ship and a blue ship have collided in the Caribbean...
...apparently, the survivors are marooned.
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︎ Feb 08 2017
Not a joke per se, but definitely fits - I texted my daughter "in a bottle" and then waited for her to ask "what's this I don't get it. How come out of the blue you just randomly send me the message 'in a...' ... I hate you"
Had potential to misfire but worked perfectly.
Also, the other day my wife left a Monster energy drink under her bed, and we waited for her to come and ask "ok who put this monster under my bed?"
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︎ Apr 02 2019
My dad sent me this one out of the blue..
A Mexican magician says he'll disappear on the count of three.
Uno... Dos... Poof
He disappeared...
Without a tres.
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︎ May 13 2015
My sister is really indecisive. When I bought her that red phone cover she always wanted she returned it and bought a blue one, then she returned that one and bought the red one again!
I knew that would be the case.
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︎ Apr 08 2019
There was a rumor around our neighbor that we aren't allowed to go to the house with the color blue
That's because it's not our property
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︎ Aug 19 2019
In a one story house the walls are blue, the chairs are blue, the floor is blue, the lights are blue, the living room is blue, the bedrooms are blue, the kitchen is blue, even the air has a blueish tint. What color are the stairs?
The house is ONE STORY it has no stairs.
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︎ Jul 31 2019
Did you hear about the ship carrying red and blue paint that crashed onto an island?
The sailors were marooned
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︎ Jul 14 2019
Daughter: "Dad! My little brother said I'm as chubby as the blue ribbon steer at the State Fair!"
Dad: "That isn't very nice but it's a reasonable fat simile."
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︎ Jul 27 2019
Oh baby I hear the blues are calling...
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︎ Feb 09 2018
My wife just called me and said, "Three of the girls in my office just got some flowers out of the blue! They're absolutely gorgeous!"
I replied, "That's probably why they got flowers then."
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︎ Apr 30 2019
How do the Japanese say farewell when feeling blue?
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︎ Sep 24 2020
What happened when the red ship and the blue ship crashed
π︎ 4
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︎ May 12 2020
Why did the fireman wear red, white, and blue suspenders?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Nov 08 2019
Why is the ocean always blue?
Because the shore never waves back
π︎ 6
π
︎ May 25 2019
Why is the ocean always blue?
Because the shore never waves back.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Oct 27 2019
A red ship and a blue ship collided in the ocean.
Apparently the survivors are marooned.
π︎ 14
π
︎ May 31 2019
Did you hear about the red ship and the blue ship that collided?
All of the sailors were marooned.
π︎ 2
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︎ Jun 13 2019
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