Every time they push the button on the remote they think Sound Off, one two, Sound Off, three four, Sound Off one two three four, one two, three FOUR.
(Army Veteran here, no disrespect intended fellow brothers and sisters.)
I guess that's why they are called waiters
Sometimes they take this schist for granite.
Proctor & Gamble
I just have to take shelfies!
All their roads seem to have this weird design flaw.
I told him, 'no, because it's Son Day'.
and make it snappy”.
I hated eating anywhere with him, now I think it’s funny. Help, I’m turning into my father.
Receding hare line
It was a par time job.
It wasn’t a well thawed out plan.
Today, I finally told him, "Because my hair falls out by itself."
I didn't have the heart to say, "You'll understand when you grow up."
It was about the only time male pattern baldness made sense to me.
He heard it was a stable job.
Me: Where's your bin?
Dad: On holiday.
Me: No where's your wheelie bin?
Dad: I wheelie been on holiday!
"Are you stuck?"
