I took my 1 year old to the ER with the flu. As the nurse was taking her temperature rectally with the thermometer in the butt, he sympathized with her misery by saying β€œI know, it stinks.”

To which I responded β€œIt certainly will when you take it out.” I accepted the long awkward silence that followed as thunderous applause.

πŸ‘︎ 39
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Khoalb
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2020
🚨︎ report
I sympathize with batteries

I’m never included in anything either.

πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jhabibs
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2018
🚨︎ report
Why don't people sympathize when your books fall on the floor?

Because you only have your shelf to blame.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Northwestern253
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2019
🚨︎ report
If a plant feels bad...

Do the other plants photo-sympathize?

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Darksoulsborne
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Sometimes plants make better friends than people..

At least they know how to photo-sympathize.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ditzdee
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Cant believe i thought of this... Cant believe i laughed at it. quickmeme.com/meme/3ujiil…
πŸ‘︎ 307
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DaBomb326
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2013
🚨︎ report
Insulting bus driver.

A woman got on a bus, holding a baby. The bus driver said, "That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen." In a huff, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus. The man seated next to her sensed that she was agitated and asked her what was wrong. "The bus driver insulted me," she fumed. The man sympathized and said, "Why, he's a public servant and shouldn't say things to insult passengers." "You're right," she said. "I think I'll go back up there and give him a piece of my mind." "That's a good idea," the man said. "Here, let me hold your monkey."

πŸ‘︎ 62
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sasquatchit
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2018
🚨︎ report
The government are doing nothing to stop the plant take-over!

They're a bunch of photo-sympathizers!

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ExplosiveLlama
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2016
🚨︎ report
Not sure if technically a joke..

Not really a joke, but it sure made me laugh.

A few days ago I was working on an essay about Harriet Tubman. I finished it Wednesday night and left it in the kitchen overnight. At some point during the nighttime my father erased one of my sentences. It was something like, "New York responded to this incident with outrage, with most sympathizing with Tubman over her economic hardships."

He replaced it with, "Harriet Tubman wrote the first draft of the film The Parent Trap on the back of a Carls Jr. sandwich wrapper." I didn't check the paper before turning it in.

My teacher was not amused.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hatsforfish
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2014
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.