The Committed Puns

A list of puns related to "The Committed"

What happened when the leader of Russia committed a crime?

He got Putin jail

👍︎ 3
💬︎
👤︎ u/apeskoot
📅︎ Feb 01 2021
🚨︎ report
The author of Webster's dictionary committed suicide with the book he wrote.

At least he died on his own terms.

👍︎ 8
💬︎
👤︎ u/BinaryPeach
📅︎ Dec 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the french chef committed suicide??

He lost his huile d'olive

👍︎ 8
💬︎
👤︎ u/yuri-123
📅︎ Oct 27 2020
🚨︎ report
In response to the American coin shortage, Canada has committed to providing the U.S. aid

They give us Nickelback

👍︎ 35
💬︎
👤︎ u/SquireX
📅︎ Jul 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the Italian who committed identity theft?

Police say he was an impasta

👍︎ 7
💬︎
👤︎ u/Yaboibaka
📅︎ Aug 19 2020
🚨︎ report
I committed Seppuku once. I don't think I have the guts to do it again.

Seppuku is the suicidal act of stabbing yourself in the stomach.

👍︎ 13
💬︎
👤︎ u/JaredLiwet
📅︎ Dec 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the string of bank robberies committed by a guy dressed up like Jesus?

The cops finally nailed him.

👍︎ 13
💬︎
👤︎ u/kickypie
📅︎ Nov 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did police believe a duck had committed the robbery?

Because he fit the bill of the one they were looking for.

👍︎ 5
💬︎
👤︎ u/TheMightyBattleSquid
📅︎ Jan 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Do you know why no one has ever been sentenced for crimes committed on the moon?

Because it's a gray area

👍︎ 30
💬︎
👤︎ u/Erikjb12
📅︎ Jun 23 2019
🚨︎ report
The court committed me to the psych ward today.

They were judgmental

👍︎ 4
💬︎
👤︎ u/boogerknows
📅︎ Nov 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the chain of terrorist attacks committed by angry bankers?

Police thought the attacks were linked but later found that they were a bunch of loan wolves.

👍︎ 6
💬︎
👤︎ u/Nick30075
📅︎ Sep 07 2019
🚨︎ report
This guy is committed to the joke imgur.com/aUTswae
👍︎ 4k
💬︎
👤︎ u/occasionawsme
📅︎ Oct 05 2013
🚨︎ report
A midget with the ability to talk to ghosts committed a crime but was not caught yet.

We are looking for a small medium at large.

👍︎ 5
💬︎
👤︎ u/JazzPhobic
📅︎ Aug 15 2019
🚨︎ report
A group of shepherds committed suicide last night. They heard the song “there will never be another you.”
👍︎ 2
💬︎
👤︎ u/surprise_shellfish
📅︎ Apr 14 2019
🚨︎ report
How did the police know that Will Smith committed the robbery?

Because they found some Fresh Prints.

👍︎ 8
💬︎
👤︎ u/Mohawk_Mike
📅︎ Jan 14 2019
🚨︎ report
if i killed the pope, would i have committed a cardinal sin?
👍︎ 68
💬︎
👤︎ u/zse4rffb
📅︎ Jan 10 2014
🚨︎ report
Which of the presidents never committed any crimes?

Lincoln, because he is in-a-cent.

👍︎ 12
💬︎
👤︎ u/UnglazedDonuts
📅︎ Feb 24 2017
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about why the train conductor committed murder?

It was a loco motive.

👍︎ 13
💬︎
👤︎ u/TxAzure
📅︎ Dec 28 2017
🚨︎ report
After Cain committed the first murder....

His whole family was dis-Abled.

👍︎ 12
💬︎
👤︎ u/t-rexatron
📅︎ Jul 31 2016
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the French chef who committed suicide?

Apparently he'd just completely lost the huile d'olive.

👍︎ 335
💬︎
👤︎ u/GargoyleToes
📅︎ Oct 18 2017
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.