Ugh too much sugar I'm drowning here!
My wife asked me to be her Sugar Daddy
I said I can only afford to be your Salt Bae
My friend injects his marijuana plants with sugar water as they grow, they sells bags of it for much higher prices...
He's trying to sweeten the pot.
Why don’t ant colonies ever get sick?
.... because they’re full of anty bodies
My doctor said my sugar is too high...
So I went home and put it in on a lower shelf
A donkey fell into a bowl of sugar.
What do you call a Reddit post that oxidizes sugar and results in a nutty brown flavour?
My wife asked, “If someone’s body just isn’t fighting the virus, would getting the vaccine help?”
I told her I think it’s worth a shot
Jokes about white sugar are rare.
Jokes about brown sugar, demarara.
When I was a kid, my parents would always say, “Excuse my French” after a swear word...
I’ll never forget that first day at school when the teacher asked did we know any French...
Who's John Candy's favorite music artist?
"excuse me, is this sugar free?"
Cashier: No. You have to pay for it.
Did you hear about the bag of sugar that was caught illegally crossing the road for the second time that day?
I wanted to make a new soft drink called Emotions
But my therapist thought that was a bad idea. He said it was not healthy to bottle emotions. Others told me that the product would fizz in sales.
I visited the doctor today and he told me my sugar was too high.
So I came home and moved it to a lower shelf.
What do you call sugar-free breath mints from California?
Go ahead, ridicule me for not knowing what confectioner's sugar is.
A recipe for a good relationship
My wife and daughter are working on improving the meringue cookie recipe they are using.
I asked if the batter was better and my wife said yes.
So I asked if it had enough sugar or if it was a bitter better batter.
The look on her face was priceless!
I reminded her that she knew my sense of humor before she married me and went through with it anyway.
My wife told me I had to pick between her and my sugar addiction.
I looked over, sadly, and said “Goodbye honey.”
I’d say something sweet about the new Jacket I got for Christmas..
But I don’t want to sugar coat it.
Sugar free candies would be much cheaper without the sugar in it.
I'm sorry to report that I lost both my feet to diabetes
Birmingham (UK) man loses job after 45 years at company
A Brummie was made redundant after working for the same company for 45 years. He quickly gets an interview with one of his ex companies rivals. His friends advise him that he should wear a suit and tie to the interview to try and make a good impression, unfortunately the interview is the same day and his only suit he has is the one he wore to his original interview in 1975.
He quickly gets dressed in his brown suit, complete with flares, wide lapels and a kipper tie.
He made quite the impression on his entrance and when the interviewer invited him into his office, he said "nice kipper tie" to which he replied " milk and 2 sugars please"
Why did the artist add sugar to his paint?
Who can drink 10 litres of petrol and not get sick?
If sugar daddy gets hard, he becomes a caramel daddy.
I went to the diabetes screening
It's just a movie about sugar
After being robbed a farmer beats up a thief with a sugar cane.
He is reported to have said "revenge is sweet"
I wish sugar never would have been discovered...
There'd be a lot less suckers in the world.
My wife misplace the sugar with the salt in her sugar cookies.
It was sodium disgusting.
Just got the test shot from our wedding photographer, but we accidentally dropped them into the mixing bowl filled with sugar, milk, and Jell-O mix.
Wife to be can't believe we actually did that, but I told her the proof is in the pudding.
Spanish Satan ate too much sugar
I threw a fuzzy peach at his head and he said "that's not assault that's a sugar"
What do you call a magical sugar?
Why does brown sugar cost more than white sugar?
So for Halloween I’m going to wear a baby carrier with a bag of sugar in it.
A man was found dead, covered in toffee sauce, chocolate chunks and sugar sprinkles.
Police say he topped himself.
Ever seen a donkey that fell into a pit of sugar?
Jokes about sugar are rare...
Jokes about brown sugar: demerara
Jokes about white sugar are rare, but jokes about brown sugar.
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