What do you get when you cross a stink bomb with a space shuttle?
Something that stinks to high heaven.
My hands stink like shit after going to the nail bar
I had to rush them to finish. So I ended up with a man-ure
I told my buddy he stinks
He was wearing Puma pants
I was told my jokes stink...
I'm pretty sure they're actually PUNgent.
Why does the Autobahn stink so badly?
It has alot of ausfahrts.
I couldn't understand why my teacher always said that the essays I wrote stink.
Turns out my pencil was a No. 2.
What's the opposite of a stink bug?
A deodor-ant!
(Stolen from the Dungeons and Daddies podcast)
I said to the street musician that his music stinks.
Poop jokes are not my favorite...
But they are a solid number 2.
Apologies if I’m posting in the wrong sub, but I need to ask a question.
I’ve been doing a lot of self-reflection lately. You know, wondering who I am… I put up with a lot of crap every single day, like it’s my job. And almost every time I put up with this stuff, I just feel wiped.
So my question is this: If I were the opening at the end of the alimentary canal through which solid waste matter leaves the body, WIBTA?
What's the difference between a bad pun and a fart?
A pun is a shift of wit....
My dog ate a bunch of scrabble tiles
I took her to the Vet and said her next bowel movement could spell disaster…
Only 40% of Americans say their farts stink. What do you call the other 60 %?
Two men get on an elevator. On the way to the top floor, one farts. They stand there silently.
As they leave the elevator, the one who farted looks at the other and says “I apologize. That was wrong on so many levels.”
I've become so numb to these puns!
When two vegans get in an argument...
Is it still called a beef?
Did you hear about the fireman who got buried under an avalanche of poop?
He died in the line of doody.
Judge: "Please spell your first name for the recorder"
Me: " 'A', 'L', 'F',......'A', 'R', 'T',.....'F', 'R', 'E', 'D' "
Judge: "Your first name is 'Alfartfred'?"
Me: "No sir, it's pronounced "Alfred". The fart is silent."
I know, this one stinks.
Enough of the “dad joke” posts about anuses please
Do you know why farts stink?
It’s for the benefit of the deaf.
Why didn't the nose want to be 12 inches?
Because it didn't want to be a foot.
A dung beetle walks in to a bar, takes a good look around and walks back out.
I hung up a steak in my bathroom.
I wanted a meatier shower.
What jacket stinks the most?
A man was riding on the bus and reading and article about life and death statistics. Fascinated he turns to the fellow sitting next to him and says "did you know that everytime I breathe somebody's dies?"
The fellow turns to him and says "have you tried mouthwash?"
Don't stub your toe playing soccer.
I'd hate for you to suffer the agony of de feet.
Why does a garbage man make the best boyfriend?
He’s always at your disposal.
What do you call an Irish man on a porch?
.
.
.
.
Paddy O'Furniture.
I finally stood up to my boss and told him I would no longer clean his toilet…
I told him I was sick of his crap and this job stinks
I'm starting to become addicted to writing these cheesy jokes.
I just hope I never lose my whey.
I'm using a new software that types by tracking my eye movement, but it sends my emails too early.
I blink, therefore I spam.
A guy just ordered one slice of cheese at the drive-thru
Doctor: Sorry, we had to remove your colon.
what has 4 wheels, sometimes 6, flies and you probably see it In your neighborhood once a week?
A garbage truck!!! Sorry, I know this one stinks. Total trash.
Why can't Luke Skywalker ever give his dad a surprise gift?
Because Vader can always sense his presents.
When you die, what is the last part of your body to stop working?
Your pupils. They dilate.
My son's joke: Why do ninjas' feet stink?
Because they kick butt all day!
i once farted naked, and liquid soap squirted out...
Proud dad moment, this is from my daughter. “Where is a bacteria’s favorite place to sit?”
Poop jokes aren't my favorite jokes...
...but they're a solid number two
Poop jokes aren't my favorite,
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