Unfortunately it’s kinda crumby
Ah, that's a match made in 'Oven
It was a pretty crumby job
This was not just a fun fact, it was a hard fact
but then I remembered it was ground this morning.
Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale
Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments
Then you're a faux pa.
It was painful 🇫🇷🥖
He said: "No, but if you sit on them they go flat."
Piece of toast
...the jerk had me charged; assault with a breadly weapon.
Oops, wrong sub.
A fairly stale bread.
Because the bread mold was a fun-gi
He said "Check, mate."
Then I found a chessboard designed cake. The next day I came back to return it.
"What's wrong?" He asked.
I said "Stale, mate."
But nah, its probably stale
I knew I should've wrapped up the sandwich before leaving it on the table.
A bad toast can seem stale and dry, but a great toast can lift your spirits.
http://i.imgur.com/hN65YTl.jpg
He has a rye sense of humor...
But I broke up with her because she was too kneady.
Tonight my wife and I were explaining why my son had to wear pajama bottoms after putting anti-itch cream on his legs, because it kept it from rubbing off on the sheets. “But doesn’t it rub off on the pajamas?” asked my daughter. My wife patiently explained that the cream could then rub back onto his legs.
“Yes,” I said. “It’s a perpetual lotion machine.”
They get stale really fast.
But I thought most of you would find it rather stale
Because it was stale, mate.
Our lives would be very stale
He was feeling crummy.
I mean, the veggies on it are starting to turn different colors and the bread has gotten stale. How can anyone eat this sub?
Her> Would you like me to pack?
Me> We've only just met. I didn't know you were leaving already.
...gonna call it Best By.
After a few hours of debate, no one was willing to concede, and it was decided that a vote must be held. Unfortunately, with so few friends present, it was clear that they would need to bring the vote to the greater public. The group decided that each friend would make a plea to the subreddit of their choice, and whoever received the most karma for it would win.
Adam, already undecided himself, decided to go to /r/AskReddit. He laid out the agreement, and asked that everyone vote one their favorite movie, and the one with the most votes he would use for the his friends. Unfortunately, as the votes were split in that sub, his highest post amounted to a mere 38 points.
Paul, a big proponent for the Toy Story franchise, posted to /r/nostalgia in the hopes that everyone who grew up with Toy Story would agree. Unfortunately, as there had been two sequels (with a third on the way) it wasn't exactly considered "nostalgia" and he got downvoted into oblivion.
Bill, who loved Monsters Inc., made his case using some trickery. Going to /r/news, he found a seemingly unrelated post, and made a top-level comment describing, in great detail, why Monsters Inc. was the greatest film of all time. The fact that the post was so out of context made everyone flock to it, and drew enough attention to new him over a thousand fake internet points.
Mike, who loved the Incredibles movies, decided to stay in his wheelhouse. Over the course of several hours, he created each of the family members from the Incredibles in Soulcaliber VI. Finally, he photoshopped the family together, and posted it to /r/gaming. Under normal circumstances this would have skyrocketed to the top, but the format was stale, and thus only received 20k karma. Still, Mike was confident in his victory.
While the other four friends came up with plans on how to maximize their karma gains, Chris sat silently. For hours he sat, making no posts, coming up with no original content. Finally, an hour before the deadline, he broke into his neighbor's house, stealing his copy of the Pixar movie "Up". He took a picture of his theft and posted it directly to /r/dadjokes with the title "STOLEN".
When the group got together the next day to see who got the most votes, everyone was in awe. Chris's post had over 40,000 points. "How did you know that would win?" "Easy," Chris replied. "Everyone knows stolen content on /r/dadjokes gets all the Up votes."
I am buying him a bottle opener before I go back stateside (USMC) and cannot figure out what to get engraved on it. He is kinda stale, so dry sense of humors welcome!
I said "This is stale, mate." He said "Are you sure?" I said "Check, mate".
Because he tasted funny.
Me: I demand a refund!
Assistant: what's wrong with it?
Me: It's stale mate.
Assistant: Surely not?
Me: Check mate.
A stale cracker!!!
I told them “I hope this doesn’t turn out like Rigor Mortis of an Australian friend.”
“What?”
“I hope this isn’t a stale mate.”
"Ginger-ale? More like Ginger-stale!"
Me: oh my god! This cereal is soooo stale! Wife: what is it??? Me: Cheerios with ancient grains Wife: *head shaking *eye rolling
