My step sister and I share the same dad.

But her birth was a whole wifetime ago

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 04
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What do you say when your sister steps on your foot and breaks your toe in half?

That's mitosis

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheRedGandalf
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
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When your sister steps on your toe
πŸ‘︎ 243
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πŸ‘€︎ u/riceondrugs
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2019
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Texting my sister when autocorrect decided to step in

Me: I just go on reddit during my breaks. I find it a good way to pass time on my phone without using heaps of data like tumblr does Sister: That's true.. but I mainly just read fanfics Me: I'm trying to not read fabrics bc I have so many books to read Sister: Lol you read fabrics? Me: Nah, reddit has better threads than fabrics

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/childhoodgames
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2016
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So last night my step sisters, dad and I were watching TV.

My dad had just mentioned that he doesn't like drinking out of straws, and my younger step sister asked, "why don't you like straws?"

So he said, "straws are for suckers."

I thought it was pretty good.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sarahmerica
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2013
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My step-sister gave my father and I a handful of candy today

He replied, "Thanks, you're a lifesaver."

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HDogg1414
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2015
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what did the cell say when it’s sister stepped on it’s foot

ouch mitosis

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nevaehdiastae
πŸ“…︎ May 04
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What did the cell say when his sister stepped on his toe?

Mitosis!

  • 13 year old daughter
πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jch308
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02
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True story: I was a kid, watching TV in our living room. My dad was outside using the grill. All of a sudden he bursts in the door hopping on one foot yelling β€œI stepped on a Bee!”

I was so concerned I jumped up and ran over to him...

Earlier that day my friend and I who were really into mountain biking had been using really sticky letters to put our names on our bikes. We were working near the general area of the BBQ.

Apparently I had dropped one...

Stuck to the bottom of my dads foot was the letter B....

A legendary dad joke from a legendary dad.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 07
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Dropping my sister off at college

My Dad, my step-mom, and I visited my step-sister in Montana(we live in Washington) where she goes to school. We had a fun weekend with her all throughout Missoula. My step-mom and step-sister have a a really close bond so when it was time to say goodbye it was tough for them and they both started crying. My dad said something close to "Look now your mother is crying," to which my sister says "Why are you worrying about her I have to walk through people like this." To which my dad hits her with the most dad joke of a dad joke I've ever heard him say. "Why don't you just walk around them instead?"

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2017
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My dad has been sick...

So, my dad has been sick for the past few days, but began feeling a lot better today. Just about five minutes ago my step sister initiated this conversation:

Step-sister: How are you feeling?

Dad: What do you mean how am I feeling?

Step-sister: Like...how do you feel?

Dad: I feel with my hands, how do you feel?

πŸ‘︎ 350
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheSilentGhost
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2014
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Eating at an Italian restaurant...

Step sister: "I'm so hungry, I could eat a house!"

Dad: "Well, I'm sure they have a house special."

πŸ‘︎ 52
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sporkism
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2014
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Managed to get groans of disapproval from everyone at the dinner table

Was at dinner tonight with my girlfriends family and her sister brought her new puppy over. Their step dad left the room momentarily and the puppy followed him.

GF: Oh, jeeze <step dad>, you've got a little stalker!!

Me: Oh no!!! We better call the pawlice!

Rest of table: <audible groans>

I'm only 22, but I like to think I have a bit of dad in me already.

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/centerD_5
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2015
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My dad dropped this one on my younger sister who is in high school

My little sister was talking about doing mathematical proofs and she said "well, in the step I use a protractor to measure the proper angle, etc..."

Dad: "Well you sure can't use an amateur tractor for that!"

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/YosefSum
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2013
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Neither of us are parents yet, but I dad-joked my sister.

So I just got a new apartment, and my sister was over at my old place, helping me pack and picking through some of my old stuff. I was stepping outside to throw some old stuff by the dumpster, when I heard her call from the kitchen, "What do you want to do with this pot?" Obviously, she was talking about a cooking pot, but I shouted loudly enough for my neighbors to hear, "What are you talking about!? I don't have any pot!"

I think I FELT her cringe, even though I couldn't see her.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ignatius87
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2014
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Dad Joked my Step Dad the other night.

Me and the rest of my family just got done eating and after we got done talking my step dad asked me and my sister "Would you guys mind hitting the kitchen?" And I replied "Wouldn't that hurt?" Everyone looked and sighed at me while me and my step dad were laughing.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fallen578
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2014
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First Impressions

So this was a few years back for me and I best give a bit of background info: I was in the beginning of a new relationship with a girl, in my late teens . We were both at the same bording school, so I had to ask permission from her parents and my parents if she'd be allowed to come visit for weekend and all that. Got all the permissions sorted out, and planned a dinner at a chinese place. My dad and step mum came along for the ride, along with my sister.

Now, my dad has a weakish bladder and went to the toilet upon entering the restaurant. Upon emptying his bladder, he announced to us "There was a penny in the toilet. Now there is Two Pee."

I groaned, my sister rolled her eyes and my step mum nearly killed him. My then girlfriend was just mortified (first time she'd met my dad).

At the end of the meal, my dad went to the toilet again. This time he came out with a 2p coin in a tissue, drying it. My then girlfriend was just looked at me as if to say "you're father is mental how are you sane."

I pointed out to my dad the flaw in his trick, stating he'd said it was a penny, not a 2p coin. I think my step mum hit him shortly after he dropped me off at my mum's...

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Liquidbambam93
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2014
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Seeing Double

This is actually a two-in-one deal as both my step dad and dad were involved with the joke. My family and I were watching my sister's basketball game and one of her teammates hit her head on the court.

Stepdad: "She looks disoriented I guess she's seeing double."

Dad: "So every basket should count as 4 points."

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Solachi
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2014
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I need puns about stepping on a nail

My sister went to hospital after stepping on a nail.

I really wanna barrage her with pun after pun when she comes home.

Any help is really appreciated.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mojo1999
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2020
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What does the cell say to his sister when she steps on his toe?

Oh my toe sis!

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dulfuckyourself
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2020
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What did the cell say when his sister stepped on his foot?

Mitosis

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kunalbee
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25
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What did the cell say when it’s sister stepped on it’s foot

Mitosis

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GLIZZYGOD999
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15
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What did the cell say when their sister stepped on their toe?

Ow! That's my toe sis!

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/foxesarezuper
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12
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What did the biologist say when his sister stepped on his foot?

Mitosis!

πŸ‘︎ 53
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Autistic_Spoon
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2019
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What did the cell say to his sister cell when she stepped on his foot?

Mitosis

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/InevitableCringe
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2019
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What did the cell say to his sister cell when she stepped on his toe?

Mitosis

πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ihatepayingtaxes
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2018
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What did the plant cell say to its sister when she stepped on its foot?

watch mitosis!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/floofysox
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2019
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What did the cell say to its sister when she stepped on its foot?

Mitosis

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/priv_rex
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2018
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What did the cell say to his sister cell that stepped on his toe?

Mitosis

πŸ‘︎ 84
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BadW0lf-52
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2017
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What did the cell say when his sister stepped on his foot?

Mitosis!

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2018
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What did one cell say when his sister cell stepped on his toe

Mitosis

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheGamerBoy015
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2018
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What did the cell say when his sister stepped on his foot?

Mitosis

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JDiazM89
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2018
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What does one cell say to his sister cell that stepped on his toe

mitosis

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/apauled
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2016
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