Steeps Puns

A hearse is driving up a very steep street and once it gets near the top, the back door opens up and the coffin comes shooting out of the hearse and rolls down the street.

People are diving out of the way, cars are swerving, it’s chaos! By the time it reaches the bottom of the hill it has picked up a lot of speed and crashes into a wall surrounded by people.

The door pops open, the body sits up and says “Do you have anything to stop this coughin?”

For a moment, I thought he was gone with the Schwinn.

A cyclist is struggling up a long steep hill on his bike, when he is met by a good Samaritan in a car. The guy offers him a long rope to tow him up the hill and the cyclist gratefully accepts. By the time they get to the top of the hill, the guy driving forgets he is towing the cyclist and heads on to the highway, with the poor cyclist ringing his bell in vain. In the meantime, a couple see them drive past their car on the highway and the wife turns to her husband:

"Wow, that car's going pretty fast, isn't it?" The husband replies, "the car?! Look at the cyclist behind him! He's going so fast he's ringing the bell to get the car to move out of the way!"

Hill-arious

A quaran-tea

In the end we split the deferens.

i think the easier one is the ladder of the 2

I like big buttes and I cannot lie

My friend was inclined to say it was a bad idea but I decided what the hill.

It's a koala tea joke.

(Variation of other koala jokes I've heard).

"Well, recently didn't you say you wanted to live a bolder life?" Zing!

does it become gill tea?

Probably won't have it again. It was just a novelty

The first one claims his client is trapped in a penny. Answering the second lawyer's confused look, he says, "My client is in a cent."

the second lawyer nods, then says, "Well. My client is a fish head steeped in hot water. You could say he's gill tea."

But they were a little steep

I said no thanks, that's a bit too steep.

...you could say they’re my SpecialTea.

Either way, it's steep

The price was too steep.

They're to steep.

There’s a steep learning curve.

Barista2: "Did they leave the bag in long enough?"

Me: "Seems like they had steep consequences."

100% True story. I was starting a new job at a software company and was talking to one of my coworkers who has many varieties of tea.

Me: That's a lot of tea you got there.

Him: Yeah, I'll let you sample one. Only $50.

Me: But isn't that a little steep?

Edit: Stupid phone formatting.

it’s a steep price to pay.

"Sure, as long as you give me back"

Me: BECAUSE THEY MAKE YOU POUR!!!!

The price is too steep!

Coworker was putting fresh water in her tea, which was too strong for her.

Me: Soooo...if you were to chart the level of flavor in tea vs. the amount of time you left the bag in the cup, would you end up with a steep curve?

Coworker: Stare

I just saw this guy pay $1,000 for a beverage steeped in footware by a leather-wearing, mohawked, heavily-pierced man in a dark, narrow, side-street.

I guess he really values punk-shoe-alley-tea.

involves a steep learning curve.

I was going to buy some loose tea, but the price was too steep.

I have no idea what this means.

Me: "I can do it!" Wife: "We need a professional." Me:"But those roofers are always working some kind of angle, the work is protracted, and the cost is steep!" Wife:"Don't be obtuse."

She won.

As a Boy Scout, we would camp a lot and go on hikes.

One night, we had to do a night hike, alone, for a merit badge. I had left the campsite about an hour earlier and a terrible storm rolled in. The sky opened up and the ground was quickly saturated. I tried to continue my hike for another few minutes, but it got cold and I was chilled and soaked to the bone, so I decided to try to head back to camp.

Lightning was starting to crackle above me, so I thought I should try to take a shortcut to make my hike back quicker. I pulled out my compass and found my direction, but the rain made it impossible to see more than five feet in front of me.

I was looking down at my compass, not paying any attention to where I was going, and suddenly felt weightless. The feeling didn't last long as I thumped down on slippery earth a second later.

I had fallen onto a ledge on the side of a rather steep cliff, the bottom of which was at least fifty feet down.

I sat there, contemplating on how to get back up this cliff as water rolled over the edge ten feet above me. There was nothing to grab onto to pull myself up. I was stuck there.

After a few minutes, I noticed the little ledge I was standing on was slowly getting smaller. The water was coming down so hard it was eroding the tiny bit of safety I had.

I dug through my pockets, thinking maybe I had something, anything, to help me out of my precarious situation. All I had was my compass, a cough drop, and a match. I was screwed.

So, I sat there, watching the edge of the ledge I was on get closer and closer to my feet, when suddenly I felt something pushing on my back.

I turned slightly and saw a wooden box sticking out of the cliff behind me. It was working its way out of the side, the rain surely helping it along. I tried to move away from it, but the ledge wasn't very wide and the box kept coming out, pushing me farther to the weak and failing edge.

As more of the box came out, to my horror, I realized it was a coffin! I had no idea how old it was, but it looked rather rotten. All I could think of was being pushed off this ledge, and the rotten coffin breaking and dropping a skeleton onto my broken and battered body at the bottom.

The coffin crept closer, my foot began to slip. I grabbed onto a root that was sticking out of the cliffside and dug in my pocket once more.

I hurriedly tore the wrapper off the cough drop and stuck it in my mouth. It stopped the coffin.

This joke has been told to me

But I hear the learning curve is very steep.

Dad: Do you know why I don't drink tea?

Me: Why?

Dad: Because the prices are too steep.

the price is steep.

... and realize the cost was too steep?

I decided to order tea. A few minutes after the tea arrived at my table, my roommate accidentally knocked it over. He was apologizing profusely and I told him to sleep with one eye open, because the consequences for his actions will be steep.

There was an extra zero on the bill, so it ended up being like 70 bucks. Called the customer service at my bank and threw this gem into the conversation :

"I mean I'm just ball parking, but $70 seems a little steep to be frank."

Cue dead silence on the line. I relish these moments.

Me: "How much does it cost?"

Her: "iI's pretty expensive, it's $27."

Me: "Oh wow, that's pretty steep."

Driving down a steep hill with my dad.

he reads out loud a sign that says "WATCH DOWNHILL SPEED"

"hm.. i've never heard of that show."

The glass had two different colored layers.

Me: " Hey check out the tea I"m steeping"

Dad: "It must have different dense-i-teas"

Stressed exactly like you think it sounds.

Ok so my Dad was helping me move into my new uni accommodation last month and in the process we had to carry a lot of heavy boxes up my rather steep stairs.

Understandably, being a man in his 50's, he was a little bit worn out after lugging several metre-by-metre crates up to my room, generally full of heavy electrical equipment and books. After letting out a deep sigh he exhaled - 'Crikey, this is like the Great Stairs Crisis of 1965!'.

To my knowledge, or indeed to anyone else's knowledge (including my dad's), so such crisis ever occurred. I just hope he didn't hear my housemate sniggering in his room downstairs*; he does love a good dad joke.

*Ironically I've noticed that laughing at Dad jokes tends to make said Dad more depressed than when you don't, since they're usually fully aware of how bad their joke is and laughing at it only serves to remind them of the fact that people are actually paying attention to the regrettable nonsense which often leaves their mouths.