Tourists are flocking to the Statue of Liberty after they covered it in camouflage netting
I can't see the attraction myself
What material were statues of bad people made of?
My parents were worried I would be hurt when I told them I had a crush on a statue.
But the Venus de Milo is relatively armless…
I thought it would be funny to award the winner with a golden statue of a feline rear end...
But it was a catasstrophy
My spinster aunt thinks that statues of Jesus on the crucifix in only a loincloth is too revealing, so she has started covering them in appropriate clothing.
...aparently, she's a cross-dresser now.
I asked a carpenter for an estimate for a full size statue of Babe Ruth, he quoted $50...
I said that seems a bit cheap, are your sure?
He said it's just a ball park figure.
What do you call a fashionable lawn statue with an excellent sense of rhythm?
I knocked over the statue made of desserts…
And that’s how the cookies crumbles
Lord Nelson was 5ft 4 inches tall in real life, but his statue in London is more than 18 feet tall.
That’s…a Horatio of more than 3:1.
Apparently the statue of buddah I bought is fake!
I can’t believe it’s not buddah!
Ant statues
Jim was a sculptor; one day he wanted to prove his skills and decided to enter competitions. He found one where a millionaire has asked people to build a statue of an ant with two conditions: the ant should have toes and it should be as tall as possible. Jim spent some time planning, creating prototypes and eventually narrowed it down to two entries when suddenly the millionaire has bankrupted. The only business of them that didn’t disappear was a dairy farm, so the reward for winning the competition was changed to a lifetime supply of milk from that place. Hearing that Jim decided to participate with the smaller of his two statues of ants with toes.
— That will lower your chances to win, why on earth would you do that? - asked his friend.
— I just realised it. I… - Jim hesitated - …lack toes in taller ant.
I accidentally stepped in wet cement in the front walkway of this building because I was in a rush to get to my first job interview
I'm pretty sure I left a bad impression.
I've been practicing my Living Statue performance
Why don't the Easter Island statues ever go anywhere?
I went to the fountain and removed all of its angel statues.
It's now a sans seraph font.
The art and soul of freedom
My friend constantly forgets which South American country the “Christ the Redeemer” statue is in…
I must have told him a Brazilian times.
I had commissioned a sculptor to make a full body statue of me, but they ended up only getting my head.
I guess it was all just a bust.
Direct from the mind of my 4yo: You know how statues are defective?
They have a giant crack in their butt.
Gotta say, while derivative, I’m very proud!
I’ve got a statue of Darth Vader.
I call it Mannequin Skywalker
If you remove an angel statue from a fountain, does that make it a
So I made a wood statue out of a celebrity, I call it timber-ton.
Why did they stop building the monument outside the law library?
It reached the statue of limitations
Did you hear about the guy who tried to rob a bank with a statue?
What do you call a statue made of books?
Why did the pigeon ask the statue for permisson before he pooped on it?
He did want to take it for granite
Did you hear they're putting a fish statue downtown?
Yea, it's being built to scale...
If you have sex with a statue, you have officially
What you call an iron statue of Snow White?
The ferroust of them all.
Ever since I bought that ceramic statue my kids won't go in the back yard
It's gnome man's land now.
I got into an argument with a statue the other day...
and I have to admit it had some rock solid points.
Why don't statues need to smoke weed?
Because they're always stoned.
What do you call high statues?
I had a glass statue of Captain Kirk. My dog ran by and knocked it over and it broke.
What did the Maori statue say to the other Maori statue
For a little anniversary surprise, I commissioned our local bakery to make a cake-statue of my wife.
Is it worthy of dadjoke staus? From a non dad myself.
What's a dry cleaners preferred sense of humor?
Irony
I tried to communicate with those little garden statues
It was hard. They had their own gnome-menclature.
My neighbor asked me if I recognized the mini statues in my front graden...
What do you call a statue in the star wars shop?
The reason that aliens have never visited us is because our solar system has received terrible reviews.
I can't believe I've become attracted to statues...
Now I've really hit rock bottom.
They made a mistake on the statue of Lincoln.
It was a monumental error
I’m addicted to visiting national landmarks.
Mount Rushmore, Grand Canyon, Statue of Liberty, Hoover Damn, Golden Gate Bridge, but it’s never enough to satisfy my urge.
It all started after I saw the St. Louis Arch. It was a gateway monument.
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