They were right. I should have waited until next week.
It’s called Thai Food Mary
It's a slippery slope.
Well, three can play at that game.
Should have used a shovel really
Doctors advise you steer clear of Whoop Whooping Cough
They are calling it “Woof and Meowth disease”
"You discussed me!"
Telling a big fig!
But the judge said it was a he shed she shed situation
Nobody's concerned though, since it's just Italian ISIS and they're delicious. Especially cherry flavor.
My sister is a teacher at a private high school for kids with learning and behavior difficulties. She just texted me for help with a funny slogan about spreading cheer and kicking ass.
Basically, each student "adopted" a teacher and they're going to do some sort of obstacle course. They're Santa's helpers, and have hats, shirts, and swords. She just came up with this idea at the last minute and would like help thinking of a punny tagline.
Any ideas?
...but they were having Nunavut.
Our usual daily meeting wasn't on the calendar today. So my coworker asked me, "Do we have an 11 o'clock today?"
"Yeah! Two of them!"
Use Santatizer
Coweed 19
Hummus a tune.
Jamb.
Thanks u/rerunthedj
Well I’m not going to spread it!!!
“I’m NUTELLAn ya nothin!!”
His question was, "Is 'buttcheeks' one word?"
"Or should I spread them apart?"
Now that you're here, do you have a moment to talk about our Lord and Savior?
Mum-to-sis
If this isn't original then I seriously spent a whole 20 mins on nothing
If I told you, you might spread it around.
- How dense the local population is
- How dense the local population is
I don’t feel like there’s a knead
Corvid-19
It must be viral.
Edit: OMG Thank you for the gold, kind stranger!
There was, for instance, the time he conducted a crew of new S.A.R.H. (Society for the Aesthetic Rearrangement of History -BJ) recruits – all from late twentieth-century Terra – on a training study of Carter’s World, a newly established agricultural colony attempting to support itself by the export of edible nuts. Barely into their second generation, and having yet to show a profit, the colonists were technologically backward. Nevertheless, they showed a surprising ingenuity in the use of their few advantages. It was this resourcefulness that Feghoot was demonstrating to his rookies.
“Look at the perfection with which these streets are graded”, exclaimed one student. “Earth-moving machinery on this scale is strictly high technology stuff. How can they do it?”
“A new alleyway is being constructed, nearby”, said Feghoot. “Let us walk that way while I explain.” As they strolled, he told his students that countless centuries before, the Carter’s World system had been inhabited by a now-vanished race of giants. This very planet had served them for a nursery, and among the many artifacts they had left were thousands of childrens blocks, immense and precision-cut. You simply jack one up onto logs, bring it where you want it, put collapsible jacks underneath, snake out the logs, spread soil more or less evenly beneath, and collapse the jacks.
“I see”, said the student. “It’s not graded road at all; its a simple hammered-earth base.”
“That’s right,” Feghoot went on smoothly. “You just hit the road jack and don’t come back no mo.”
His students registered dismay and anguish.
“Isn’t that right, old-timer?,” Feghoot demanded of an ancient Carterian standing by the mouth of the newly completed alley they had just reached.
“Ahm afraid not, suh”, said the senior citizen, and the students giggled at Feghoots discomfiture. “Oh, we used to do it that way, but it was far too much trouble. It’s the soil heah. You see, the very same soil which produced our famous cashews is so high in clay content that a child could roll out a road of it. Then, we simply use a system of lenses to bake it into hardness. Ahve just completed this alley mahself, and ahm just a retired professor of Sports History, much too old and feeble to handle hydraulic jacks.
“So you see,” he finished, eyes twinkling, “Mah hammered alley is really cashews clay.”
Howls of agony rose from the students, but Feghoot never hesitated. “And he”, he said, turning to his students, “is clearly the gradi
... keep reading on reddit ➡It will be worth the weight.
One day she left me saying you deserve butter.
I answered: "It is, but only margarinely more."
Note: this really happened.
In a statement released by doctors, it has been revealed that his palms were sweaty, knees weak and arms were heavy.. He presented with vomit on his sweater already.. Initial testing has revealed it was mums spaghetti
President Bush has bombed the Canary Islands. Turkey is next!
. . . Space jam
Coz i dont wanna be the only person left alive here.
Quackers.
In Massachusetts.
Or should I spread them apart
Or should I spread them apart?
- A dense population
- A population being dense
"Well, I'm not going to spread it!"
Well , I'm not going to spread it.
