Dr William Archibald Spooner, the creator of spoonerisms was well known to be a smart fella.

The dirty bastard.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/awesome_smokey
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2021
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Nothing starts with an N and ends with a G.

Nothing

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jay-ay
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2022
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Dad: Son, I named you after my father.

After my father: I know.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/namair
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2022
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Spoonerism users...

...are teople poo.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vbloke
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
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The Rev. Spooner got the world Poker champion in to tend his vegetable plants.

He was told to 'Weed 'em and reap'

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheAnagramancer
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2019
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A wealthy man cloned himself

The clone was identical EXCEPT he swore like a bad comedian. So, the wealthy man pushed the clone off a cliff.

The police charged him with making an obscene clone fall.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2021
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Felt clute? C'mon
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Papatheredeemer
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2019
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Any time I do something halfway intelligent, my dad says…

"Wow, you're a fart smella...I mean smart fella!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2017
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how to titillate an ocelot
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πŸ‘€︎ u/queengemini
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2015
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The time my Dad went above and beyond the call of duty, at a formal dinner party

Picture this.

A fancy Christmas dinner party at his new wife's opulent, sandstone estate house. Plates are being cleared from the lengthy, mahogony table that seats the fourteen well-to-do guests, the main course having just finished. All have feasted gloriously on our Christmas fare.

My Dad, playing the good host, picks up two bottles of wine, one white and one red, and proceeds to do a round of the table, chatting amiably with everyone as he circles. Those whose glasses are less than 90% full, he proceeds to top-up. I am sitting in the very centre of the long table, seated directly opposite a very well off lady in her early sixties, by the name of Margaret. My dad, having just topped off my glass, is now standing directly behind me.

This older woman, full of grace and charm, looks to my Dad and says, "Thank you so much for this glorious meal, John. It's been simply divine."

My Dad, "Not at all, Margaret, not at all. Could I charge your glass?"

Margaret, "Oh, no no, thank you. I've got the bottle in front of me!"

My Dad, quick of wit, and with a sneaky - yet charming - grin on his face, responds, "Ah, well, better that than a frontal lobotomy!"

I've never been more proud of him.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rolloxan
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2013
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