So Gandhi fasted every day. His body got weaker and weaker. His feet grew incredibly tough from walking barefoot. He was deep into Hindu spirituality. Unfortunately, he had chronic bad breath.

I guess what I'm trying to tell you is that Gandhi was a super fragile, calloused mystic suffering from halitosis.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jfshay
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2020
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I had a spiritual awakening when I removed the curds from my cheese.

It showed me the whey.

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2022
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Misanthropes are just spiritual cannibals

They are both fed up with people

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dkkslxb
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2022
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Where do sheep get their spiritual advise from?

Baba Black Sheep.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sistasa
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2021
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Did you know that when you eat sweet potatoes from Thailand, your entire spiritual energy field is altered?

Yes, the Thai yams are aura changing.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/j00bz
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2022
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Showed my dad a shirt with holes in it, he said it was a very spiritual shirt

Because it was "holy."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cheesarius
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2021
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After surviving a deadly earthquake, James Bond was asked by a priest if the incident moved him spiritually.

Bond replied "I was shaken, not stirred..."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ExtraSure
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2021
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So you know Gandhi? Walked barefoot, tough feet. Fasted a lot, so he was weak. Prayed a lot, real spiritual. Unfortunately, suffered from bad breath.

In other words, he was a super-calloused fragile mystic suffering from halitosis.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jfshay
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2021
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I had a spiritual awakening at the dentist...

It was a trance and dental experience.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sjmaeff
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2021
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In search of spiritual enlightenment, I travelled to India and encountered a mystic sage that worshipped flat bread and flat bread only.

He was a naan believer.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JuliusJustice
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2021
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spiritual joke

spirituality has lost its spirit and it's now just a ritual

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MockJoke
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
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What do you call a spiritual person on Halloween?

A Boodist.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/v0ideater
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
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Which animal is a spiritual leader in a game farm?

The dolly llama.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DENelson83
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2020
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What's it called when a Tibetan monk wants to kill a colleague, but needs spiritual preparation first?

A premeditated murder

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BrotherTausil
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2020
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My friend is pastor of a church that has no divine historical figures with extraordinary spiritual and moral insight...

It's a not-for-prophet organization.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2020
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I am helping a gold-medal winning sprinter acheive the highest level of spiritual awareness.

...I feel like The Flash, because I too, am enlightening Bolt.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2020
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Sister attempted a dad joke.

We're watching Friday on HBO Max and I was mentioning how the movie was a spiritual cousin to Boyz In Da Hood. When I misspoke by saying "Ice T" instead of "Ice Cube," my sister said "So when did Ice T get cold enough to freeze into Ice Cube?"

Her husband & I groaned.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AndroidNumber137
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2021
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Why was the spiritual teacher upset at his students?

They wern't present

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πŸ‘€︎ u/karma-enigma
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2020
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If you loiter in a Tibetan spiritual leaders sandwich shop every day, then...

... you dilly dally in the Dalai's deli daily.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fatandsalt
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2018
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Gandhi is well known for his spiritual guidance, ascribe mystical powers to him...

We know he frequently fasted which made him somewhat frail and caused bad breath. We also know that he often went without shoes, making the souls of his feet very tough.

This made him a... Super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

(I’ll see myself out)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/aisored224
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2019
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Which race of dogs is the most spiritual?

chihuahua

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xNeron
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2016
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Took a walk to look for spiritual guidance. Then I saw a billboard advertising a local church.

I think it was a sign.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TurkMcGill
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2019
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Life has 3 levels of existence...

Pain and pleasure in the physical plane. Enlightenment in the spiritual plane. And no leg room in the air plane.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sandman369
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2021
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What did the spiritual fisherman say to the whale?

Everything harpoons for a reason

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2019
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What is the most spiritual fruit?

Watermelohm

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Daily_Banana
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2016
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Mahatma Gandhi

travelled extensively and nearly always by walking, causing to develop thick callouses on his feet. He ate very meagerly, causing him to be susceptible to injury. He was well versed in Hindi mysticism and would use this knowledge to relate to fellow Indians on a spiritual level. Fasting, which Ghandi frequently did, can be a cause for an imbalance in the bioata of the mouth leading to bad breath, known medially as halitosis. In sum, Ghandi was a super calloused, fragile mystic plagued by halitosis.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JPWiggin
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2021
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Did you know bees tend to have unusual religious beliefs?

That's because they're insects

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Danelius90
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
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Dad Joke About Yoga

I was asking my girlfriend about her yoga classes, and she said she wasn't really into the spiritual side of yoga, and it weirds her out when some instructors end the class with a communal 'ohmmmm'.

Me: So you're saying there's some resistance to the ohm?

She laughed. She's a keeper.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tbast
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2014
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Maria's taste in music

I have a childhood friend called Maria. Lately she found her spiritual side and because of this all of her preferences changed. What kind of music do you think she listen to now? MariaCHI

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rch99
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2019
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A beautiful tradition

Martial arts is as much spiritual training as it is physical training. In fact, there is a school of martial arts in Korea where practitioners would spend large portions of the day just meditating.

As they train their spirits to ponder over their place in the universe, the practitioners would also train their bodies to forgo the needs of the physical world. The practitioners would endure days on end without sleep, and live on a single loaf of bread for an entire month.

As they meditate, they would repeat the mantra: β€œI am one with the universe, it sleeps not so I shall not sleep. This bread is my only worldly attachment but I shall only TAKE ONE DOUGH”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Charlemagnalpaca
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2018
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I didn't get this one until I was older, when my brother was told the same "story."

Dad: "You know, we're actually descendants of one of the oldest native tribes in this part of the country, right?"

Me: "Really?"

Dad: "Yeah, The Fagawee tribe. I remember when I was little, your grandpa took me on a spiritual pilgrimage through the forest. He drank a lot and smoked some native herbs. The herbs didn't seem to be working, though, because as it got darker, we seemed to be walking in circles. It was cold in the woods and we seemed to keep coming across the same old log. Finally, in the middle of my dad's spiritual trance, he fell to his knees in a clearing, raised his hands high, and proclaimed "We're the Fawagwee!"

Translation: ("Where the fuck are we?")

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cookyflukemegg
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2013
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