They were all excellent at marxmanship
They were called ours
Because they are russian
Unnecessary Marx and Engels.
They were Stalin.
They really went bunkers
The red flags were everywhere.
In Soviet roulette everyone dies equally
“A disaffected and angry citizen, fed up of standing in lines for vodka, decided to go assassinate Gorbachev. He soon came back and ruefully reported that the lines to assassinate Gorbachev were even longer than the lines for vodka.”
There's a lot of red flags you need to watch out for.
Because they're not capitalized
Because they're always Russian.
They still haven’t found what they’re looking for.
“Stuka blyat”
I knew that was a big red flag
Because they love Stalin
A ,rade.
"Greetings, comrade." says the spy, but before he could finish his sentence, the Russian says, "I think you are American spy."
The spy is alarmed, but being a skilled, trained, spy, he says, "That is not true! I am the proudest Soviet there is! I can sing the anthem more beautifully than any other man in the country!"
He then proceeds to sing the Soviet anthem, so melodically and beautifully, that everybody in the bar cheers.
"Very good, very good!" says the politician. "But I still think you are spy."
The man continues to keep his cool.
"I am a historian! I can tell you everything about this glorious country!"
He then spends about two hours recounting the Revolution, the Great Patriotic War, about how superior to the Russia is in terms of technology compared to America and makes a great argument about how communism is beneficial to society.
"Amazing! You are skilled!" says the politician.
The spy smirks.
"But I still think you American spy."
The spy is getting frustrated, but still unfazed.
He replies, "I am good drinker, a true Russian! Let us drink, and see who can come out top!"
The bar turns its attention to the politician and the spy, who are now in a drinking contest.
The bartender serves drink after drink of vodka.
After about an hour of drinking, the politician nearly passes out, unable to hold as much liquor as the spy, to a resounding cheer amongst the bar.
In the midst of the cheering, the Russian politician gets up, smiling, and in a slurred speech, repeats, "You are good, you are good... but I still think you are spy."
The American spy, piss drunk, loses his skill and gives up.
"Okay, you got me. I am an American. But what made you think that way, after all this time?"
The Russian politician replies, "There aren't many black people in Russia."
There were red flags all over the place
He was Russian to the Finnish line
Everyone. They all share the blame.
He was Stalin
I guess they were Stalin around.
Hours
The USS Aarrgh
Cuz they Stalin, and they can’t recover from it fast enough.
Now there's an Iron Curtain that I can't tear down!
Because they were Stalin them.
My history teacher said we were going on a trip to Russia. I asked, "Do we have to go?" She said, "Unless you want to fail, yes." I replied, "Ah, Soviet..."
common cents
While they are walking it starts to precipitate. The man insists that it is raining, but his wife, who has only ever lived further up north where it can only snow, thinks that it is some weird form of snow. They spend a few minutes trying to convince each other before the man says “let’s ask Officer Rudolf, he’s a very smart man!” So they stop and say “Officer Rudolf, is it raining or snowing?” Officer Rudolf confirms that it is raining, and the couple continues to stroll. Later the wife asks how he knew Officer Rudolf could answer them. The man simply replies, “because Rudolf the Red knows rain, dear.”
They only had ours!
No one wants anything to do with my Russian ties.
The Fault In Our Tsars.
They keep on Stalin.
and he told me to stop Stalin and start Russian.
Back in the old USSR, a Soviet inspector met with the foreman of a large manufacturing facility.
Inspector: good morning comrade, how many men work here?
Foreman: about half
