What do Vampire Software Developers Abhor?

Stakeholders.

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👤︎ u/evilteach
📅︎ Oct 15 2020
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Why do software developers always say 'it works on my machine'?

It's a regular expression.

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👤︎ u/pawailq
📅︎ Jan 07 2019
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What is the favorite food of software developers?

Copy-pasta.

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👤︎ u/analytik
📅︎ Dec 01 2017
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I'm a developer for a software called CAM

My manager sees me working late on the IM. MANAGER: burning the midnight oil? ME: yeah MANAGER: alright, good night and don't let the CAM bugs bite!

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👤︎ u/_toro
📅︎ Oct 16 2014
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They all hung up on me for this one.

For my job in a software company we have to record a conference call with the developer and my QA team whenever we push a new project live. During the call there was a train in the background which was pretty loud coming from the developer who is named Trey. After we had finished testing i said: "Hey, did anyone else hear that? What was that?" My boss who was in the call said: "Yea i did, it was a train i think." I let the silence hang for a bit and said: "Are you sure? It sounded like a Treyyyyyyyain" Immediately heard multiple groans and my boss says: "Ok i'm done" and leaves the call, quickly followed by everyone else.

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👤︎ u/Tirare
📅︎ Jan 24 2017
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One from work a few years ago.

I'm in my bosses' office talking about moving to a fancy new office with lots of space.

Me: "Instead of cubicles can we put small teams in wigwams?"
Boss: "Probably not. Why?"
Me: "Because then we can tell everyone that software development at {companyName} is in tents."
Boss: "Sigh... don't you have work to do?"

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👤︎ u/nerfyoda
📅︎ Dec 11 2014
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