Skewbald Puns

skewbald

adjective: Having spots or patches of white on a coat of a color other than black.

noun: A skewbald animal, especially a horse.

adjective: Spotted in an irregular manner; piebald: used especially of horses.

Word of the day Provided by : wordnik

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Posting this in case any of you are looking for something specific. I don't put everything available on me sell list.

Keep List

-Porcellio-

laevis Caramel

laevis Orange

laevis White

laevis Dairy Cow

laevis Milkback

laevis California Mix

laevis How Now

scaber Dalmatian

scaber Orange Dalmatian

scaber Lotto Mix

scaber Piebald

scaber Spanish Orange

scaber Lava

scaber Ghost

scaber Lemonade

scaber Skewbald Tri

scaber Orange Koi

scaber Koi

scaber Yellow Snow

scaber Orange Embers

scaber Red Calico

ornatus Yellow Dot

ornatus White Skirt

ornatus High Yellow

ornatus Chocolate High Yellow

ornatus Nord

ornatus Witches Brew

hoffmannseggi

hoffmannseggi Black

hoffmannseggi Chocolate

Sevilla

Valencia

silvestri

haasi High Yellow

haasi Light

haasi Giant

flavomarginatus

werneri

wagneri

bolivari

dilitatus

magnificus

lamellatus

Morocco

Morocco like barbate

Spiky Canary

expansus

spatulatus

nickelsi

incanus

sp White Antenna

spinicornis

-Armadillidium-

maculatum Color Mix

maculatum Chocolate

maculatum Yellow

maculatum Stripe

maculatum Spot

vulgare Orange Vigor

vulgare Punta Cana

vulgare Gem Mix

vulgare Magic Potion USA

vulgare Magic Potion Japan

vulgare T+ albino

vulgare T- albino

vulgare High Yellow

nasatum Wild Mix

nasatum Peach

nasatum Pearl

klugii Dubrovnik

klugii Montenegro

klugii Pudding

klugii Slano

peraccae

marbleized

frontirostre CG

gestroi

depressum

corcyraem

granulatum

pulchellum

werneri

werneri orange

sp Orange Stripe

insulare

versicolor Ceska

versicolor Polska

omblae Sandstone

-Cubaris-

iriomotensis

murina

murina Papaya

murina Glacier

Borneo

Pink Ducky

Rubber Ducky

Blonde Ducky

Panda King

Pak Chong

Orange Tiger

Silver Ghost

Red Tiger

Red Edge

Platin Tung Song

Blue Pigeon

White Pigeon

Purple Ghost

Purple Giant

Penguin

Other

Armadillo officinalis Orange Crush

Armadillo officinalis Israel

Armadillo officinalis Sicily

Armadillo officinalis Spain

Porcellionides pruinosis Powder Blue

Porcellionides pruinosis Powder Orange

Porcellionides pruinosis Whiteout

Porcellionides pruinosis Oreo Crumbles

Porcellionides pruinosis Orange Cream

Porcellionides pruinosis Silver Bullet

Porcellionides floria

Cylisticus convexus

Cylisticus convexus Ukraine Pied

Oniscus asellus

Maple BC

Mardi Gras

Trichorhina tomentosa

Key Largo

Nagurus cristatus

Niambia capensis

Venzillo parvus

Venzillo parvus Dalmatian

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Sell

A. granulatum $1 ea - .50 ea / 50+

A. sp Orange Stripe $1 ea

A. insulare $1 ea

A. vulgare Punta Cana $1 ea / .50 ea 50+

A. vulgare Gem Mix $1 ea

A. vulgare Orange Vigor $1 ea

A. vulgare Magic Potion USA $3 ea / $2 ea 20+

A. vulgare Magic Potion Japan $3 ea/$2 ea 20+

A. vulgare T+ albino $2 ea / $1.50 ea 20+

A. vulgare T- albino $5 ea

A. vulgare Wild Type .50 ea

A. maculatum Yellow Zebra $10 ea.

A. maculatum Stripe $1 ea

A. maculatum Chocolate $2 ea

A. nasatum Wild Type .50 ea

A. peraccae $1 ea - .50 ea / 50+

A. klugii Montenegro $3 ea

A. klugii Dubrovnik $3 ea

A. klugii Pudding $3 ea

A. klugii Slano $3 ea

A. corcyraem $2 ea

A. gestroi $2 ea / $1.50 ea 20+

A. frontirostre CG $1 ea / .50 ea / 50+

A. espanyoli Marbleized $2 ea

A. werneri $4 ea

C. murina $1 ea - .75 ea / 20+

C. murina Papaya $3 ea / $2 ea 20+

C. murina Glacier $10 ea

C. sp Panda King $5 ea

C. sp Pak Chong $7 ea

C. sp Red Tiger $10 ea

C. sp Red Edge $4 ea

C. sp Rubber Ducky $10 ea

C. sp Pink Ducky $10 ea

C. sp Blue Pigeon $10 ea

C. sp Platin Tung Song $5 ea

C. sp Borneo $1 ea - .75 ea / 20+

P. laevis Caramel $1 ea - .50 ea / 50+

P. laevis Dairy Cow $1 ea - .50 ea / 50+

P. laevis Milkback $1 ea - .50 ea / 50+

P. laevis Orange $1 ea - .50 ea / 50+

P. scaber Dalmatian mix $1 ea - .50 ea / 50+

P. scaber Lotto Mix $1 ea

P. scaber Piebald $1 ea culls .50 ea

P. scaber Orange Koi $2 ea

P. scaber Koi $2 ea

P. scaber Lava $2 ea

P. scaber Spanish Orange $1 ea - .50 ea / 50+

P. scaber Ghost $2 ea

P. scaber Skewbald Tri $3 ea

P. scaber Lemonade $3 ea

P. scaber Red Calico $1 ea

P. flavomarginatus $7 ea

P. ornatus High Yellow $5 ea

P. ornatus White Skirt $4 ea

P. ornatus Chocolate High Yellow $4 ea

P. bolivari $8 ea

P. hoffmannseggi $5 ea

P. hoffmannseggi Black $6 ea

P. werneri $10 ea

P. lamellatus $1 ea

P. incanus $1 ea

P. sp Like Barbate $4 ea

P. silvestri $4 ea

P. pruinosis Powder Blue $1-.50ea/50+

P. pruinosis Whiteout $1-.50ea/50+

P. pruinosis Powder Orange $1-.50ea/50+

P. pruinosis Oreo Crumbles $1-.50ea/50+

P. pruinosis Orange Cream $4 ea

P. pruinosis Color Mix $1 ea

P. floria $1-.50 ea/50+

C. convexus .50 ea - .20 ea / 50+ .10 ea 500+

C. convexus Pied $2 ea / $1.50 ea 20+

A. lentus .50 ea

A. lentus Persimmon $3 ea

M. Vietnam $7 ea

N. sp Shiro Utsuri $8 ea

I. sp Capira $10 ea

A. sp Thai $3 ea

O. asellus .50 ea

O. asellus BC Maple $4 ea

T. sp Balkan Giant $4 ea

A. floridana $1 ea

I. sp Tarrogona $1 ea

N. capens

... keep reading on reddit ➡

Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat

Do your worst!

How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?

Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.

But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.

They were cooked in Greece.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

Now that I listen to albums, I hardly ever leave the house.

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

Mathematical puns makes me number

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

And now I’m cannelloni

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

But that’s comparing apples to oranges

And boy are my arms legs.

Sell

A. granulatum  $1 ea - .50 ea / 50+

A. sp Orange Stripe $1 ea

A. insulare $1 ea

A. vulgare Punta Cana $1 ea / .50 ea 50+

A. vulgare Gem Mix $1 ea

A. vulgare Orange Vigor $1 ea

A. vulgare Magic Potion USA $3 ea / $2 ea 20+

A. vulgare Magic Potion Japan $3 ea/$2 ea 20+

A. vulgare T+ albino $2 ea / $1.50 ea 20+

A. vulgare T- albino $5 ea

A. vulgare Wild Type .50 ea

A. maculatum Yellow Zebra $10 ea.

A. maculatum Stripe $1 ea

A. maculatum Chocolate $2 ea

A. nasatum Wild Type .50 ea

A. peraccae $1 ea - .50 ea / 50+

A. klugii Montenegro $3 ea

A. klugii Dubrovnik $3 ea

A. klugii Pudding $3 ea

A. klugii Slano $3 ea

A. corcyraem $2 ea

A. gestroi $2 ea / $1.50 ea 20+

A. frontirostre CG $1 ea / .50 ea / 50+

A. espanyoli Marbleized $2 ea

A. werneri $4 ea

C. murina $1 ea - .75 ea / 20+

C. murina Papaya $3 ea / $2 ea 20+

C. murina Glacier $10 ea

C. sp Panda King $5 ea

C. sp Pak Chong $7 ea

C. sp Red Tiger $10 ea

C. sp Red Edge $4 ea

C. sp Rubber Ducky $10 ea

C. sp Pink Ducky $10 ea

C. sp Blue Pigeon $10 ea

C. sp Platin Tung Song $5 ea

C. sp Orange Tiger $30 ea

C. sp Borneo $1 ea - .75 ea / 20+

P. laevis Caramel $1 ea - .50 ea / 50+

P. laevis Dairy Cow $1 ea - .50 ea / 50+

P. laevis Milkback $1 ea - .50 ea / 50+

P. laevis Orange $1 ea - .50 ea / 50+

P. scaber Dalmatian mix $1 ea - .50 ea / 50+

P. scaber Lotto Mix $1 ea

P. scaber Piebald $1 ea culls .50 ea

P. scaber Orange Koi  $2 ea

P. scaber Koi $2 ea

P. scaber Lava $2 ea

P. scaber Spanish Orange $1 ea - .50 ea / 50+

P. scaber Ghost $2 ea

P. scaber Skewbald Tri $3 ea

P. scaber Lemonade $3 ea

P. scaber Red Calico $1 ea

P. flavomarginatus $7 ea

P. ornatus High Yellow $5 ea

P. ornatus White Skirt $4 ea

P. ornatus Chocolate High Yellow $4 ea

P. bolivari $8 ea

P. hoffmannseggi $5 ea

P. hoffmannseggi Black $6 ea

P. werneri $10 ea

P. lamellatus $1 ea

P. sp Sevilla $2 ea

P. incanus $1 ea

P. sp Like Barbate $4 ea

P. silvestri $4 ea

P. pruinosis Powder Blue $1-.50ea/50+

P. pruinosis Whiteout $1-.50ea/50+

P. pruinosis Powder Orange $1-.50ea/50+

P. pruinosis Oreo Crumbles $1-.50ea/50+

P. pruinosis Orange Cream $4 ea

P. pruinosis Color Mix $1 ea

P. floria $1-.50 ea/50+

C. convexus .50 ea - .20 ea / 50+ .10 ea 500+

C. convexus Pied $2 ea / $1.50 ea 20+

A. lentus .50 ea

A. lentus Persimmon $3 ea

M. Vietnam $7 ea

N. sp Shiro Utsuri $8 ea

I. sp Capira $10 ea

A. sp Thai $3 ea

O. asellus  .50 ea

O. asellus BC Maple $4 ea

T. sp Balkan Giant $4 ea

A

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