Did you hear about the dangerous alcoholic who consumed his booze from a sizzling Chinese frying pan?

He liked to drink risky on the woks

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πŸ‘€︎ u/incredibleinkpen
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2021
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What do you call a line of well dressed, sizzling hot babes?

Barbie queue.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ‘€︎ u/xxBurntToastxx
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2021
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Ancient farmers lived by one rule

No rain, no gain

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NoMoreTerritory
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2020
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Two sausages sizzling in a pan...

Sausage 1: Flipping heck mate, it’s hot in here!

Sausage 2: oh my god, a talking sausage!!

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ‘€︎ u/CheeselogBites
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2018
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Looking for a new pun tat

I already have a bee on my butt-cuz when I do the sizzle finger thing I say it stings beeing this hot

A pacifier on my middle finger- for the suckers

I am hoping to get a fly in a suit soon holding some jars of honey- cuz you can catch a fly with honey but you can catch more hunnys being fly

Any other ideas would be appreciated

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Drippinsteezsam
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2019
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My first dad joke. Why did snoop dog preheat his frying pan?

For sizzle

πŸ‘︎ 135
πŸ‘€︎ u/flushyjames
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2019
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My wife and I were stuck in traffic for a long time. Frustrated, I looked at her and said, β€œI’m turning round.”

She said, β€œI know. Stop eating so much bacon.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2019
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What does a frog do when it barbecues?

Rib it...duh!

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ‘€︎ u/shitbutter
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2016
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A moment ago in our kitchen...

My wife was just babywearing our 11-week-old while she cooked dinner. As she did so, she was having a conversation both with our daughter and all the utensils.

"See, all the food in the pan is going sizzle sizzle sizzle! And we use Mr. Spatula to move it around. Say hi to Mr. Spatula! And then once it's done, we're going to put into Mr. Strainer. Can you say hi to Mr. Strainer?"

"Hey!", I interjected, "Absolutely not! Don't you go teaching her to talk to strainers!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HalBriston
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2014
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A dadjoke at the restaurant

Dad: "I'll have the steak diane"

Waitress: "How do you want that cooked?"

Dad: "like this" pretends to be shaking a frying pan whilst making sizzling noises

Waitress: Genuinely laughs

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πŸ‘€︎ u/smallbrainbighead
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2014
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Watching bear grylls the island with dad...

sun goes down over the sea on the horizon

Dad: it's funny, you never hear it sizzle.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/saab121
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2015
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Got my mother today.

My mother does not do well in hot weather, which is bad because we live in the desert. She was complaining today about the heat inside the house. My dad was being unsympathetic, so I come out of my room and she turns to me.

"Is it hot in here?" She asks me.

"I think it might just be me," I said with a smirk. Not getting it, she pushes harder.

"Are you hot?"

"Yes." *licks finger* *places finger on body* *sizzle*

She just gave me a look and my dad laughed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JDRPG
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2014
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