The next Star Wars movie will debut a new droid with a comically-short attention span.

His name is 80-HD.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/el_gregorio
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 29 2020
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So I just got back from watching the new Christopher Nolan movie. Here's my short review..

Tenet of ten.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Digitek50
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 02 2020
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In the movie "Being John Malkovich", they literally made a long story short.
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/clifwith1f
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 29 2018
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I dare you to read this

What tree do you wipe your hands on? A palm tree!

I heard a scary math joke, but Iโ€™m 2^^2 to tell it!

Have you heard of that new movie, โ€œConstipationโ€? Well it doesnโ€™t matter, it never came out.

I hurt myself when I went to a theme park in florida. When I went to the doctor, he started wrapping up my left leg, but then I pointed at my right and said โ€œNo, doc, itโ€™s dis knee.โ€

Last night I got mugged by 6 dwarves. Not Happy.

When Queen Elizabeth farts, everyone in the room must pretend like nothing happened. Noble Gasses donโ€™t cause reactions, after all.

Whatโ€™s the difference between a seal and a sea lion? One electron.

What happens to nitrogen when the sun rises? It becomes Daytrogen!

I called the animal shelter today and said "I've found six kittens in a suitcase in the woods." They said "Are they moving?" I replied "I don't know, but that would explain the suitcase."

Why canโ€™t you trust Atoms? Because they make up everything!

Why do nerds wear glasses? It helps with division.

Why should you tiptoe past the medicine cabinet? You donโ€™t wanna wake the sleeping pills.

What twitches and is found at the bottom of the ocean? A nervous wreck!

What do you call a fat psychic? A four chin teller!

What do you call a 3 foot tall psychic on the run from the law? A small medium at large!

Help, I canโ€™t stop reading books with female protagonists! Iโ€™m a heroine addict!

How did Sparticus react when he ate his wife for dinner? He was gladiator!

When does a joke become a dad joke? When the punchline becomes apparent!

19 and 20 got into a fightโ€ฆ 21.

My friend told me, โ€œPeople who sell meat are disgusting!โ€ So I said, โ€œYeah, well people who sell fruits and vegetables are grocer!โ€

How can turtles take photos of themselves? Shell-fie sticks!

What do you call a secret agent molecule? Bondโ€ฆ ionic bond. โ€œTaken, not shared.โ€ What did the dinosaur say to the other dinosaur? (Cut this part, but make a screeching noise)

How much does Santaโ€™s sleigh cost? $0, itโ€™s on the house.

If America switched from pounds to kilograms overnight there would be mass confusion.

I had a splinter once; it eventually got out of hand.

Iโ€™m going to go stand outside. If anyone asks, Iโ€™m outstanding.

Most people are shocked to find out how terrible an electrician I am!

What do mermaids wash their fins with? Tide Whatโ€™s the coolest place to use the bathroom? The Lil Jon

Did you know that on average, people want three covers on their bed at all times? But thatโ€™s just a blanket statem

... keep reading on reddit โžก

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/kinjago
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 27 2019
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Every.Damn.Movie.

Sitting in the cinema when the trailers end and the light comes up for a minute before the real movie starts.

Dad: "Well, well what a nice movie, wasn't it? A little short but still..." pretends to stand up and leave

On rare occasions I have seen two dads do the pretending to leave thing at the same fucking time. It's like the universal dadjoke one has to perform at least once before entering the magic league of joking dads.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/SUCCESSFUL_DUDE
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 26 2013
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A friend of mine is annoyed about the upcoming Tetris movie trilogy

He said nobody wants a Tetris movie.

I told him demand will fall in place very shortly.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/wjack12
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 01 2016
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Star Wars Puns

From movie puns we provide you the funniest collection of Star Wars puns

What do you call 5 siths piled on top of a lightsaber? A Sith-Kabob!


Why does Princess Leia keep her hair tied up in buns? So it doesnโ€™t Hang Solow!


Why shouldnโ€™t you ask Yoda for money? Because heโ€™s always a little short


What program do Jedi use to view PDF files? Adobe Wan Kenobi


What do you call a Mexican jedi? Obi-Juan Kenobi


What do you call the website Chewbacca started that gives out Empire secrets? Wookieeleaks


What do you call a Jedi in denial? Obi-Wan Cannot Be


Where does Princess Leia go shopping for clothing? At the Darth Maul


Greg: Which Star Wars character travels around the world? Craig: Who? Greg: Globi-wan Kenobi!


Matthew: What does a Star Destroyer wear to a wedding? Daniel: What? Matthew: Bow ties, of course!


Deen Why was the droid angry? Mark: Why? Deen People kept pushing its buttons.


Luke: Why did Anakin Skywalker cross the road? Lei Not sure. Luke: To get to the Dark Side.


Darth Vader: I know what youโ€™re getting for Christmas. Luke: How do you know? Darth Vader: I can feel your presents.


What do Whipids say when they kiss? Ouch.


What is a jediโ€™s favorite toy? A yo-yoda


What do you call a pirate droid? Argh2-D2


Where does Jabba the Hutt eat? Pizza Hutt


What is Jabba the Huttโ€™s middle name? โ€œTheโ€ Why is Han Solo a loner? Because heโ€™s solo.


What do you call a Mexican jedi? Obi-Juan Kenobi What do you call a Sith who wonโ€™t fight? A Sithy.


What time is it when Darth Vader steps on your chronometer? Time to get a new chronometer.


What do you call a pirate droid? Arrrrgh-2-D2


Which side of a wookie has the most hair? The outside.


Where does Jabba eat dinner? Pizza Hutt


Who do Jedi call to help open PDF files? Adobe Wan Kenobi


What do you call someone that tries to be a Jedi? Obi-Wannabe


What do you call a bounty hunter from Alabama? Bubba Fett


What time is it when Jabba the Hutt sits on your blaster? Time to get a new blaster! Why is Luke


Skywalker always invited on picnics? He always has the forks with him.


Which imperial officer hated Thanksgiving? Grand Moff Turkeyn


What do you call stormtroopers playing Monopoly? Game of Clones


Why did

... keep reading on reddit โžก

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Punsville
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 04 2017
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While at a beach house for Thanksgiving my dad pulled this one off.

My dad's chair kept lowering on its own, and he said to my Aunt "Now I know what it's like to be you" Then we started listing advantages of being short. He said you could goto movies for a child ticket. she replies "I used to"
He said "I used to be able to too"
"Really?"
"Yeah, back when I was a kid"

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/PigasusGaming
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 22 2016
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I'll remember to check it out, dad

So my dad texted me with some movie recomendations

Dad:"have you seen Momento? It's about a guy who loses his short term memory"

Me:"Sounds familiar but I'll check it out. Is it on Netflix?"

Dad:"Yeah. it's a thriller where the story goes backwards"

Five minutes later....

Dad:"Have I told you about the movie where a guy loses his short term memory?"

God dammit dad...

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/AssRabbit
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 04 2015
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I think this was an unintentional dad joke

So me and the girlfriend had date night tonight and at one point prior to the movie she talked about how everything is changing and I should know she is afraid of change. Shortly after the movie as we pull out of the theatre I reach into the handle of the car door and grab a couple coins and toss them at her while she's posting how great the movie was. She gets startled and does a Eep I immediately just go hmm... I guess you are afraid of change and she just sighs in aggravation

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/classysassymolassy
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 23 2016
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Classic joke after forgetting something in the house.

Me: Bye dad, I'll see you in a few hours after I get home from the movies!

Dad: Bye!

me leaving and returning 5 seconds later because I forgot something such as my keys or gkasses

Dad: Wow, you're back so quick! That must have been a short movie!

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Battletooth
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 14 2013
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My dad's foot is famous..

My dad: They made a movie about when I broke my little toe.

Me: Really??

My dad: It was a short cast.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/santacruzer7
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 02 2014
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